Am I the only one who gets this??

[Yvonne]

I have asked this question before - a while ago but it bugs me so much and so I must ask again.

I get panicky in shops and places where I feel a bit trapped but I go in shops every day and can feel ok. My problem is that when the panicky symptoms start coming on (i.e lurching stomach etc) I get this intense need to cry. This really really upsets me because I feel other anxiety sufferers don't get it.

Love to all
Yvonne

[milly jones]

when i get anx i cry too

once did it in back of school hall at sons xmas play. got uncontrollable urge to escqpe and sobbed

its not just u hunny

milly xxx

[Yvonne]

Oh Milly thanks for that it troubles more than I can say. xx

Yvonne

[jill]

Hi hun, :D:hugs:

I know and understand that if you put something on the fourms and you feel you are alone with the symptom, ohh Mrs anxiety loves this, she knows you will fear this and ohhh boy, does she play with you. I remember putting a symptom on hear, found it very, very hard to explain and it seemed that no one had it, ohhhh no one :ohmy: will not go into that, BUT, this symptoms was very, very strong when I was acute, when I got better, this symptom just went away, mmm still may get it a little from time, to time, but, the prof is in the pudding so to speak, it was at its worse when I was acute.

I feel that it is soo important to know and understand about panic, anxiety,. but what is just as important is learning about yourself too. We are all different, some poeple hold things in, some people lash out, some people shout, some people just want to hide and some people cry. Not just with panic, anxiety, but with other things in life too, when things go wrong in life, you will find, like me, you just want to cry, crying is a natral response, it sets off hormones in the body the helps us get through bad time,s, there is noo harm at all in crying, its good to have a good cry.

The fact that it bugs you, Mrs anxiety has picked up on this, I know I would ask myself the question, "what harm would it do if I did cry in these places" my answer to myself would be "NO harm at all, if I want to cry, I WILL" If you welcome something like this, tell yourself its ok, then you are allowing yourself to do so and it may stop, but if you try and stop yourself cos you don't like it, it will happen anyway.

My daugther suffered pa's, high anxiety from a very young age, will not go into that, (she is doing GREAT) last week in disney paris, she had a hicup,(panic) boarding a buss, will not go into that, but she began to cry, I quided her away from the crowds, told her it was ok to cry, she had a good sob,we talked, cos I know what to do with her, we chatted AND THEN 2 busses later hehe, she got on the buss :yahoo:there are reasons for this hiccup, but will not go into that.

Hun, we are all different, me, when I was acuet, I used to freeze, ohh boy, could not move, imagin or should I so, DON'T imagin me standing in a shop and feeling unable to move. As I said, not only get to know about panic, anxiety, but get to know yourself too, your own emotions, help yourself to understand its ok if you feel the need to cry.

I do hope this has helped a little, even if its knowing you are not alone.

YOU TAKE CARE :hugs:

LOVE JILLXXX

[Yvonne]

Jill

That was an excellent reply and thank you.

I have been told this many times by my therapist - just cry when you need to and "sod everyone else". It's not so easy though in a supermarket queue. A neighbour of mine who is a good support to me recently told me that after her dear hubby died she cried in supermarkets bus queues etc. She can't see anything wrong with it and can't understand my fear. Thing is, I aint never seen anyone cry in a supermarket queue or waiting in the gp's waiting room. So I just think I'm really really bad with this illness ........ and then I worry --- oh do I worry.

You are right though that Mrs Anxiety as you call the demon has grabbed onto the fact that it distresses me so much and that is why it keeps happening. I want to MAKE myself believe that it wouldn't matter even if I did cry in a public place because I know that if I truly believed that it wasn't such a terrible thing to happen then the fear of it would go away.

Please please could anyone give me any tips on how to brainwash myself into believing that if I did happen to lose control and actually cry in a public place that it wouldn't be so bad after all.

If anyone knows of a pill that stops crying then do please let me know - (tongue in cheek) - 2mg of diazepam certainly don't do it for me.
Love to all xx

Yvonne

[bab]

Hi Yvonne

its funny you should say abput the crying because its never happened to me before but today I was out shopping and felt panicky then i felt a rush of funny emotion and felt like i needed to really sob - anxiety never manifested itself to me like that before, but I think it was just the panic.Crying is a good thing as it releases all the tension. On the other hand to me what you are saying sounds more like an obsessional thought like if you read other forums of people worried they are going mad or going to hurt someone - your worry is that you will cry in a public place. maybe your scared of making a fool of yourself. I think when you get these thoughts just let them come into your head and they will go away. its like if someone told you not to think of an elephant - you would keep thinking of one - you are telling yourself i musnt cry i musnt cry - the more you try and push the thoughts away the more it will come in your head - so if you feel like your going to cry, say so bloody what - go on cry and it should go - or when you get the thoughts - try counting backwards from 100 - its just a distraction technique.

[alexis]

Ive left a full trolley twice in a supermarket queue because of needing to cry or feeling extrememly sick, then I cried louder when I got home and realised i had it all to do again,I find it easier to control in other shops, maybe because the waiting is less,xxxx

[milly jones]

oowww alexis

left many a supermarket trolley and fled

my hb used to think i was a shopoholic and enjoyed it so wanted to do it again. little did he know what was brewing in my head.

we are a funny lot

think of us all running out of shops in tears and ud laugh ur head off if u saw it on camera, esp if u still were holding goods, with partners and kids hurrying after u

u have to laugh or ud cry lol

milly xxxxx

[Yvonne]

Oh - it's making me feel better - all these wonderful replies of people who have expierienced it.

Bab - I think you are right you know it could be an obsessional thought. Milly, yes good idea if, when I'm in supermarket and get the feeling I could think of a load of women running out of the shop crying - maybe that would make me smile.

Just had a brilliant thought - you know supermarkets usually have the 10 items aisle, maybe they could have one headed up "Cryers/Panickers Queue" then all sufferers would be together and we could all have a good chat or cry for that matter lol.

Love to all xx
Yvonne

[milly jones]

yes but the queue would be so long id pa waiting lol

[jill]

Hi hun, :D:hugs:

Then I quess that no one from this site has been behind me in a suppermarket me sobbing? lady comes up to me and asks, "are you ok? my thoughts are, ohh that was soo nice of her to ask, tell her I'm fine,say, thak you for asking, just crying cos I can't find the blinkin beans and laugh, LOL and walk away.

***Please please could anyone give me any tips on how to brainwash myself into believing that if I did happen to lose control and actually cry in a public place that it wouldn't be so bad after all.***

I notice you use the words brainwash, I would use the word programming, you have, over the years programmed you mind that this is not the done thing, to cry in public. You allso use the words lose control, do you feel that if you cry, you are not in control? do you feel that people who cry are not in control of there emotions? I was tought to pick away at anxiety, to find out where it was coming from.

I do tend to still analize things, like the other day, I whatch King Kong, ohh love that film, it always makes me cry, when we cry, we cry for a reason, I know for me, I would start to try and re programme my mind, try whaching films that made me cry, ohh you know soppy films, those type that are sad, but with a good ending, feel good movies, mmmm, I know what your thinking, there not feel good if they make you cry, ohh but they are. Give myself good reason for crying, I am crying because??? and thats ok.

When I was acute, I was only making a cuppa in the house and I started to cry, hay, I had everyright to at the time, I was not well. its ok to cry.

From what I know with things we fear IS exposure therapy, with positive self thoughts, this is done over along period of time, ohhh boy, sometimes the progress is soo slow its not noticible and Mrs anx is at the ready to say, hhhaaayyy I told you so, but you don't listen to her, you keep going.

I am NOT saying cry all the time, do this over mothes, if you feel sh*t in the house and you feel like crying, CRY. Give yourself positive reasons and say, thats ok.

While your in the house and feeling ok, go over in your head the times in the shop when you felt this way, go over your thought pattens, think of positive self thoughts, think of positive ways you want to be thinking when this feeling comes on, this is why anxiety panic, IS DAME HARD, cos you have to work DAME HARD, but you allso have to take time out from working on panic anxiety. It takes alot of hard work and time to re programme your mind, (to stop, the atomatic response) You CAN do this in the house, re programme your mind, but you have to work dame hard on your thought pattens. As you know, its the fear of doing this, thats making it stay, you need to take the fear away, you need to find your positive pathways with this. so you can work on your thought pattens in the house, the way you want to think while out, this take along time and progress is slow, but it does work.

Soo, questions,

What is the worse that could happen if I did cry?

The thing with other peoples suggestions are, they are not your own, other peoples suggestions are dame hard to programme into your mind, I know for me, finding my own, helped soooo much, but with my panic, anxiety finding them in the begining was blinkin hard. I remember MEG, saying to me when I asked her, where do I start, she said, with small steps, pick away at your anxiety panic.

Writing things down helps, giving yourself lots of positive suggestion, not only with crying hun, with panic, anxietys.

Hun, DON'T underestmate what you can do, YOU CAN learn how to deal with this, but you must first believe you can, really believe.

You have had some great replies, its good to know your not alone and some of them are sooo funny, its great that people can laugh about there problems. laughter is a medicine, it makes us feel better, it is even possible to programme your mind to laugh about a symptoms which helps it go away.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

[eternally optimistic]

Hi Yvonne

I get that, well "used to", Id like to say.

I reckon its the thought of spending the money that bothers "US"!

At least you can see the funny side, that will help you through it.

I can remember one Christmas being in a store with my husband and he wandered for a milli second and I nearly keeled over looking for him -
wots that all about. That was before I Knew what was going on with my head..

Keep smiling and you WILL overcome it.

Try and do the Claire Weeks thing and "let it come" and not fight it. I think it has helped me the few times I have tried it.

Its just the anticipation of it arriving that freaks us out, I think.

Good luck

J

[The Fool]

i always panic is shops and stuff i hate waiting,i hate trying clothes on in those clostraphobic cubicles, and i usually cry and have mascara lines down my face so im worried i look stupid and i panic and cry again lol i try not to cry when i panic but i think for some people crying just gets it all out and then you feel better

[HeatherMc]

When I was little and used to go out and about with my nana, sometimes we'd bump into friends of hers and they would chat about what they'd watched on the telly or what books they'd read and some of them used to comment Oh I've watched .......... or read ................... I needed a good cry. I used to be totally bewildered by all this and used to think why do people want to make themself cry for, I guess this all makes sense now, sometimes I get a tremondous amount of relief from crying my eyes out.

Love Heather

[Yvonne]

Wow - I'm overwhelmed by such wonderful replies. Thank you all so so much xxxx

Yvonne