Just feel rubbish how can I be more positive?

[phil06]

For the last few months I've just felt a bit bleek on things not sure what I want of where I am going.

I'm 19 but 20 soon and just feel not great about being single ages. I feel I duno what I want in a relationship as I've been single that long and it's just made me extra fussy. I just feel hollow to the whole dating scene right now.

I feel sick of it and I know the anxiety has played a part on it as I get horrible thoughts which make me feel crap. I've heard people go through phases where they are single and can't be bothered and I have also heard anxiey can't control who you are as a person but I just can't accept it. Has anybody else experienced this? When the thoughts come on they feel real. I feel bad as about a year ago I was happy in a relationship with my ex g.f (at my peak) and had a job. I have good things now like I have better friends but I just feel a gap missing since I became single. I have started to believe anxiety will now define me as a person and these thoughts will become me.

I know there are some good posts on worrying thoughts on here but can't seem to find them now. I just feel my situation is unique and people say nobody has worries like mine which makes me think all the more that something is wrong. I dunno but the worrying thoughts seem more real day by day even mixed in with dreams and I am obsessed by checking.

I can't get the HOCD thought out my head this fear of turning gay even though I find it horrible and want rid of it I had the same with manic depression for a year and a half. I just can't seem to see a clear picture of the future right now. I also get quite a few of the obsessional thoughts from the symptoms page. How can I deal with this? I have had theropy but I'm positive there are ways to beat it but I can't seem to accept this is anxiety causing thoughts. When these thoughts come on i think I am not well or turning into something I'm not just because these thoughts come to my mind. I refuse to accept any of this as me and know it's anxiety.

I have things I'd like to do like send away for a provisional but live in fear of sending away for it. Even a simple task like making a roll for work would go on the bin as I fear it will go out of date so anxiety is soo controlling. How can I make myself feel better and more positive and realise this is anxiety? Even to talk about it I think it sounds silly.

[gtrgrl3369]

You do not sound silly at all. We all have our issues. Mine is severe OCD. I know what those thoughts can do to you, but remeber they are only thoughts. They have no real value in your life. Quit trying to fight them as it will only make it worse. When you get a thought that disturbs you think to yourself, will this hurt me ,has it ever before? What is the benefit of this thought? Does it have any true value to it? You will find that the answers to all of them are no. You can also give yourself a positive thought for every negative one. I always make jokes of mine by thinking, " it figures this would come into my head, wow wouldnt that be fun," never let them control you,they are only thoughts and are there to make you doubt yourself, which you are doing. Take care honey and remember your mind can play powerful tricks on you,play back. :shades:

[breakingoutthistime]

Its interesting the way u put checking things cause that is what I do constantly in a way its like OCD but there are ways to switch it off just engage in something that takes focus off it.
Also the advice above is brillant especially trying to fight thoughts and feelings as that is defintatly going to make u feel crap.
Just let them go exercise read an book game anything get some sort of meaning in life and things will become easier dont become negative try moodgym if it helps

Google moodgym

Take it easy