algrose
06-05-05, 05:27
(ive been diagnosed wiht pstd Dec. 2003)
I get these flashbacks for one thing in particular out of all the bad experiences ive been through. (all of them together is bad enough!) but this one thing just makes me want to rip my skin off. I feel so ashamed and embarrased, and its like I have to live it all over every day in my head. And this incident happened 15 years ago. For some reason the anxiety & dirtiness is worse when i shower/bathe. I can't stand this, i really feel like ripping out my hair. I've tried therapy a couple times, but I found myself way too uncomfterble and irritated. I dont' know what to do with myself. I'm so angry most of the time, and its hurting myself and the people around me. I shouldnt have to deal with this that happened years ago! I guess it doesnt help that Im around this "person" a lot.. but i really think that wouldnt change anything .... this town is just full of horrible memories.
I feel so discousting.
I get these flashbacks for one thing in particular out of all the bad experiences ive been through. (all of them together is bad enough!) but this one thing just makes me want to rip my skin off. I feel so ashamed and embarrased, and its like I have to live it all over every day in my head. And this incident happened 15 years ago. For some reason the anxiety & dirtiness is worse when i shower/bathe. I can't stand this, i really feel like ripping out my hair. I've tried therapy a couple times, but I found myself way too uncomfterble and irritated. I dont' know what to do with myself. I'm so angry most of the time, and its hurting myself and the people around me. I shouldnt have to deal with this that happened years ago! I guess it doesnt help that Im around this "person" a lot.. but i really think that wouldnt change anything .... this town is just full of horrible memories.
I feel so discousting.