I Will Miss You [Archive]

Hope 2

07-08-08, 00:28

Hello :flowers:

I have been a member for a while. This place has helped me loads. In some ways though, it makes me feel so much worse about myself.

Rejection and me go hand in hand. I think it's time to say goodbye. I hate me for many reasons. I hate me for not having the balls to ask for the help I so desperately need. I have tonnes of ideas for threads to help me and others ......... but I am so feeble and so pathetic I can't pluck up courage to post them....even now.

Yeah in some ways I have improved. But the past is still so very much my present and I am never gonna forgive myself. End of story. Once I learn to live with the sick twisted memories, I may find the peace I crave. How can I though when everything was my fault. Mental illness is my punishment, life without sh*te is undeserved.

Thank you to those who helped me. I am sorry for those I tried to help, and didn't.

Farewell Folks
Hope xx .............. well ....... Julia ..... actually lol.
God Bless xx

titchjd

07-08-08, 00:37

oh Julia so sorry u feel this way and we are here 2 help sweet if u just give your self a chance ...we all do wrong however bad but that doesnt mean u shud punish yrself xxxxxx

take care hun
Titch xxxxxxxxxx

marie1974

07-08-08, 00:58

hiya hey u are a great mate of mine and i luvya hun, dont u dare give up hun, and no goodbyes. you really can get through this and deal with it, u are one strong lady and look at the emails you have sent me, you are always right. the past can be so painful but dont let it win. i am having a craptime dealing with my past lets do it together mate me and you, i will be there for you i promise, you been so good to me, let me help you. hugs xxx

Lilith1980

07-08-08, 06:58

Hi Julia

Please dont feel you have to go, Donna is right, the past can be painful but you can get through this hun, and we are all here to help you :)

Jo xxxxx

lesleya

07-08-08, 07:33

Sorry your feeling like this, but i hope you decide to stay and get the help you need.
:hugs:

bluesparkle

07-08-08, 08:19

hello hope
dont feel you need to leave,
i to find it difficult to post for help sometimes and i have been a memeber for many years.
but i have started to post more, and sometimes about the things i find most difficult to talk about, but no one here judges and someone always understands.
dont give up hope of getting better because it will happen, i can see a huge difference in me.
please dont hate yourself. . . and psot a few of those threads and see what happens.
please dont think everything is your fault i used to think that and it is only now i realise it wasnt my fault and i am not to blame.
which ever you decide to do be kind to yourself and keep fighting.
rach
x

kellie

07-08-08, 09:20

:weep: im sorry you feel you should leave but i do hope you change your mind and stay with us. EVERYBODY has done things they regret hun and you know here that ppl done judge you no matter what.
I for one would like to see some of them ideas you have
You never know the responce you get untill you post them, so have a rethink about it.
I also think the advice you have given ppl here on your posts has been great and very helpful.
What ever you need to talk about we are all here for you so plz dont feel you cant talk to us about things

:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

kellie.xxxxxxxxxx

Zingara

07-08-08, 11:34

Hi... I just wanted to tell you how much you've helped me, you were really kind and supportive on a day when I had got myself in a state. PLEASE don't give up and say goodbye, I for one really want to hear all your ideas, please post them. I do understand how you feel, I think we all feel anxious about posting, I know I do. But the relief that comes with sharing your problems makes it worthwhile.
I'm not minimising how bad you feel... I too feel like a prisoner of the past in a lot of ways, I'm also finding recovery a long and very difficult journey. I've been on the brink of giving up so many times. I also am plagued with memories and regrets. I know only too well how tough it is, I'm nearly in tears writing this.
No one on here can take away your pain, that's true. But this is a community of people who understand and listen and care. Please don't give up, Julia. Why not leave it a day or two and see how you feel. I would really miss you if you left. xxx

marie1974

07-08-08, 16:23

hiya mate see how many people care and want to help, keep strong and like i told u last night on text im here always and i really wanna help mate, dont give up, please. auntie jules cant give up u been my agony aunt now let me be yours, i might be abit bossy though lol you know me say it how it is. please please tell me how u are feeling, open up mate, talk to me, u really will feel better for talking. thinking of u hun, email me later or text me let me know u ok. hugs else i worry xxx

milly jones

07-08-08, 18:10

hi hope

my mate julia

if u need to go then thats ok, we respect ur decision

if u chose that so many of ur friends value u and ur support then perhaps u will consider coming back.

sometimes when we are down, we do blame ourselves for the past, but its the future we want to help u with too.

i for one would be extremely sad to not see ur name on posts.

there is loads of things on here that i never thought id have the guts to admit and ask for help over. it is hard, but nmp is a safe place.

perhaps u will come back and allow us to share in ur worries and try to offer help, as u have done for us,

thank you for all u have done

milly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

kazzie

07-08-08, 21:29

Hi Hope:hugs:

Dont give up please

You can and will turn things around, trust me

Kaz x x x:hugs:

bubblerawk

08-08-08, 06:12

Hi Hope,
please dont even think about giving up.
i thought about it alot but i've pushed on and got through it.
a few months ago, may i think it was i was going through so much, i didnt think i could take much more. so i took an overdose and ended up in A&E.
what im trying to say is things look really bad now, but trust me it will get better, we're in august now and i feel alot better i've got through my problems it was hard but i did it and i've just had my tablets reduced.

i know it seems like nothing is going to change but things really will get better, its hard work but you can do it.:)

hope you feel better soon

Helen
x

pooh

08-08-08, 06:55

Hi Hope

feeling pretty low huh? You shouted sweetie and we are here listening and responding. You aren't alone!

Pooh xxxx

Granny Primark

08-08-08, 07:31

Hi hope,
How sad to read your post.
Its obvious you have some very good friends on this site.
Dont give up, stick around and and let your feelings out more.
I dont know you but you obviously seem very respected and loved by your friends on here.

samc100

08-08-08, 10:09

Please don't leave.... stay around. We won't pry but we'll hold your hand and give you hugs when you need them.

I'd hate to think of you out there lonely and dwelling on things when there are lovely people here who can hand you a virutal kleenex and give you some comfort.

Hope 2

12-08-08, 00:51

Hello All :D

I thank each and everyone of you for taking the time to reply. It means loads to me.

I couldn't face here until now.

My issues relate to my 'childhood' or rather, lack of a happy one. Maybe I might be able to open up more, I don't know. It hurts like hell and I am ashamed.

Anyway......I have gone and got myself an appt with a counsellor. I have had plenty CBT in last few years. But never talked. Not properly, I think u will und wot I mean.

So wish me luck for Wednesday, maybe I can let u know how it goes? (it's just a assesment).

Thanks for those of u who returned the care.

Love Julia xx

marie1974

12-08-08, 09:25

hi mate im glad u seeing counsellor and yes let me know how it goes and please as hard as it is be dead honest with them hun. i know it will be really hard but once u are through the honest talking, i promise you will feel so much better for doing it. you have nothing to be ashamed about matey, nothing. you have to get rid of the hurt thats eating u up and anger probably too. hugs xxx

jesse08

12-08-08, 10:12

Hi Jules, I have been honoured to know you on here and as this place is never "closed", you can always come back at any time and post. I want to wish you all the Luck and happiness in the world. I know you are really popular on here and will be missed but maybe the counselling will help and you'll feel better in yourself and come back here to see what's going on even if only for a brief visit. I'm not gonna say don't go or beg you to stay because I don't know all your stuff and we all have to do what is right for us so if you have decided it's time to move on, I respect that. Take Care my friend Lotsalove xx

Hope 2

12-08-08, 13:49

Thanks Donna and Jesse, really, it means a lot.

Deep down I don't know if I trust anyone. By that I mean, I know how I feel about them, but I find it hard to accept that ....actually .......they might just be telling the truth when they say they care/love me. I know who is at the top of my list and she is the one person who should love me unconditionally, but she doesn't. This is kinda where I was coming from with my thread ideas, to discuss these type of issues. We will see eh :blush: lol.

Soz for the depressing post. I feel okay though, I just was sharing a bit of my personal angst.

Love Julia xx

Hope 2

12-08-08, 16:41

Hi Guys :flowers:

Well I did it !!
See thread in anxiety section .......................:shrug: ..............eeeeek :ohmy: ...................

Feel like im waitin for a first date :blush:
Love Julia xx