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EmmaJane
04-05-05, 22:50
Ive been reading a post from a while back, called fear of death.

I fear death and wonder whats going to happen to me. It really scares me. I think this is why I have my health anxiety, because I know it will happen oneday, so as soon as I get something wrong with me, I fear the worst and think its my time.

Im not sure if this makes sense, but if it does, has anyone else overcome or learnt to deal with their fear? If so has anyone got any advice please.


Emma xx

seh1980
04-05-05, 23:22
hello Emma,

Your fear is very normal and nothing to be ashamed about. We all fear death, anxiety sufferers and non-anxiety sufferers alike. As you say though, we are all going to die someday so there is not much you can do about it. Have you tried relaxation cds, etc? These things will teach you how to think more positively..

Sarah :D

linjane
05-05-05, 08:17
Hi Emma,

I'm just like you and I can't think rationally about it at all. I wish I could be like other people, and think it is going to happen one day and we can't do anything about it, but I can't think like that. I don't want it to ever happen to me or any other members of my family and I don't know how to deal with the fear.

Sorry, I don't think I have helped you at all but maybe someone will give us some advise that will help. I don't see how relaxation methods would stop us fearing it either but maybe that is because I have feared it for so long?

I think you'll find there will be lots of others on here who have the same fear especially associated with anxiety. The negative thoughts don't help either.

Take care,
Love, Linda.x

jill
05-05-05, 09:54
Hi Emma,

Mr Panic and Mrs Axniaty gave me alot of fears, I faced them all. I know that one day I will die but this is one fear I found very hard to get out of my mind. Every day I battled with my thoughts on how to get rid of this fear as well as battling with symptoms of PA Anxiaty. One day I went to visit my brothers grave, I sat at his gravside and talked to him, I told him my fears. My brother died along time ago when he was 6 years old he would be 38 now. After sitting there for awhile my thoughts went back in time, I started to think of all the good times that I had with him and that one day ( not now and not for a long time ) we would be together and I would see what he looked like now and that there was nothing to fear because I would be with my brother and other loved ones that I have lost.
Another thought is to think that after death you will be in a nice palce, it could be anything as long as it is a positive thought.
This thought helped me get through the fear of death. As time as gone on and I have learned not to fear the symptoms of Anxiaty the PA's sttoped and I am better. I do not fear death now.
Relaxation cds, do work but you also have to change your thoughts towards your fears.
I know its hard Emma to change your thoughts but it CAN be done.

TAKE CARE

WISHING YOU WELL LOVE JILLXX

May your troubles be less
and you blessing be more
and nothing but happiness
come through your door.

EmmaJane
05-05-05, 10:35
Thanks for the replies. Yes, I do listen to relaxation, CDs. Although, it doesnt help my negative thoughts.

Jill, my brother died, 5 years ago. He was 46. I do tend to shut it out of my mind, but when I think about him, I just cry. ( which I am now ). I get so annoyed with myself and think I shouldnt be like this.

I have always been anxious and prone to stress and depression, since a bad marriage and having the children, but all these health and death thoughts, have started since my brother died.

Emma xx

seh1980
05-05-05, 14:30
Emma - have you tried counselling at all? :D

EmmaJane
05-05-05, 18:52
Yes, im at councilling. Was seeing someone before christmas, she then left. I have now got a new one, who Ive been seeing for around 8 weeks. I get on well with her, so hopefully in time, I can work this out.

I understand when people say, they never think there going to get out of this, because its hard to imagine, not worrying or being able to deal with your worries.

I have recently, started mixing up my own aromatherapy oils. The past 2 days, I was using ones for anxiety and my stomach problems. And...... my stomach problems seem to be sorted. Today was a real good day.

Emma xx

linjane
05-05-05, 19:03
Hi Emma,

Hope you can work through your fear and I really hope I didn't make you feel worse, I don't think I explained myself very well, it was a bit early. As Jill said, Relaxation CDs do work but like you, I have trouble changing my negative thoughts. My anxiety reached its peak three years ago when I lost my third child, a baby boy called Cory. Before Cory I had already lost both parents and grandparents and this has just emphasised my fear. I do like to think of them altogether somewhere and really hope they are.

I am going to an evening of Clairvoyance on 14th May. I have always been tempted and this one is with Simon Peters from Most Haunted. He says he can prove God's promise of life after death is true and I think those are the answers I'm looking for. I'll let you know how it goes.

Hope you are feeling ok now. Keep up with the counselling as well.

Take care,
Love,
Linda.x

EmmaJane
05-05-05, 19:12
Linda,

Im sorry to hear about all your losses, but Im quite sure they are altogether.

Im into that kind of stuff to be honest. Where is it being held, it sounds really good.

Good luck, I hope you find some comfort in this. Definately let me know how you get on.


Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

linjane
05-05-05, 19:25
Hi Emma,

I live in Wolverhampton and its being held at the Britannia Hotel in Wolverhampton. His website is www.simonpeters.co.uk.

It all seemed like a sign somehow. I spotted it in the paper and then checked out the website. The wording was really good and then he said if you had a lost a SON, daughter, mother, father etc.. and I wondered why he had chosen to write son first rather than the obvious, like grandparent or something then when I looked in the paper and found the date - 14th May - that was when I decided for defo to go, that was the day before we lost Cory. It will be 3years on 15th May. I am a bit scared of going but feel I should, if I could know for sure we would all be together one day I'm sure I wouldn't be so scared.

Living with anxiety is really hard but it is good to have this site to talk to others who feel the same.

Which part of the country are you?

Linda.x

EmmaJane
05-05-05, 19:45
Oh Lin I really do hope you get something out of this, it is very hard.

Are you going on your own? ( if so thats very brave )

If you want to talk, then feel free to email, PM or MSN me, ill always be willing to listen.

I live in Gloucestershire.



Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

Meg
05-05-05, 19:59
**I get so annoyed with myself and think I shouldnt be like this. **
Why not - grief is ongoing - its gets more controlable but we still grieve. Cruse is the bereavement charity and offer great support

Glad today was a good day !

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

jill
06-05-05, 09:59
Hi Emma,

Sooo sorry if my post upset you. I do understand how you feel.
As meg said grief is ongoing as time passes it gets more controable.
When reading your post and replys just for a second I let my mind think back and a horrible thought went through my mind, my heart skipted a beat and I thought how my brother died. As quick as the thought came I blocked it and thought about the good times that we had togther.
If this thought would have happed when I was high on anxiaty I would not have been able to remove it as quick.
With time support and practice you to CAN learn how to change your thoughs.
I am happy to hear that you had a good day. You may not feel it but as each day passes you ARE moving forward and I know that one day you will be where I am and that is feeling better.
YOU CAN BEAT THIS.

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXX

linjane
06-05-05, 19:13
Hi Emma,
Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

No, I'm not going on my own, I'm definately not that brave!!!!lol

I will let you know how I get on and if you need to talk I'm here for you too.

Take care,
Love, Linda.x

sal
07-05-05, 00:27
Hi Emma

Sorry to have missed this post and not replied earlier. Death isnt easy for anyone, it is the unknown where at last we have no control, which reflects on anxiety where we do have control however hard it gets.

It is something that people accept and people cant accept and how we judge between that is how we cope with it.

When my dad died and i will admit after years of misery i wasnt upset the vicar asked me to read a poem, which at the time i felt i couldnt, felt a hypocrite and didnt understand death but he told me a valuable thing.

Its the next step after living you cant take if further than that and you cant and wont decide when it ends, its fate and life that deals that card so dont be afraid. Made me think and understand it a lot more maybe not you but i needed that to help me at the time.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

ariadne
13-05-05, 15:06
Hi, Emma, I am new here and so am late in responding to this. I totally understand your feelings.My panic attacks have always been centered on the fear of death. From reading everyone's posts here and understanding all of their personal losses through the deaths of loved ones I have come to understand the trigger of my anxiety. Four yrs ago I was three months pregnant and my child's father disappeared. I just found out in august of 2004 that he was murdered. I actually had something to do with the police reopening the case and requestioning the last two people to see him alive which was his ex wife and her husband. As it turned out they killed him when he brought some of her things down to her residence. Living with his disappearance for 4 yrs really took its toll on me. Then finding out that my worst fears were true really didn't help matters at all. So I understand everyone's loss here. I can see how anxiety can be related to personal loss. I guess it is a part of the grieving process. I just think some of us are more sensitive by this sort of loss than others. It is almost as if we are traumatized by it.Atleast that is how it seems to me. I know my panic attacks have everything to do with the fear of death. I often think about death too much. I think about my own death every day. I have good days and bad days though. Lately I have tried to see the lighter side of life and that sometimes helps. I try to focus on my children. I try to be happy as much as possible. It isn't always easy. Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I SUCCEED THOUGH.

EmmaJane
13-05-05, 23:13
Ariadne,

Thank you very much for your reply. Im so sorry what happened to you. I totally understand how you feel and how you think about your own death. My brother died 5 years ago and since then is when my health anxiety struck and the deep thoughts of death. Dont think ive really come to terms with that properly, just try and shut it out and not think about it.

We will get through this, I suppose the main thing is accepting we have anxiety etc and then we can deal with it?

Take care

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

seh1980
14-05-05, 11:06
hi Emma,

Accepting that we have anxiety is the key thing to recovering. I didn't do this for a long time, but once I did, the recovery started..

Sarah :D

florence
14-05-05, 12:53
Hi Emma

Sorry about your brother... must be very difficult to live with.
I wish you all the best.
Florence.

** Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.**

EmmaJane
19-05-05, 13:40
Thanks Florence,

I tend to shut it out, think I still need to go through the grieving process

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

JoaoPaulo
28-05-05, 16:17
Hello Emma.
It's kind of funny but you're the second person that I found in this foum , with the same fear that I always had.
I would like to talk to you in msn or in the chat room , the one that you prefered , if you want of course.
my msn adress is : azinheiro_joao@hotmail.com

I'm portuguese so don't make attention to grammar errors or mistakes.
Bye