ThePanicSurvivor
22-08-08, 09:38
Hi everyone! Well I found this forum by accident. And reading all the posts broke my heart. I can relate to all of you and what you're going through.
I basically signed up so that I could offer all of you some hope. I think too many people go to these forums when they are suffering, but then when they get better they try to put as much distance from the person they where when suffering from panic attacks, and the person they eventually become when they are cured. I'm probably not being very articulate but when I was going through panic, 10 years ago, and 2 years ago....a lot of times reading other peoples stories would make me feel worse because it would give me this feeling that "Shoot...i'm in this for the long haul"
Well it doesn't have to be this way. I used to describe my anxiety as this little demon on my shoulder that i couldn't shake. It was always there, and it was always reminding me it was there. When you are cured though...all the fears you have...taht where so irrational..almost make you laugh..and that demon is nowhere to be found.
I have a friend who also went through panic attacks. The difference betweem me and him is that I cured myself. Yes i had a lapse after 8 years but I cured myself again too. Him on the other hand...he has accepted this. And is not fighting it. He self medicates way too much. He takes xanax daily. Before even having an attack. He just feels that he needs it to cope. He keeps having his doctor up his zoloft medication. He relies on drugs completly to get over his problem and he is very very negative.
I noticed that people who get panic disorder..tend to be negative..as i was. We tend to look at the worst and feel sorry for ourselves.
I don't want to be the standard that you should all judge yourself by. Everyone is different. But I never took more than 50mg of zoloft...and i never touched the lorazeapam the doctor gave me (its still locked away in a cupboard) I couldn't afford cognitive behavioral therapy, (i'm american..no NHS to cover psychiatric treatment) But I still got through this.
You need to rewire your mind. I couldn't undergo cognitive behavioral therapy so i went online and researched techniques...and gave myself the poor mans version of CBT. When you feel the fear...you have to say so waht.....you also should constantly remind yourself that you will not diea. When you think of things like going outside..taling to people...and shake with fear....embrace that feeling of fear...analyze it...see it as nothing more than your body being hyper responsive to stress....and then ride out the wave....when you do this properly..the fear....which often is marked by adrenalin being released into your system and effecting your heart rate and breathing etc etc becomes a mere tricle...and you can feel the fear fizzle out....like a wet match.
I wish i was more articulate lol. I just want to help. I don't think anyone should live a prisoner in their own body. Which is how i felt. But you don't have to be. Honestly. My first wave 10 years ago took 2 months to recover from....and there where after effets for a year afterwards. The last lapse....8 years later....that took a good two weeks to really see the symptoms minimize.
My best points of advice:
Find a webpage (liike this) and remember that nobody has died from panic.
Keep a journal. This helps a lot. I found my old journal from 8 years ago and it helped me during my second wave recover incredibly quickly. Because i kneew that all the things i was going through i had gone through before...and if i could come out of it normal once i could come out of it ocmpletlye normal again.
I go out, i hae a life, i date, go on holidays, travel the world, fly ...... i do it all. And i do it without terror and without worry. And I want this for all of you. I really do. It breaks my heart reading all these posts...seing how many of you feel trapped in your own bodies..unable to control outside circumstances and retreating into your shell. I have to tell you..hiding in fear is not going to help you. You need to be a warrior. You need to face this head on. you need to accept the panic when it comes nad laugh it off as nothing more than an overreactive stress response. Tske your meds...take calming teas...breathe SLOWLY (exhale...more important than inhaling..always exhale longer than you inhale) and don't rely on any crutches. Dont develop avoidance behaviors (if your afraid of going to the supermarket make yourself go and go with the attitude...this is ridiculous...the worst that can happen..i have a panic attack..so what...i know i can't die from them etc etc)
Yeah..again sorry I suck at telling my story lol. I just want to give you all hope. I live panic free. I dont take zoloft anymore. I sleep and live life and i do it without fear...(and if i do have fear its rational managealbe fear) i dont want you guys to be slaves to this. I want to see everyone recover. It's a horrible thing to go through but it doesn't have to last forever.
Much love and hope to you all
I basically signed up so that I could offer all of you some hope. I think too many people go to these forums when they are suffering, but then when they get better they try to put as much distance from the person they where when suffering from panic attacks, and the person they eventually become when they are cured. I'm probably not being very articulate but when I was going through panic, 10 years ago, and 2 years ago....a lot of times reading other peoples stories would make me feel worse because it would give me this feeling that "Shoot...i'm in this for the long haul"
Well it doesn't have to be this way. I used to describe my anxiety as this little demon on my shoulder that i couldn't shake. It was always there, and it was always reminding me it was there. When you are cured though...all the fears you have...taht where so irrational..almost make you laugh..and that demon is nowhere to be found.
I have a friend who also went through panic attacks. The difference betweem me and him is that I cured myself. Yes i had a lapse after 8 years but I cured myself again too. Him on the other hand...he has accepted this. And is not fighting it. He self medicates way too much. He takes xanax daily. Before even having an attack. He just feels that he needs it to cope. He keeps having his doctor up his zoloft medication. He relies on drugs completly to get over his problem and he is very very negative.
I noticed that people who get panic disorder..tend to be negative..as i was. We tend to look at the worst and feel sorry for ourselves.
I don't want to be the standard that you should all judge yourself by. Everyone is different. But I never took more than 50mg of zoloft...and i never touched the lorazeapam the doctor gave me (its still locked away in a cupboard) I couldn't afford cognitive behavioral therapy, (i'm american..no NHS to cover psychiatric treatment) But I still got through this.
You need to rewire your mind. I couldn't undergo cognitive behavioral therapy so i went online and researched techniques...and gave myself the poor mans version of CBT. When you feel the fear...you have to say so waht.....you also should constantly remind yourself that you will not diea. When you think of things like going outside..taling to people...and shake with fear....embrace that feeling of fear...analyze it...see it as nothing more than your body being hyper responsive to stress....and then ride out the wave....when you do this properly..the fear....which often is marked by adrenalin being released into your system and effecting your heart rate and breathing etc etc becomes a mere tricle...and you can feel the fear fizzle out....like a wet match.
I wish i was more articulate lol. I just want to help. I don't think anyone should live a prisoner in their own body. Which is how i felt. But you don't have to be. Honestly. My first wave 10 years ago took 2 months to recover from....and there where after effets for a year afterwards. The last lapse....8 years later....that took a good two weeks to really see the symptoms minimize.
My best points of advice:
Find a webpage (liike this) and remember that nobody has died from panic.
Keep a journal. This helps a lot. I found my old journal from 8 years ago and it helped me during my second wave recover incredibly quickly. Because i kneew that all the things i was going through i had gone through before...and if i could come out of it normal once i could come out of it ocmpletlye normal again.
I go out, i hae a life, i date, go on holidays, travel the world, fly ...... i do it all. And i do it without terror and without worry. And I want this for all of you. I really do. It breaks my heart reading all these posts...seing how many of you feel trapped in your own bodies..unable to control outside circumstances and retreating into your shell. I have to tell you..hiding in fear is not going to help you. You need to be a warrior. You need to face this head on. you need to accept the panic when it comes nad laugh it off as nothing more than an overreactive stress response. Tske your meds...take calming teas...breathe SLOWLY (exhale...more important than inhaling..always exhale longer than you inhale) and don't rely on any crutches. Dont develop avoidance behaviors (if your afraid of going to the supermarket make yourself go and go with the attitude...this is ridiculous...the worst that can happen..i have a panic attack..so what...i know i can't die from them etc etc)
Yeah..again sorry I suck at telling my story lol. I just want to give you all hope. I live panic free. I dont take zoloft anymore. I sleep and live life and i do it without fear...(and if i do have fear its rational managealbe fear) i dont want you guys to be slaves to this. I want to see everyone recover. It's a horrible thing to go through but it doesn't have to last forever.
Much love and hope to you all