Hard to accept it is anxiety related

[yasmeena]

Hi everybody! I am new to this room and cannot believe what you people are suffering. My heart goes out to all of you. My first experience with this 'anxiety/panic disorder' was about 5 months ago when I got severe left sided chest pain out of the blue. I thought I was having a heart attack, and being a cardiothoracic intensive care nurse, my mind went crazy with every possible case senario under the sun which obviously made it worse. The pain lasted for hours, like a squeezing and stabbing pain........and the next day I felt that I had been hit by a car. Perhaps this was because it was muscle tension. That pain gradually subsided after a few days but came back out of the blue about a month later. A couple of trips to the emergency department with ECGs, bloods etc I was told it was not heart and booked in for an endoscopy. Endoscopy normal. CT chest normal. I still did not believe it was anxiety/panic attack, and was convinced it was too severe and must be heart related and that the doctors were wrong. But from that second experience the chest pain had never really subsided. I had about four episodes where my heart felt that it was being squeezed, and that pain lasted for hours, but fortunately I have not experienced that extreme pain now for about two months. However, from these episodes I have been left with this continous gripping back pain and aching sternum and left side which never seems to disappear. Sometimes I get stabbing chest pains for no reason. Sometimes, if something upsets me I get all the other symptoms like not able to swallow, tingling limbs, but the greatest problem is my FEAR!!! My fear from the chest pain has developed into a feelings that I am going crazy and I have these moments where I feel that I am going to die at any moment. I think crazy thoughts like my aorta is about to tear and I am going to bleed to death or have a massive myocardial infarction or if I take aspirin for my headaches I will haemorrhage internally. I was scared to drive incase of an accident or go shopping incase I would die in the shop. I even stopped smoking out of fear!!!! Does anybody else get these crazy thoughts???? I have been off work now for over two months and even though these episodes of fear and impending doom are less and I am terrified of going back to work for fear of getting that severe chest pain back and not being able to cope and want to flee the scene. I used to be one of the least stressed people and happy with life.......now I don't know who I am or what happened for this to happen to me! Has anybody else been this bad? I am interested to know as I feel that this is ruining my life as it is now a daily battle.

[pinkscrumpy]

Hi Yasmeena

I have the thoughts exactly the same as you and am now convinced that every little pain i have i will die i also packed up smoking through fear . I hope u find a lot of comfort from this site. I know I have

stay intough

love

MANDIE XX

[Piglet]

Hi Yasmeena,

I think your first bout of anxiety is the most scary of all as you really don't know what you are dealing with and you can't credit that such bad physical symptoms can be due to anxiety.

I've had anxiety for 5/6 years and definately the first bout floored me - like you I had always been so outgoing and confident. I can tell you it will get better that's a promise. Over the last 6 years I have had good long patches of being ok and if I'd had this site then could probably have improved miles quicker, just knowing you are not at all unusual and just how common this is really helps.

Some people recover and never go onto to get it badly again and some of us have to learn to adapt a bit as obviously the way we were dealing with things before wasn't working for us.

Hang on in there and let time and nature do its stuff and meanwhile come on here for reasurance and coping tips.

All the best
Love Piglet:)

[EmmaJane]

H Yasmeena,

I have also suffered anxiety for years. The more children I have had, the worst it seems to of got. I am now starting to recognise the symptoms. But obviously still have off days. I think any little ache or pain is something major and is going to kill me.

Try and keep positive and remember nothing will happen to you.

Take care

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[florence]

Hi Yasmeena

Don't worry , you're not going insane, and you're not the only one with these irrational thoughts!!
I've had anxiety myself , for 8 years on and off, and I still struggle to believe it's all anxiety related.


<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">and I have these moments where I feel that I am going to die at any moment. </td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

I have this problem too, I even had that thought yesterday :(.
I have felt that so many times , and yet it didn't happen. Its all in our minds.
Take care for now.
Florence.

** Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.**

[Jwonka]

hi yasmeena, i 2 suffer from chest pains and on a daily basis, i have been 2 c 6 docs and all say its muscle pain and hiatus hernia which i still find hard 2 belive but 6 docs can'nt b wrong. have a look at some of the posts i've sent and the repiles and u can c u r not alone, i hope this will help and remember that we r all here to help u, take care xxx jwonka

[seh1980]

hello Yasmeena,

I also get the chest pains quite often. It is sometimes hard to believe that it's just caused by the anxiety but it is!!

Welcome!!

Sarah :D

[Meg]

Hi Yasmeena,

I'm from a similar professional background as you and once the first few attacks were over and I was still alive, I found my knowledge a great help. I learnt to use it rationally and stopped allowing each symptom to develop into any of the dreaded illnesses as I only had one or 2 pertinent symptoms and I could logically dis diagnose and unravel each symptom pattern.

Now talking myself out of going insane.. that was much harder but its all in the past and behind me now..

You can do that too.

First Steps : First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)


Thoughts : Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
More thoughts : Mind Games (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1789)
Thoughts: obsessive thoughts & anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3096)



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[pablo]

Hi yasmeena,

I am also relatively new to this forum. Had my first panic attack last November and have been suffering with Health Anxiety on and off ever since. I often (as recently as today in fact) get feelings of imminent death / impending doom. Thoughts go along the lines of "If I die now, who will find me", etc... Sounds absolutely crazy to anyone who has not experienced it!..but, its just the mind operating on a state of high alert and your body being extra sensitive during times of panic / anxiety. As everyone is suggesting, a combination of relaxation, excercise adn visits to this website should help rid you of these feelings.

Hope you're feeling better :)

Paul x

[nomorepanic]

Hi Yasmeena

Welcome aboard.

You say that you are scared to go back to work cos it will happen again but my guess is that if it is going to happen it will happen anytime and anywhere.

Exercise is great for the chest pains so try some gentle stretches to see if that helps.

Have you any immediate plans for some sort of recovery and a return to work in the future?

Nicola

[rhowes2000]

Hi Yasmeena,

I can't really add any more to the very good advice you have already been given but I would like to say that I too have similair panic attacks my problem is mainly health anxiety/fear of death. Exercise has certainly helped my chest pains, in fact I dont have any at all now. Also I posted today in natural remedies about fish oils they have helped me a great deal, maybe it's worth giving those a try as well?

[sal]

Hi Yas

As you can see you have had some great replies because people have felt as bad as you and know how you are suffering.

Keep in touch and i hope we can help you through this.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Karen]

Hi Yasmeena

Welcome to the forum.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[stimpy]

Hi yasmeena and welcome

People have no idea how painful "anxiety chest" is until they experience it for themselves.

The good news is it will get better once you learn to relax.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

[yasmeena]

Thank you everybody for you kindness and support! I believe that only people like 'us' can be truely compassionate to others about things like this, as the anxiety/panic distoders can be extremely cruel and mind distorting and nobody would understand unless they have experienced it firt hand. I just want to thank you all again. In relation to exercise, yes, over the last few months I have being doing a yoga session and brisk walking daily. I was terrified to even walk incae I died in the street ([Oops!] not a good look)!!!! However I am still here, inshallah!!!! I went to one doctor who wanted to put me on medication, but after doing extensive research and knowing that many who stop taking the medication usually get the symptoms back I refused to take it and do it the hard way.......and partly I refused too because I thought it would kill me[xx(] lol. So I decided to do it the hard way with much support from my family, who I cannot appreciate enough. I put them through my hell too and could never repay them for all that they have done and endured. As for my work, I have left my area that is very intense and am going to start in a less stressful position in a weeks time and hope that I do not freak out on the first day[:O]. I am sure all will be ok as long as I think positively. I know that I will have my moments, but feel that working will keep my mind active and healthy rather than sitting at home waiting for whatever it is I am waiting for.....death, spontaneous combustion etc :D. However horrible this is at times, I feel that out of this adversity good things happen and this anxiety/panic was a 'wake-up call' to change my life and I believe this for each and everyone of us who has suffed this. Take care everybody and thank you...you truely are all a wonderful group of people and I would recommend this site to anybody that needs support in this area.

Hugs and kisses
Yasmeena[:X]

[kimmy]

HELLO YASMEENA
it sounds like anxiety to me. scary isnt it. mine started whilst i was watching tv all alone, not stresses. i just thaught i wasnt breathing, having an astma attack etc. i was petrefied, it went on, my doctor gave me tablest to calm me, but i was getting so caught up in my own thaughts i that i was going schizophrenic it took a while to realise i wasnt, then i was that i was going mad. obviously theses feeling and thuaghts fuel this THING.
ITS A YEAR LATER NOW, and its getting easier (touch wood) try to reasearch anxiety more, it calms your nerves dramatically.
i think when you work with people with illnesses like this, and you know more it can be more damaging. my mum suffers with severe astma and that all i was thinking! then i found out my step brother had been admited into a hospital because he was depressed (as too i had before) then my dad!

i hope you can see where im coming from. its hard to understand this is anxiety, we all know! good luck and take care xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[linjane]

Hi Yasmeena,
Your most recent post sounds much more positive so I really hope you are feeling a bit better now. You are so right, and I us the exact same term. Only people like 'us' can help each other.

I have had anxiety for a very long time but have been much worse for the last three years. However, this week, I seem to have made a breakthrough. I have suffered from missed heartbeats/ectopic beats more or less daily for three years and they have had the same effect me on as your pains. I've never had medication for them, but did go to see a Chinese Doc last year, who said he could help, but was too scared to take the herbs. Anyway, Monday, I was sooooo fed up of the symptoms I decided to give them a try and WOW what a result. I'm not saying for defo that it is them that have made me feel so much better just yet, but give it another week or so, and I will. I'll keep you informed, but also, the horrible feeling of dread has subsided and I am thinking more rationally.

Welcome to the site and keep in touch,
Love,
Linda.x

[yasmeena]

Linda I know exactly how you feel. You get tired of your symptoms.....soooo tired. You know when I reached what I call my 'peak' of what has been happening, I was literally so tired and exhausted from the pain and fear, innsomia and the constant crying, that for the first time I had thoughts of actually ending my life to free myself from this constant torture. And the sad fact of this was that I really meant it which made me cry more:(. However, I hung in there and slowly slowly, minute by minute, I took time to deal with this and dealing with 'it' is hard. Now, for the first time in months I might have a couple of hours every few days where I am 'relatively' pain free, and the fear factors are down to a once a week, however, I am even fearful of this joyous time as I wonder if it will strike back worse than ever and in what way[Ugh]. You are right, being an intensive care nurse has made my problem a lot worse as I know too many things and have seen so many sad things. This has made me supersensitive to anybody who is ill or has some medical problem. And has created a monster in my own head about all these pseudo ailments that I have. It is easy sometimes to talk about this when we are in the 'right frame' of mind and can laugh about it, but when your mind is playing tricks we all know no matter how much we tell ourselve that it is not true......IT FEELS REAL!!!! That is the part I do not like, that you cannot switch that feeling or thought off until it was ready to go. I have found too that besides regular exercise, good diet and adequate sleep, weekly or fortnightly massages are wonderful to relieve inner tension. I am praying for all of us. Keep positive and keep your mind active on something you enjoy!!!!

Love
Yasmeena[:X]

[linjane]

Hi Yasmeena,

Please feel free to PM me if you need to talk, we are all here to help each other.

Take care,
Love,
Linda.xxx:D