new guy, very stressed

[bluegreen]

Hey there

Been going through a really tough time recently. Past few months I've felt so lost. I've got loads of worries, debt mostly, I'm really in debt, and things are getting on top of me. I never seem to be at peace with myself. I'm not happy with who I am. I'm tearful, anxious all the time, and right now I'm just so panicky.

I can't ever relax, can't ever concentrate. I've had this all my life but right now is so stressful and it's getting on top of me. I remember when I was younger, episodes where I felt so disconnected from everything, like my head was wrapped in cellophane, like things weren't real. I didn't know what was happening but I always had backup. Now I don't and I can't see myself getting out of this debt and having a normal life.

I so, so want to be normal, I so want to be in control. I want to be able to sleep, to relax, to know where I'm going and what my big plan is.

I'm here to try and get some help. I need to find a way out of this.

[kendo59]

I'm in the same boat, mate.

This might sound obvious, but have you sat down with a pen & paper, and tried to work out a budget? Saving a quid here and a couple of quid there, can all add up. Prioritize your bills? Cut back where you can. Make inexpensive but nutritious cooked meals (tuna pasta, chicken rice), buy the BOGOF deals (Buy One Get One Free), Get rid of the landline phone and TV? Cycle instead of driving, etc.

Also, as others have advised before, the Citizens Advice Bureau might give some advice.

[titchjd]

Hiya and welcum 2 NMP ...i 2 am in debt which just adds 2 my anxiety .
have u seen any1 about how u feel or about your debts .

u will get loads of help and support on here m8

dont set big plans yet take it 1 step at atime and you can get there .
we are here 2 help x

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:


:welcome: to the site

It seems, from what you have written, your biggest problem is your debt, as it has been adviced, YOU NEED to address this and talk to someone. If you make positive pathways forward in dealing with this, ( citizens advice, which has allready been advice) this will take some of the presure off you.

I am sorry to hear you have had this all your life and the rough time you are having right now, My heart goes out to you, :hugs:

Hun, what help have you had for your anxietys?

It is hard to be at peace with yourself with this debt hanging over you, please hun, talk to somone.

They are great on hear, they will help and support you as much as they can,

You hang in there hun,

TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

[bluegreen]

Hi there, thanks for your welcomes guys, good to meet you all. Yeah there's a lot of other stuff going on, but for sure the debts overhang it all. I have taken some steps to work on it but I need to do more. I'm going to speak to people soon, make a debt plan and get a second job.

It is a bit of a vicious circle though. I find that I go through ups and downs, at the start of the month I'm not as worried so I'll spend. Not loads like, I don't splurg on big things, just don't watch it as much, so when the end of the month (or the middle!) come around I'm skint again. I've been like this for a long time really, I find saving really difficult. Being debt free wouldn't sort out all my problems, but it would be such a weight off my mind!

For the anxiety, well I saw the doctor a while back. He gave me some pills to help me sleep. These worked, but they did affect me the day after as well so I don't see them as long term at all. I'd done my research and talked about CBT, and he said he'd put me on a waiting list for that. I've heard nothing since though and that was a few months ago. I guess I need to go back and find out what's happening there.

The anxiety is a vicious circle as well. I'm stressed during the day, so I stay up late trying to chill out at night, drink a few beers. So, I'm tired the next day which equals more stress. That makes work difficult, which is more stressful still. This really has been going on a long time.

I feel like there's so much to deal with. My thoughts snowball and I find it so difficult to concentrate. I make plans but I can't stick to them for long.

I know I have to be strong, that I'm the only person who can deal with this. I know I have to change. I'm fed up, really fed up with feeling bad all the time!

[jill]

Hi hun :D:hugs:

It is sooo easy, to get into that vicious circle and fall into bad habits hun, we try to change, because we want to soo much, but we fall back to what we feel confortable doing, even though, we know, it's not good for us. Change is DAME hard, it is going out of way to do something, to change habits and in no way is this easy to do. When we are acute, we fear change and the challange that lies ahead.

Hun, you have made the first step, by going to your gp, asking for CBT, could you give them a ring and chase this up, see how far you are on the list?

As for the debt, it is good to hear you are going to speak to someone, I wish you luck with that hun, hope all goes well. You say you may get anther job, mmm this is only my oppinion hun, is this possible, what hours are you doing now,? please don't push yourself to hard, only YOU know yourself, please try and get to know your limits hun.

***The anxiety is a vicious circle as well. I'm stressed during the day, so I stay up late trying to chill out at night, drink a few beers. So, I'm tired the next day which equals more stress. That makes work difficult, which is more stressful still. This really has been going on a long time.***

When we are acute, there are many ways in which we can help ourselves, we don't have to make big change in the begining to make a difference. I know for me, knowing and understand, just how much sleep I needed was important, I could have to much, but also, I could have to little, both of these made my anx worse next day, so finding that balance was hard. So this is something you could work on.

Hun, I know you need to chill out, but sometimes what we are using to chill out with is not working (beers, alcahol) I know that a few scups, ohh boy, relaxes me, but, when I was acute, I had to cut it out all together, NOT forever, I told myself, just for now, just untill I could get my head around what was going on with my mind and body. I found other ways of chilling, using relaxation cd's, movies, reading a books, going for a short walk, even sometime excerses helped. Try to learn how to relax, without using the using alcahol as a tool. There is some great info on here about this.

**I feel like there's so much to deal with. My thoughts snowball and I find it so difficult to concentrate. I make plans but I can't stick to them for long**

Everyone on hear understands how this feel hun, but please take one step, one day at a time. Write down small goals, little things that you can change, go slow hun, you will get there in the end.

You will find, when your small goels are met, you achieve small things, your spirit will lift, BUT hun, Mrs anx is sitting next to you right now and you have to work really hard to get what you want, you ARE allready making progress by planing positive pathways forward to deal with your debt and getting help from your gp and awaiting cbt, be pround of yourself hun :hugs:

**I know I have to be strong, that I'm the only person who can deal with this. I know I have to change.**

YOU ARE strong hun :hugs:you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, your streagth gets stronger evertime you have to deal with this illness, it is true, that the one person who can help you the most, IS YOURSELF, but hun, you DON'T have to go through this alone, we are all hear to help and support you.



Please keep posting, keep venting, it helps to talk.

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILLXXX

[Yvonne]

bluegreen

I sympathise I really do - debts plus other worries which you haven't mentioned. I have come to the conclusion myself that Life is definitely not a bowl of cherries!

Anyway, I'm not going to talk about your debts whichI know are the main problem but I was concerned at the way you describe your mood in general.

The constant anxiety and the crying episodes and not relaxing must be addressed. While you are in such a badly stressed state of mind y ou are not going to be able to think straight about how to tackle your debts and other problems.

I really feel that you must speak to the gp soon. CBT is an option yes but you will probably have to wait a few months to get it. You need help now to help how you are feeling. Please go to the gp and tell him/her how bad you are and maybe he can suggest an anti depressant which would help you to actually feel better. The not sleeping and the constant worry will make you feel worse and worse so I do think that you need some help.

Take care mate.

Yvonne

[kendo59]

I echo this:

I'm stressed during the day, so I stay up late trying to chill out at night, So I'm tired the next day which equals more stress.