hi all - my feeling today

[bab]

:weep: I am beginning (actually been thinking for a while) is this as good as it gets? I have 1 good week, 1 ok week then 2 horrible ones where I cant do anything. Its not a self fulfilling prophecy as when I have the good week I totally forget about the horrid ones so its always a surprise when they appear for some reason.

I also feel that since going on tablets I am regressing intellectually, I forget things I used to know, I ask questions that a child would ask etc. I feel that I dont have my wits about me and thats why I worry so much about driving, im oblivious. My anxiety is slightly going down but I feel terribly unsociable - I cant be bothered seeing or speaking to anyone whereas when I was so worried I would like anyones company just so I wasnt alone. Also if it makes sense, I feel so sleepy and lethargic, yet slightly hyper.. really hard to explain. I wish someone could put me to sleep, take out my brain - fix it, then wake me up again.

[emma1976]

Hi Bab,

I know you feel awful right now but have hope. You have 1 good week - that's fantastic! Try to remember that feeling, and trust in the facts - you can and will feel better.

Have you read the sticky post on the General Anxiety forum page? For me, it seemed to cover all the points. And when I went through it carefully, I know I'm not doing all I can to help myself.

It would sound like you need to talk to your doctor about your medication if you've not done so already but it can take a while for them to settle down when you change.

I find that my memory goes on me when I'm worrying all the time because 99% of my brain power is worrying and only 1% is focusing on the here and now! This could well be the same with you.

I think you need more relaxation in your schedule? And then you will have the strength physically and mentally to cope.

Emma

[mrk25]

Hi Bab

I'm the same at the moment, but mine is 5 reasonable days then 2 horrible ones, unfortunately the bad ones seem to be easier to recall rather than the good ones. I have to agree with Emma on the memory side, if I close my eyes when I'm worrying or anxious its like looking at hundreds of TV's all showing different images so the memory takes a bit of a back seat. Hang in there the good weeks will get longer and the bad one shorter.

Mark

[pooh]

HI Bab

ma wee poppet lol
Do you feel these weeks are related to your hormone cycle? I used to say that to my doc all the time because i have about two or three days a month where i have always been anx free long before i started taking meds too.

What meds you on and when did you start? this can be a contributing factor to that up and down cycle of things too for a good long while till you level out

As for the memory...sorry what was i typing there? lol

Pooh xxxxx

[Nechtan]

I can relate to that. Personally I think when we are having a good day, or days, we begin to let our guard down and then get caught unaware. That's how it has been for me. Some of my worst experiences have come out of nowhere when I have been doing well and as relaxed as I can be. In this way I think our reaction to any setback is more severe too.

All the best
Nechtan

[kellyw]

hi bab,
i was gonna ask the same thing as pooh, do you think this could relate to your menstrual cycle? the reason i ask is that in the last 6 months i have been having bad pmt sometimes for 10 days before my period but even worse is i have dreadful brain fog and memory problems directly after my period that can last also for 10 days, up to ovulation. if you do the maths that means i also have about a week when i feel normalish!!
keep a diary honey i use a site that tracks your periods and you can keep a list of your symptoms on a daily basis. its worth a try, at least if you are writing them down you will be able to look back and see if these symptoms are following a pattern.
i just wanted you to know that i totally totally understand what you mean its like being trapped inside your own self. i got so scared a while back i actually thought i had early onset dementia!!
i have just started taking a supplement from superdrug called well woman, its got magnesium nad all the b vitamins and other stuff and i hvae to say that it seems to be helping me a bit i dont feel so confused, also its on offer at the moment so maybe worth trying for you too.
i hope you are feeling a bit better
take good care
love kelly xx

[emma1976]

Nechtan,

I can relate to you there, you think all is fine and then BAM, the anxiety creeps up on you like it's the first time all over again!

The key is knowing it has no importance - to resist the habitual and instinctive pattern of grabbing onto the fear and fearing it!

I try at least!

[caz303]

Nechtan,

I can relate to you there, you think all is fine and then BAM, the anxiety creeps up on you like it's the first time all over again!

The key is knowing it has no importance - to resist the habitual and instinctive pattern of grabbing onto the fear and fearing it!

I try at least!

I'm now trying so hard to practise this but, god, it's hard isn't it?:ohmy: I'm getting out of bed almost as soon as I'm awake (unless it's ridiculously early) otherwise I do lay there testing my body.

I'd been fine for 2 months before BAM, as you say, it came back and knocked me off my feet. I take meds but have started to feel like I may have to live with this so need to try and find ways and means!!

[emma1976]

It's such a paradox. In order to feel better we need to not feel afraid of the most frightening thing that's ever happened to us in our lives!

I see that anxious people tend to worry unnecessarily, people like myself.

We can relax, we can be courageous - but we need to take steps in believing in ourself.

Have you had counseling Caz?

[caz303]

It's such a paradox. In order to feel better we need to not feel afraid of the most frightening thing that's ever happened to us in our lives!

I see that anxious people tend to worry unnecessarily, people like myself.

We can relax, we can be courageous - but we need to take steps in believing in ourself.

Have you had counseling Caz?

Yes, just finished 7 weeks worth at our surgery and am now hoping to have some sessions with a CPN.

I've been out today .. didn't want to go but it was OK :D and I've been telling myself 'its of no importance' all day :flowers: Thank y ou :hugs:

[bab]

thanks so much for your replies you are all so lovely.. i would just like to not be scared for 1 day and do really wacky things like... going to the supermarket or driving round round the corner - what a bleedin dare devil I am.. when i feel ok im worried that my drink been spiked as i feel ok and when i dont feel ok i worry because thats me.