Patrick S
18-08-08, 20:28
Hi all. My name is Patrick. I'm 28 and live in London. I work in the television and film industry. I had my first panic attack about six years ago while out with family for breakfast. I had been in relationship for a year and half and my obsessing over it forced me to go to the toilet, where I started hyper-ventilating, and dry-wretching from the nausea. My temperature also rose and I was pacing backwards and forwards for a time. Eventually it subsided and I went back to the family, unable to eat.
Nothing happened until about 2 months ago. While watching Iron Man in the cinema with my partner, I felt an acute sensation in my chest, a pain, fast heartbeat. My vision started blurring. My temperature rose. I started shaking. I honestly thought I was dying. I got up and excused my self and went to the toilet. I splashed water on my face and tried breathing slowly. Eventually I went into a cubicle and propped myself up on the toilet seat and became resided that I was going to die in the toilet of a cinema. After twenty minutes it passed and I went back in. When I got home the only way I could get rid of the nausea was to make myself sick. I got into bed and slept for an hour. After that I felt fine.
Fearing it was my heart, I have had a full ECG (think, that's what it was called; treadmill and sensors on the chest?) They said I was fine. The next time I felt myself having a panic attack in the cinema (a month later) I calmed myself down with the thought that my heart was fine, and this was my job to be in a cinema.
I have fallen quite hard for a female friend of both mine and my girlfriend and think that she feels the same. Even the mention of the ramifications of what might have to happen because of this, has had me nauseous for a couple of days. Today I had a panic attack at work. Extreme Nauseousness, blurred vision, I felt totally trapped and claustrophobic (I have a (25x35 ft office to myself!) I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. It's one of my biggest fears to go mad. I tried talking to a department head (a friend thankfully) i couldn't make sense of what was going on. I went and laydown in a dark store cupboard for half an hour before leaving.
I'm going to control this. Reading about other peoples experiences, even that it's common to feel like you're having a nervous breakdown has helped me. I still get the shakes when I think about my relationship, which is struggling. My feelings for this other girl is also not helping things.
Anyway sorry for the essay, thanks for reading it. And I'll see you all on
the forums.
Patrick
Nothing happened until about 2 months ago. While watching Iron Man in the cinema with my partner, I felt an acute sensation in my chest, a pain, fast heartbeat. My vision started blurring. My temperature rose. I started shaking. I honestly thought I was dying. I got up and excused my self and went to the toilet. I splashed water on my face and tried breathing slowly. Eventually I went into a cubicle and propped myself up on the toilet seat and became resided that I was going to die in the toilet of a cinema. After twenty minutes it passed and I went back in. When I got home the only way I could get rid of the nausea was to make myself sick. I got into bed and slept for an hour. After that I felt fine.
Fearing it was my heart, I have had a full ECG (think, that's what it was called; treadmill and sensors on the chest?) They said I was fine. The next time I felt myself having a panic attack in the cinema (a month later) I calmed myself down with the thought that my heart was fine, and this was my job to be in a cinema.
I have fallen quite hard for a female friend of both mine and my girlfriend and think that she feels the same. Even the mention of the ramifications of what might have to happen because of this, has had me nauseous for a couple of days. Today I had a panic attack at work. Extreme Nauseousness, blurred vision, I felt totally trapped and claustrophobic (I have a (25x35 ft office to myself!) I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. It's one of my biggest fears to go mad. I tried talking to a department head (a friend thankfully) i couldn't make sense of what was going on. I went and laydown in a dark store cupboard for half an hour before leaving.
I'm going to control this. Reading about other peoples experiences, even that it's common to feel like you're having a nervous breakdown has helped me. I still get the shakes when I think about my relationship, which is struggling. My feelings for this other girl is also not helping things.
Anyway sorry for the essay, thanks for reading it. And I'll see you all on
the forums.
Patrick