worried to get better!?!?

[LisaS]

hiya,

now things have really been improving for me (its been a month on my new AD's) I now am almost afraid to be happy.
I kind of get scared to be happy or admit to myself or anyone that i'm feeling better in case something goes wrong and i go back down. is that normal?
its like i have this little nasty imp on my shoulder saying, 'you're not going to get better' 'i'm going to keep on giving you bad negative thoughts your whole life' 'you'll never be free of this'...
dont get me wrong, i'm not hearing voices! its just i hear this every time I think something really good and positive.
Is this a normal process or have I become stuck at this point...?
thank you so much,
Lisa
xxx

[Meg]

Its completely normal to feel like this, just as it is completely normal to have some blips along the way.

I just give up! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2633)

Keep doing what you're doing..




Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Lisa

I used to be like this too. I remember the horrid dizziness seemed to almost go overnight and I then started waiting for it to come back thinking that it couldn't possibly have gone forever.

I even opened a bottle of Champagne that night and celebrated cos it had gone.

I too was scared to tell anyone that I felt better in case it came back and they got sick of me going on about it.

However, I think you should enjoy it whilst it is going well. Congratulate yourself and try to enjoy the good feelings that you have. You don't have to tell everyone just yet but just enjoy the feeling for yourself and make the most of it.

I hope it continues to get better for you.

Nicola

[kairen]

Hi Lisa,

good to hear your feeling better just go with it and enjoy it, i think we all thought like that, i was convinced i must have medication in my system cos i felt so good, and was waiting for it to wear off, but it didnt,
enjoy those happy thoughts xxx

kairen x

[Karen]

Hi Lisa

Good to hear you are feeling better.

We all have thoughts like these and when feeling a little better start to wonder whether it will last and worry about going back to square one again. You won't though because you have already learned so much to get you this far.

Just enjoy the fact that your are feeling better.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[carlin]

Hi Lisa,
Great to hear you are feeling better, these are just negative thoughts you are having, they will gradually become less and less, and so what if you have a bad day? everybody has one of those now and then, take things slowly and enjoy, you are entitled to be happy.

[seh1980]

Lisa - ignore the thoughts and keep making the progress that you have been making so well. We all get these doubts sometimes. Just try your best to ignore them. :D

[jill]

Hi Lisa,

Allthough I feel better sometimes I get that little imp on my shoulder, just ignore him and he will go away. It is normal and you have not become stuck.
I am sooo happy to hear that you are feeling better.

LOVE JILLXX

[sal]

Hi Lisa

I appreciate how you feel. You can wake up and have some great days and want to admit that we are miles ahead from what we have being but dont want to temp fate and it all come crashing down. But through experience i have learnt that if i feel a lot better and admit it the bad days are easier to bear as you remind yourself of how well you felt when you admitted how well it was going.

Takes time but you will get there and seem to be doing really well at the moment.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[mumof4]

Im glad u are feeling better im the sameway to ive been better for a few months now but i still wait for the panic attacks to come but they dont however they do try but i ignore them and they do go away.

[LisaS]

thank you so much everyone.
You dont know what a relief it is to hear that its normal. YOU are normal. (of course you know what a relief it is - you've been there too!)

I'm definately not as positive as i was yesterday but at least I recognise that. Infact i have just been very negative this afternoon and thinking that the positiveness is just masking the real negativeness that is lurking beneath that will always be there.. wow, that does sound negative!

I liked what someone said about you'll get more and more positive days.. and I will try and ignore that imp..
I truly wish that these illnesses were more recognised. For those who have not experienced it, have no understanding of how bl**dy difficult it is .. which must mean we must all be made of stronger stuff..

thank you thank you for telling me its a normal process on the road to recovery. I guess at your worst you are so afraid of going back there again, of course you are going to be afraid of it. The more time passes, the more likely you are to forget all the feelings that went with it.

sorry i'm just thinking aloud!
thanks again all,

Nicola - you must be an angel setting up this site..

Lisa
xxx

[seh1980]

hi Lisa,

Glad to hear that you are learning how to cope & coming to terms with things. Things can only get better now..

Sarah :D

[LisaS]

fingers crossed Sarah..

and sorry all, i do ramble a lot..

[sal]

Hi Lisa

If the worst happened and you did go back there, from where you are now dont forget you could do it all over again and get out of it, thats how i look at it. Beaten the hardest times and if i go back i will again, just like you will.

Just remember what you have learnt on the road to recovery now and you wont let it happen again and the warning signs are there if we have a bad day and even if we dont cope with bad days we know that we can get through them.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[machinaexdeus]

HI lisa,
yeah, i'm also recovering from my worst moments- i say moments, about 5 years of my life were massacred by panic/depression. In a sense, the intermittent episodes I get are far more terrifying than the prolonged eras of lassitude and inactivity. That clear headed exhiliration when it lifts for a couple of hours, then a day then a month... it is like a drug enhanced experience...but when the anxiety returns, it can be devastating.
And yet, the scariest thing is that you get almost nostalgic for the bad days, the days of doing nothing, having no responsibilities or interaction with the world. This is terrifying- I almost want to be as sick as I was. But there's no way its going to happen to me again. I was strong enough to pick myself up from the dungheap, and Ill be strong enoough to stay out of it- the memory of the stench should help!! And im now more self-aware- i recognise the symptoms and try not to passively accept their destructive influence. Great to here a success story- good luck!

Nolite te *******es carborundorum

[nomorepanic]

Hi machinaexdeus

Just waned to welcome you aboard the forum too. Good to see you here.

Nicola

[machinaexdeus]

Hi,
thanks for the welcome. I've been using this fantastic site for about half a year, its a great resource and you guys deserve a lot of credit.. I guess i started posting because ive been pretty stressed recently, and sometimes offering advice to others is an effective way of further understanding your own problems.... if that makes any sense. There's so much feeling and shared experience here that whenever I feel alone and disorietated, I know I can turn to this place for help.

Nolite te *******es carborundorum