Dealing with my issues

[Sue K with 5]

Hi Everyone


I have written a letter to my father because he has made life extremely difficult for me recently over problems i am having with my 14 year old son, and I am reluctant to send it to him, because I know that it will end our relationship, and although my guilt tells me its not what i want to do I know it is the only way I will ever get over the emotional hell he has dealt me in my life

I have attached the letter and i was wondering if you could read it and give me your opinions!! I have gained such inspiration from you all since being on the chat room and I know you all have a good insight


Thank you and apologies in advance for the lengthy letter



Sue K ( With the five kids )


http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/lounge/images/icon_zip.gif Attachment: So I need councelling do I.zip (pop_download.asp?mode=Edit&referrer=attach&dir=susan Knight&file=So I need councelling do I.zip) ( 4340bytes )

scknight

[lainey]

Hi Sue

I'm sure you feel better for writing that letter don't you eh!
I don't know what to say as to whether you should send it but after reading the letter I think you know what you need to do yourself.
I'm glad you have had inspiration from this site, me too, it's a wonderful place to come too when you are feeling down or anxious.

Hope you get it sorted

Take care

Elaine x

[sal]

Hi Susan

I have read your letter a few times and you have definately covered how you are feeling.

You can only decide how you feel about sending the letter, but if you feel as strong as it comes across in the letter and you feel you will gain and not lose from this, then i would go with your instinct.

You have had a lot of losses and you have addressed them very well and we will support you all the way.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[seh1980]

wow Sue - what a letter!! Very well written I think!! sometimes we write letters and thinks to ourselves "I have it off my chest now and that's enough." other times after we have written it, we feel that we still need to send it. If you still feel this way, then go ahead and send it. Some people need to be told these things..:D

[kimmy]

wow, what an amazing letter all i can say is "GO GIRL" your an amzing woman, i wish i could have the guts to say a few home truths as you have. well done:)

[Meg]

Susan,

Its certainly a great letter to have written and you've expressed it well..

As you asked for opinions ...

IMHO - Ensure you can get the injunction before telling him about it as if you can't get it, that's yet something else he can use against you either directly or via the children.

Are your prepared for any consequences of this letter which could range from him either being cold as ice and never responding or he causing as much active hassle as possible or indeed the letter coming as such a shock to him that he might collapse if he's elderly and infirm..

I'm not trying to put you off sending it at all- just bear in mind that there iis a consequence for every action.

Otherwise - if it still reads well in the bright light of day - Royal Mail it

All the very best for whatever you decide to do.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[kairen]

Hi Susan,

I have read your letter, and if you decide to send it or not im sure it has done you the world off good writing it down and getting it all off yr chest,

have you thought of showing wendy before you send it,

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.



kairen x

[mom22]

Hi Sue with the Five Kids!

I read the letter too and after chatting with you last night about the possibility of getting a lawyer to help you with your current problem, I'm concerned about the letter hindering your immediate goal which is to get your son back. These types of letters are really cleansing for our souls but sometimes can come back to bite us when we least expect it. From what I read, I somehow get the feeling he wouldn't hesitate to use it to fuel his own fire. Would it be a good idea to sit on it for a while, and channel your energies into getting back with your son? I just don't want you to regret it. Having said that, if at the end of the day you decide to send it, I hope it bring you the peace you deserve and like the others, I'll support you in your decision.

All the best,

Sue

[sal]

Hi Sue

You have had some great replies to your letter.

Have you decided if you are going to send it or are you going to take some more time so you know you are doing the right thing.

Best of luck either way, i think you are being very brave confronting so many major issues that have happened in your life.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[nomorepanic]

Hi Sue

I read the letter too. I am most impressed how you managed to get that inserted on here - I didn't even know we could do that so you taught me something!!

The letter was obviously written from the heart and when you were very angry at him. I think you should leave it a few days, re-read it and then decide whether you want to send it still. Good luck with whatever you do.

Nicola

[Sue K with 5]

Thank you all so much for your replies to my letter, I am so grateful to you all for taking the time to read it, Well I sent the letter!!!

I had to do it, because I know it is the only way I will ever get across to him exactly what I feel, he has never let me express myself, and I felt that this was the right thing to do.

I have to let go and move forward and I actually believe this is the way forward.

I have a family of my own to think of and they need me as sane as I can possibly be, and letting go of my past is the only way I can achieve that

Thank you so very much



Sue xxxxx with the five children

scknight

[seh1980]

Glad you made your decision Susan - I hope it all works out for you!! :D

[mom22]

You sound like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. Good job on figuring out what was best for you!

Hope everything works out for you...

Sue (with only 2 kids!)

[Meg]

Hi Susan,

Glad it stills feels right to have sent in .

Onwards and upwards for you now ......... All best wishes.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Karen]

Hi Sue

Glad making the decision felt right to you. Hope this helps you move on.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.