So scared again - please help

[nikkixx]

Hi everyone,

I've not been on for a while as I had started a new job and seemed to be getting a bit better - not so many hours spent obsessing about MS, heart attacks, BP etc etc but I have recently found out I'm pregnant and my anxiety has come back with a vengence. Some of you might remember but my little girl was stillborn in Dec 2006 then last July I had a miscarriage. I'm 39 now and desperately want this baby but am terrified of everything again now.

I had my check in appointment with the midwife yesterday and spent 3/4 hour arguing with her that I didn't want her to take my blood pressure. Hospitals and doctors terrify me and I knew it would be up. In the end I let her take it and it was 150/84. She was happy with it coz could see the state I was in but now I'm convinced its going to be high all the time and have started getting the old eptopics again.

I am going out of my mind with worry and can feel myself slipping back into despair again.

Please help me

Nikki xx

[seeker]

Oh my goodness- i'm not surprised you feel a little anxious! I take it the GP and nurses are aware of your history? Are they keeping an extra close eye on you as a result? Could you ask your GP if you could go in once a week maybe?

Did they find a cause for your earlier traumas? I know some people have a condition that can be improved by taking aspirin - it is very common in poeple who have migraines, apparently, and can be implicated in miscarriage. I'm sure you will have asked these questions yourself, though. I suppose the only advice I could offer would be to eat as healthily as you can and try to stay as calm as possible - difficult, I know.

Keep us posted. how far gone are you?

[nikkixx]

Hi

Thanks for replying. I'm nearly 12 weeks now and my little girl was stillborn at 38+5 weeks due to a 'true knot' in her cord. They tell me it is a 'one off' and there is no greater risk of it happening again but I still can't relax.

The midwife and my GP are all aware of my past and my GP can usually get me to calm down after a few minutes and get a 'normal' reading. I'm just terrified that I am going to be admitted to hospital for the whole of the pregnancy (if I'm lucky enough to get that far) and that would be enough to send me insane. I've only ever stayed in one night and the nurses said they had never seen someone as scared as me.

Nikki x