flashbacks & the dirty

[algrose]

(ive been diagnosed wiht pstd Dec. 2003)

I get these flashbacks for one thing in particular out of all the bad experiences ive been through. (all of them together is bad enough!) but this one thing just makes me want to rip my skin off. I feel so ashamed and embarrased, and its like I have to live it all over every day in my head. And this incident happened 15 years ago. For some reason the anxiety & dirtiness is worse when i shower/bathe. I can't stand this, i really feel like ripping out my hair. I've tried therapy a couple times, but I found myself way too uncomfterble and irritated. I dont' know what to do with myself. I'm so angry most of the time, and its hurting myself and the people around me. I shouldnt have to deal with this that happened years ago! I guess it doesnt help that Im around this "person" a lot.. but i really think that wouldnt change anything .... this town is just full of horrible memories.

I feel so discousting.

[kairen]

Hi algrose,

Its so sad to read how bad you feel right now, do you have any one that you can confide in, I'm sure throughout the day you will get some good advice on here, just wanted you to know that there are people here who will be able to offer you the right advice on coping with this, i do so feel for you i have a friend in a similar position, who has told no one her whole life, apart from me, so i understand the anger you feel,

take care hun, remember none of this is your fault
keep in touch, you will get lots of help on here



kairen x

[carlin]

Hi Algrose,
I am so very sorry you are feeling so awful. as said, is there anyone at all that you can confide in, you need to be told that none of what happened was your fault, but i know that the re-actions you are having are quite normal (if that's the right word), i'm not qualified and don't really have any advice to give, but keep in touch, we are hear to listen and help in any way we can. xxx

[Meg]

Algrose,

'I shouldnt have to deal with this that happened years ago!' Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to cast these things aside but they stick with us .. unfortunately this did happen and you have to deal with it in order to help yourself move on.

The ashamed and embarrased bit is what you need to strive to let go of.. You were very small and in no way responsible for the situation. The bathing thing is quite common as there ar no clothes/image to hide behind and the memories become more pronounced as if time has stood still.

There are several ways to go about this - all painful but to different degrees to each person.

Therapy comes in many forms and it will all be uncomfortable, you need to be able to break through that before meeting peace and comfort. You can choose which type you think would help most . Try a few out in a free introductory session.










Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[sal]

Hi Algrose

This is really hard for you as we can see by you post and i hope we can help you to get through this.

We dont judge and only want to help and i hope we can you as you are going through such a hard time.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.