Not liking myself at all

[Vinny]

I feel so low today and need some reassurance please.
I took my 23 yr old daughter out at the weekend and bumped into some people I know. I didn't introduce her as my daughter and I feel so, so bad about it now. The reason I didn't is becuase she's put on a lot of weight recently and I felt a little bit embarrased about it. What kind of Mum does that make me??? I love her with all my heart, she is the most gorgeous, lovely daughter I could ever wish for so why did I feel the need to be embarrased? She didn't even notice but I am really beating myself up about it now. I feel so guilty and hate myself for being so selfish and feel I will be punished for being so shallow!!! Once I get these worries in my head I can't seem to get rid of them. I'm going to see a ENT consultant tomorrow about a HA I have about my throat. I know deep down that's the reason I feel down and I have this clever way of transferring one worry to another.
I know I've done wrong by my daughter but if you knew me you would see what a caring, loving Mum I am but right this minute I feel like the worse Mum in the world and am struggling not to cry about it. Please could someone tell me I'm not a bad person:weep:

[lorac]

Hi Vinny

Don't beat yourself up about this, it is obvious from your post that you are a really caring mum and you love your daughter very much so try not to be so hard on yourself. Anxiety makes us do and think all sorts of things that are really not within our character.

Sometimes when my anxiety is bad I do and say very hurtful things to people and I really don't mean to I just get frustrated with life and like you said we transfer our worries on to other things.

Try and forget yesterday and just accept it as part of your anxiety and give your daughter a really big hug coz you really do love her not matter what.

Take care Vinny

Carol
x

[LeeBee]

You're not a bad person (-:
Sounds like you may have some self esteem issues that you're projecting onto your daughter? It shouldn't matter so much to you what other people think of her weight. I'm sure you love her and are proud of her :).
Could it be that you're having "intrusive" thoughts - the more you try not to think it the more you think it? This doesn't make you a bad person, just an anxious one. Plenty of those in here :).

[Vinny]

Thank you so much Carol & LeeBee for your replies.

I love my daughter more than life itself and would never want to upset her.

You have both made me feel a whole lot better about myself. It's really weird how HA can affect us in so many different ways.

Take Care x

[yorkylover]

I totally agree with the other's here,forget what has happened and as you said your daughter didn't notice anything so no one was hurt.

You do sound like a good mother and a caring mother,dont worry what other people think.

Are you worrying about your daughter's weight for health reason's?could this be playing on your mind?

Anxiety does do lots of thing's to our thought's,just forget yesterday that's in the past now.:bighug1:

[RosieXXX]

Hi Vinny,

Don't worry - we all say or don't say the things we should - none of us are perfect. I agree with the previous posts when we have anxieties going on we do not always behave true to character. Of course you love your daughter, and what happened this morning doesn't prove otherwise. As a Mother I know I have made mistakes too - don't worry let it go.

[Vinny]

Thank you so, so much for your replies. I just feel so sad that I was embarrased about my daughter (it feels as though I was ashamed...how bad is that?). I'm just not like that though and that's why I'm struggling to let it go. I love her so much and feel as though I've let her down (although it all went completely over the top of her head, she didn't notice a thing, thank goodness).

I am a kind loving person but feel so dreadful about myself today.

x

[Alisonj]

Dont feel bad. Like the others said no one is perfect by far. Upwards and onwards.

[kellie]

Try not to feel bad Vinny
We have all done or said things we wish we hadnt
You know you didnt mean it and love your daughter loads

[Vinny]

Thank you Kelly. Everyone on here is so lovely and have made me feel so much better about myself.

Take Care x