ladybird64
19-08-08, 22:15
Not sure whether to post this in Panic Attacks or here..I think here might be more appropriate.
As I have mentioned in other posts, I'm agoraphobic and suffer from Panic Attacks, I also had to make quite a difficult journey on Sunday.
I have been reading Claire Weekes and even stuck the book in my bag for to remind myself what I needed to do as I have a real problem differentiating between accepting and fighting a panic attack. By the time I got off the bus I was very relaxed, almost sleepy and ready to float. :) Anyway, I managed quite well on my outward journey (even walked THROUGH a very crowded Trafalgar Square :ohmy: ) without turning into a jelly. I'm not sure if I fought it or accepted it but I did ok.
Unfortunately, the purpose of my journey wasn't a pleasant one but I had prepared myself for the fact that it would be difficult. However, I wasn't prepared for the fact that everything that could go wrong did so and in a big way, I was angry and upset but managed to deal with things. The journey home was reasonable considering how hyped I was, I did have the start of a big panic when I hit central London again but by this time all thoughts of acceptance had gone out of the window and I jumped on the first bus that came along.
I was still feeling angry when I got home but didn't give it too much of my time and I settled down to watch telly and went to bed at my normal time.
I woke up at 4am with my mind playing flashbacks of the previous day and a whole heap of terrible and depressing thoughts slamming into my brain which i just couldn't control. 2hrs later, I just started sobbing and wailing I had no control over that either, this was something else, it felt like my heart was breaking.
It went on for 2 hours with my poor hubby trying to comfort me before I dragged myself out of bed and tried to get on with a normal routine, I know the worst thing to do is nothing at all.
Anyway, I spent most of yesterday with a brain that didn't want to function, I kept falling asleep and was sweating and shivering even though I didn't have a temperature. Now I have problems in my life as we all do but I can normally get through without breaking down like this (breaking down seems the most apt description). I am now wondering if this could have anything to do with me trying to "accept" the stuff that causes me anger and upset?
I don't know, I'm really confused at the moment but I do know that I don't want to go through this again.
All opinions gratefully received and thanks for taking the time to read this.
PS. Sorry if this seems a little jumbled, I still don't feel quite back to normal.
As I have mentioned in other posts, I'm agoraphobic and suffer from Panic Attacks, I also had to make quite a difficult journey on Sunday.
I have been reading Claire Weekes and even stuck the book in my bag for to remind myself what I needed to do as I have a real problem differentiating between accepting and fighting a panic attack. By the time I got off the bus I was very relaxed, almost sleepy and ready to float. :) Anyway, I managed quite well on my outward journey (even walked THROUGH a very crowded Trafalgar Square :ohmy: ) without turning into a jelly. I'm not sure if I fought it or accepted it but I did ok.
Unfortunately, the purpose of my journey wasn't a pleasant one but I had prepared myself for the fact that it would be difficult. However, I wasn't prepared for the fact that everything that could go wrong did so and in a big way, I was angry and upset but managed to deal with things. The journey home was reasonable considering how hyped I was, I did have the start of a big panic when I hit central London again but by this time all thoughts of acceptance had gone out of the window and I jumped on the first bus that came along.
I was still feeling angry when I got home but didn't give it too much of my time and I settled down to watch telly and went to bed at my normal time.
I woke up at 4am with my mind playing flashbacks of the previous day and a whole heap of terrible and depressing thoughts slamming into my brain which i just couldn't control. 2hrs later, I just started sobbing and wailing I had no control over that either, this was something else, it felt like my heart was breaking.
It went on for 2 hours with my poor hubby trying to comfort me before I dragged myself out of bed and tried to get on with a normal routine, I know the worst thing to do is nothing at all.
Anyway, I spent most of yesterday with a brain that didn't want to function, I kept falling asleep and was sweating and shivering even though I didn't have a temperature. Now I have problems in my life as we all do but I can normally get through without breaking down like this (breaking down seems the most apt description). I am now wondering if this could have anything to do with me trying to "accept" the stuff that causes me anger and upset?
I don't know, I'm really confused at the moment but I do know that I don't want to go through this again.
All opinions gratefully received and thanks for taking the time to read this.
PS. Sorry if this seems a little jumbled, I still don't feel quite back to normal.