Sezzi
08-08-08, 01:39
Hi guys,
Just thought I'd drop a mesage and say hello having been loitering in the background of the forum for some time. I have suffered from severe health anxiety for 4 years, it goes in peaks and troughs, sometimes I can have months where I feel absolutely fine, then something happens to send me down the spiralling path where I seem to lose all control of my thoughts and feelings.
If I get a twinge in my back, it's my kidneys, if I get pins and needles, it's MS. A severe headache or strange sensation in my face is a stroke- you all know how it works and it drives me totally insane. To compound it I keep coming down with various minor ailments, ear infections etc, which only serve to compound my feelings that something dreadful is going to happen to me.
It doesnt seem to matter how many people reassure me or how often I see a doctor. Wthin an hour of getting home I've convinced myself they were wrong and that I've spotted something they haven't. Ridiculous considering they spend seven years training and know far more about the physiology of serious illnesses than I ever will.
So I'm trying something new now. My GP has referred me to a psychiatrist who is going to sort me out with some face to face CBT. My problem is that my thought process is so ingrained now I don't seem to be able to turn it off once it gets started. I don't live anymore, I just exist. Everything enjoyable is just going through the motions, because my anxiety is always there, I can't switch it off. I hate being like this because life is such a gift and I want to enjoy it to the full. I havea wonderful boyfriend and an incredible Mum, both of whom I love with all my heart and couldn't live without. It hurts them to see me so unhappy and I owe it to them as much as myself to get through this.
I'll keep you all updated on my progress- it's so good to know I'm not alone!
Sezzi x x x x
Just thought I'd drop a mesage and say hello having been loitering in the background of the forum for some time. I have suffered from severe health anxiety for 4 years, it goes in peaks and troughs, sometimes I can have months where I feel absolutely fine, then something happens to send me down the spiralling path where I seem to lose all control of my thoughts and feelings.
If I get a twinge in my back, it's my kidneys, if I get pins and needles, it's MS. A severe headache or strange sensation in my face is a stroke- you all know how it works and it drives me totally insane. To compound it I keep coming down with various minor ailments, ear infections etc, which only serve to compound my feelings that something dreadful is going to happen to me.
It doesnt seem to matter how many people reassure me or how often I see a doctor. Wthin an hour of getting home I've convinced myself they were wrong and that I've spotted something they haven't. Ridiculous considering they spend seven years training and know far more about the physiology of serious illnesses than I ever will.
So I'm trying something new now. My GP has referred me to a psychiatrist who is going to sort me out with some face to face CBT. My problem is that my thought process is so ingrained now I don't seem to be able to turn it off once it gets started. I don't live anymore, I just exist. Everything enjoyable is just going through the motions, because my anxiety is always there, I can't switch it off. I hate being like this because life is such a gift and I want to enjoy it to the full. I havea wonderful boyfriend and an incredible Mum, both of whom I love with all my heart and couldn't live without. It hurts them to see me so unhappy and I owe it to them as much as myself to get through this.
I'll keep you all updated on my progress- it's so good to know I'm not alone!
Sezzi x x x x