I'm New

[Cheekyone]

Hi, I'm Ros a thirty year old female living in lovely Loughborough in England. I've been agoraphobic and suffered from a panic disorder for about 15 years. I can pretty much go out and do what i want so long as my Mum is with me, but alone i don't venture more than about 100 metres from my home, which is pretty limiting socially. I also hate being on my own and find I can't stay at home alone unless i know my mum is close by and can be reached any time. I've tried most things to combat the problems including taking seroxat for 9 years ( definitely not an experience i want to repeat), several attempts at CBT which were largely unsucessful for me, counselling and more recently Jungian psychotherapy and lots and lots of self help books! I've not been terribly up front with friends and family about the extent of my problems and have lived largely covering my tracks and being seen as awkward and not terribly sociable ( well ok that might actually be true but not the whole story!!!) Having reached the ripe old age of 30 I've gradually become to care far less what people think and have found over the years that most people are screwed up in one way or another, so I may as well just come clean about who I really am and start enjoying being me. I guess you could say that joining this forum is one way for me to come out of the closet. I've also found that having this condition for the number of years I have, that my friendship group has become rather depleted and I'm keen to make friends with people who just might not think I'm a freak ( although when you get to know me you're allowed to think I am, for reasons that have nothing to do with agoraphobia:blush: ) So to any one out there who could use another friend, give me a shot :) I also have a degree in psychology and human communication and have worked in this area for a while, mainly with kids and adolescents. I've read a lot and have an interest in all things psychological and if any of my musings, skills and endless reading can be useful to anyone else I'll be happy to share! I have loads of time to help seeing as I can no longer work! And that leads me to having lots of experience of dealing with the incapacity benefit people too, if that helps anyone else. I'm at the stage of my life now where me and my husband are thinking of starting a family, so I'd be really keen to hear from anyone who has experience of being a parent whilst dealing with the restrictions of life with agoraphobia. I look forward to getting to know you all.

[titchjd]

hi and welcome 2 NMP and coming out of the closet x
im 35 and have panic disorder for years and agoraphobia ....the agoraphobia has only just started over passed 6 weeks so Im currently off work ....I have a daughter and find it hard 2 do anything with her which makes me feel guilty .

I have read many books and done many courses but still cant put in to practice what im supposed 2 ....thats whats annoying me the most ...I have all the knowledge but still panic xx

are you on meds now

[Cheekyone]

Hiya, thanks for the nice friendly welcome :) No I'm oficially drug free now and have no plans to take any more. Although that said if they hadn't given me drugs all those years ago i doubt I'd be here to be discussing anything, so I'm not anti drugs, i just think they can cause as many problems as they solve.

Don't know if it will help and i usually avoid rubbish platitudes, but guilt won't help. Your doing the best you can with the person you are now! I quote directly from a self help book :P And kids always think their parents are great, so i'm sure yours will adore you even if you can't do as much as you wish you could with her.

I'm very much like you I have read the books and know the theory but the reality seems a bit different! At the moment I'm just trying to adopt this insanely positive attitude and bizarrely it's working and things don't seem so bleak!

[nursey4]

Wow! Did I just write that! Just kidding. It's just that we sound so much alike. I too, at the ripe old age of 30, feel pretty comfortable as long as I am with or can get in touch with my mom. My mom does not enjoy being my "safe person" and I do not enjoy needing one. I am holding back calling her as I write this to beg her not to go golfing today as I have been having chest pains and am scared it's a precursor to a heart attack. I know it will only stress her out and cause her to get annoyed with me. I have had periods of severe agoraphobia where I hardly leave the house, like right now, but for the majority of the time, I live with chronic anxiety but can live a semblance of a normal life (work, go out with friends, etc.) Unfortunately, I cannot travel, something I used to love doing, and have not been out of the province since I got this disorder 6 years ago. My husband and I have also been thinking of starting a family but I am scared pregnancy would make me crazy as I am always worse before my period- I feel controlled by hormones at times! I also want some time of being mentally and physically well before we do this. My mom had anxiety and agora pretty much all my life and I think it severely affected me. My sister does not have this though, so it's weird...
Anyways, sorry to hijack your thread. Just wanted to say welcome and I can totally relate.
Cheers

[leonard]

Hi ceekyone,
Welcome to NMP.
I have 3 daughters and One son. I have had Agoraphobia, depression and anxiety. I have only told people on this site. Like you I keep it from friends and family. Perhaps I should take a leaf out of your book and tell them, as I feel embarassed being a man!
Leonard

[Cheekyone]

nursey thank you so much for replying! I've never met anyone else who has a 'safe person' and i practically cried with relief to find someone who is in the same situation as me. If you want to stay in touch i'd love to, but i have no idea how you go about exchanging email addies or messenger details on here

[titchjd]

Hiya ...I think u would be very surprised at how many people with agoraphobia has a safe person ... I cant go out but if my mom came with me I wud be ok or some kind of safe object eg takin mobile everywhere or having water when u go anywhere i panic if i havent got my phone or if I have 2 go 2 docs I have 2 take a bottle of water ......my counsellor says they are my comforters and I must learn 2 do things with out them .....sounds silly doesnt it xxx

[Jaco45er]

that most people are screwed up in one way or another

That did make me chuckle :)

Hi and welcome

Jaco

[nursey4]

Cheeky- I don't know how to PM on this site either. Does anyone else?

[Cheekyone]

Leonard just do it, as Nike once said :) I actually find that when you tell people they're interested for about 2 minutes and then the convo moves on and most people largely forget you ever told them! But it does make life so much less awkward. And in the 21st century men are allowed to have feelings too, take advantage of it :)

[Cheekyone]

Jaco if i made you chuckle my day has been worth while :)

[Cheekyone]

Any one notice that I'm getting a bit too generous with the smiley faces? How annoying is that? I'll quit it!

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Ros,

Welcome to NMP. Many here will understand how you have been feeling and you will get support. Glad you are here.

Take care,

Laura

ps

One way to private message someone is to click on their name and one option is to private message and you go right to that area. Another way is to click private message which is located in the upper left hand corner under Welcome which is above your name. Hope this helps.

[Jay1979]

Hi and welcome :)

I too have a safe person my mum :winks: I know it can be really annoying for her but she's really supportive and im sure my friends think im crazy when I take her to toddler group etc :blush: .. but thats what I need so stuff what they think !!:shades:

[lorac]

Helly Cheekyone

Welcome to the site I am sure you will meet many good people on here and get lots of good advice and support.

Take care

Carol

[nomorepanic]

Hi Ros

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

[milly jones]

Hi hun

a warm nmp welcome to u

hope that u gain as much support and help here as i do

love milly xxxx