How much can you take before reaching breaking point - I am there!

[nomorepanic]

I am at the end of my tether tonight and so so fed up :weep:

I have had enough and want to rant.

I have had severe swallowing problems as I posted about recently and was fine all day then driving home it hit me again and I freaked. I cannot swallow, I am gagging and coughing and find it hard to breathe.

Get home ok but have terrible pains in womb area (ovarian cyst) and back ache

Now been bitten by something so ankle is swollen

Does it ever end:weep: :weep:

[titchjd]

hi m8 ..sorry 2 hear u had bad day hun .....
I have episodes of wen i cant breathe and its scary ....just tell yourself i got home ok .
Have u been and had endoscopy about yr swallowing prob i had 1 and all was ok was told it just part of my anxiety and i focus on it so it becums severe x

your ovary pain ....soz 2 b personnal but is it mid cycle or wher u extremely tense ..both could have caused it .

i hope u are feeling bit better now and more relaxed if carrys on go bak 2 docs and ask 4 some tests ..if thats what u want of course xxxxx

love and hugs Titch xxxxxxx

[titchjd]

PS just re read and saw u put ovarian cyst what treatment u having 4 that ??

[pooh]

HI Nic!

Sorry to hear you had such A crap evening. Sometimes it feels like it all comes at once eh?

What about a nice warm bath, some painkillers and some antihistamines or antihistamine cream for the bite. Alternatively tell Alex top give you a massage, or brush your hair or rub your feet. Just something nice to ease the tensions.
Hope you feel better in the morning

Pooh x

[kendo59]

Sorry things seem so bad today.

From "Gone with the Wind"....

As God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be hungry again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again. After all.... Tomorrow is another day.

[carly123]

Sounds like you're havin 'one of those days'...
I hope you realise swallowing problems are a common symptom of anxiety, it's one of those things you can't ignore, though, so you can't help but worry about it - we understand.
As for ovarian cysts, if it is causing you pain, you should have it out. My mothers side of the family have a terrible history of them but I promise you they are all fine.
Take care.xx

[Alisonj]

I am so sorry you are having one of those days. I had one yesterday. I do my best to go to sleep when I have one so I dont get myself to worked up. Hope things got better.

[Lynnann]

Hi Nic,

Sorry you are having such a rough time at the moment, ((((((((HUGS))))))))))) to you and I hope tomorrow is a better day


Lynnann

[kate]

Nic, so sorry that things are rough for you at the moment.

Have some :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Love Kate xxx

[lilly-lou]

Sending you hugs :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Hope things are better when you wake up

lilly-lou

[lainey]

Hi Nic

Sorry to hear you had such a bad day yesterday, I hope today brings you some relief from your symptoms and that you are able to relax a little.

BIG HUGS COMING YOUR WAY

:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
Take care

Elaine xxx

[marie1974]

hiya nic, im so sorry you are feeling so rough at moment, it never just rains,it away pours doesnt it hun.

give yourself a few days and imsure you will pick up, we are all here for you, you are not alone. :hugs:

[lorac]

Hi Nicola

Sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment I really do hope that you have a better time this weekend.

Love
Carol
xxxx

[honeybee3939]

http://d21c.com/jinnytoo/cats/cat.hug.jpg


Love
:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[debera]

hi nic
sorry you are having a rough time. hope you feel better soon
love debera:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :bighug1: :bighug1:

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Nic,

I hope you are feeling better today. Health problems on top of anxiety is awful and I wish you could at least get help for your pain. I do hope the swallowing problem gets resolved soon. I hope you know you are in my prayers.

Many hugs,

Laura

[jill]

Hi Nic, :hugs:

Sorry hear how you are feeling hun, :hugs:

Thinking of you and hope things get sorted really soon.

YOU TAKE CARE :hugs:

LOVE JILLXXX

:flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::flowers::flow ers:

[lesleya]

Aw nic im sorry your still having problems with your throat, its a horrible thing to have, i know its horrible.
Wish there was something to help you, but, the only thing ever helps me with it is crushed ice, iced water which soothes mine.
As if its not enough having the throat problems you've got the pain from your cist too...i do feel for you. Its a bummer being a woman sometimes isnt it hun.
I just hope you get some help to give you some ease from it all.
Take care
:bighug1: :bighug1:

[Hope 2]

Hi Nicola

Even a Saint would be brassed off by now. The throat probs sound very hard to cope with, hideous in fact. Speech Therapy can work wonders, I have worked with patients who have had fab results and relief from their symptoms.

Hang In There
Hope xx

[kazzie]

Hi Nic:hugs:

No words of wisdom Im afraid just a big:bighug1: from Me to you


Kaz x x x:hugs:

[milly jones]

just another hug nic

mill xxx

[Karen]

Sorry you are having a rough time at the moment Nic. Sending you some hugs :hugs:

Karen xx

[nomorepanic]

Thanks for all your lovely replies and support.

I wanted to post and say I feel better but I don't :weep:

Last night I was so stressed I drank way too much and of course today I am suffering for it and the throat is no better.

I am trying to distract myself as much as I can but it is hard.

I just have to hope that I get some relief when I see the specialist.

With regards to the ovarian cyst - I am assuming that is causing the back pain as I know it is a symptom and I have had it a few weeks now. They will not do anything until I get it re-scanned in 6 weeks.

I appreciate all the support though so thanks again :hugs:

[fairyloveheart]

Sorry you are feeling so down :hugs:

[Granny Primark]

nic so sorry you're feeling so unwell and stressed at the moment.
To be honest Ive noticed it in your recent posts.
So often ive been told to take a step back and concentrate on myself.
I really think that its time you made time for yourself.
I used to take everyones problems on board and the result was me becoming unable to work because of anxiety and panic.
Its difficult to stop acting like you can cope and solve everyones problems. Ive been there and done that.
Your main priority is yourself.
I really hope you begin to feel better soon.

p.s sorry for the lecture lol

[nomorepanic]

Thanks Lynn for the kind words

I do hope that I haven't offended anyone with my replies to their posts recently :blush: You made me worry that I said something I shouldn't have. I am sorry if I did. Please let me know if I upset someone and I will reply.

Yes I need to make time for me and it is ironic that someone PM'd me tonight and said the same and even my mum said "where is the Nicola time in all of this".

I even sat tonight folding NMP flyers to send to people so I guess I never let it go. I even did the September prize quiz and checked all the entries for the August one so far - so yes outside of posting on the forum I still do background stuff for NMP.

I guess it has been my baby for so long and I feel responsible for what happens on here and like to see it run smoothly.

Yes the admins can cope without me just fine :)

I think the main problem is feeling so ill and hiding it from work and having to go there each day and pretend I am fine. I have my reasons for not telling them and I do not want time off and sympathy from them.

I guess I posted as people think I am some sort of superhero and all is ok with me and I am well and I wanted people to know that I am not so good and I really need help and support too.

I created NMP to get help and help others and I appreciate all comments and support so thanks.

Would I be free of panic if I wasn't on here all the time? Who knows - maybe I would have moved on and not dwelled on things and got so tied up with people's issues and moved on. All I know is that I have to do this to help people.

Anyway I am waffling :whistles:

[belle]

Sorry you're having a shi*ty time.

x

[lilly-lou]

Hi Nicola,

Sorry to see you are still feeling rough, I think that you and the admins do a wonderful job on this site, I have done more outings this last couple of months since joining N.M.P. than I have juring the 7yrs I have suffered from agoraphobia. I don't think that you would be free from panic if you didn't hang around here so often and I guess that it gives you a lot of self worth when you read how many people you have helped just by keeping this website going, I haven't got any worse by coming here if anything I have made heaps of progress. We all have blips, I have had many but somehow we manage to carry on. I think that maybe while you are having a few issues yourself that you do need a little 'me' time,it will give you the time you need to relax and get well.

Take care

lilly-lou

[Coni]

Hi Nic, sorry to hear things are so rough for you just now....I hope today is a better day for you and you manage to find the time to do something nice just for yourself.

Sorry I cant be more help

love Coni XXX

[honeybee3939]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[jodie]

hiya nic

i know your having a hard time right now and i know there is not much i can say to put it right but if you need anything just say, i think time out for you is what you need people are right you need to step back a bit somtimes and chill,why not take one day a week were it is just your day dont come on nmp ect just relax you have some good adim and us mods can keep watch in chat

:bighug1:

jodie xxx

[alexis]

Hi nic, so sorry things are not good, with you all the way with the throat problem, as you know I have it too, I have a cyst, had it for years , never given me any problems since it was diagnosed but I was told if it did it would need removing, maybe youd be better without yours on top of all your other problem, take care Nic,xxx

[nomorepanic]

Thanks all

Just to add to my problems my 2 cats are now both ill.

One has had to go to the emergency vet tonight and stay in as she is really poorly and one is at home with us (she has a heart condition) and we are monitoring her closely after giving her some drugs the vet gave us in an emergency.

It never rains but it pours eh!

[kate]

Hope that your cats both get better very soon, Nic :hugs:

Kate xx

[bluesparkle]

nic
i really feel for you. . .
i know what you mean by "it never rains but it pours"
hang on in there it will get better. . . i dont have any advice but just to echo what every one has said. . . and sending you lots of :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: .
you are a special person and dont forget time for you.
rach
x

[ladygrom]

hi nic so sorry your having rough time hope things get better soon tc xxxx big hugs x

[alexis]

Hi Nic, how are the cats, still not heard about mine.xx

[nomorepanic]

Alexis- hugs to you too mate as I know you are so worried about yours.:hugs:

Walnut is fine today :D and the emergency vet still have Treacle. We have to call later after they have done x-rays and drained the fluid from her abdomen.

Hopefully they will let us bring her home tonight but I guess it depends on what they find.

[Piglet]

Nic I just wanted to say not to be worrying about the cyst - I had one for 18 months about 2/3 years ago and had to have it scanned every 6 months and then it just went.

My GP says unless they get really big and cause too much discomfort then they don't bother doing anything about them and they are incredibly common - many many women will have them and not even know! So don't be worrying.

Also I wanted to say (cos the last 12 months has been a bit poo like my end) that yet again try and take each day as it comes. You know once we get abit down we tend to think every difficult thing that comes up is just yet more crap to deal with - not one of those things in isolation are enough to get you down but put them all together and we start to feel we can't catch a break, which is rubbish -it's just our current take on the situation!!!

I've been reading the new Erkhart Tolle book recently (can you tell lol) and a great quote (already used this once today) is 'and this too shall pass' ie: nothing stays the same for long and we just keep moving forward whether we like it or not and some of that stuff will be good stuff and yes some of it won't be. It's kinda what life is made up of - like a bag of Revels, some flavours are gorgeous and some you spit out!!! :shades:

It's all about that whole taking time to experience the journey rather than worrying about the destination stuff isn't it!!

It'll all come out in the wash as they say! :hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[nomorepanic]

Piglet

Thanks for the reply mate.:hugs:

It is funny cos I am not worried about the ovarian cyst - just hate the pain it brings but I am a bit weird cos I would rather have pain than panic lol. I hate been poked and prodded and just want to be left alone.

Everything is all just a bit much this year with Crohn's, fibroids, cysts, swallowing issues, cats ill, hassles on here and so on.

I am a fighter as you know Piglet but sometimes it is just draining and there seems no end to it.

I think I may have upset some people with replies I have done to their posts as well and that worries me as it was never my intention.

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow either so just a bit down these last few days.

I guess I need a holiday so may look into that as well.

Thanks for caring though xxx

[nomorepanic]

Forgot to say that we have Treacle home - she is very sleepy and not really her old self but at least she is ok and back.

Just got to get her to the vets tomorrow for more tests/scans etc.

[alexis]

Hi Nic, so glad treacle is home, its much better news than last night, I am so pleased, take care.xxx

[honeybee3939]

Nic

Glad to hear treacle is home :hugs: .

Also pleased to hear you are thinking about a holiday. After all the hassles and worry you have had this year a holiday sounds a good idea so you are able to re-charge your batteries mate.
hope you can get one sorted:hugs:

Hope tommo is a better day Nic.

Thinking of you
:hugs: :hugs:
Andy
xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Thanks Alexis and I am really really hoping for good news for you tomorrow.

If not then I am here for you mate and I completely understand and will support you all I can :bighug1:

[Piglet]

It is funny cos I am not worried about the ovarian cyst - just hate the pain it brings but I am a bit weird cos I would rather have pain than panic lol. I hate been poked and prodded and just want to be left alone.

Ditto!!!

I really identify with you at the mo Nic - I honestly do!

I think we're running on parallel lines with some of our 'issues' (or at least the amount of them) and every now and again I've actually felt really over emotional and a little low with it all. So I 'get' where you're at just at present cos it's the same space I'm in too!!:unsure:

Mind you you would be proud of me in the last couple of weeks as I've managed to get out to the doctors, the dentist and then even a couple of hours at Specsavers for me and youngest piglet to have our eyes tested and new glasses etc. I've got a few more things I need to do this week but perhaps the CBT has helped with the agoraphobia more than I give it credit for.

BTW I'm starting on the Nopanic telephone course again next month to try and keep the motivation going now the CBT has ended!:yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[bottleblond]

Nic

I think it's fair to say that you have been through the mill and back over the past few months with one thing or another and i admire you for keeping going. You work full time in the day then come home and work on NMP, that's alot for one person.

I really hope you get some positive news on these health issues so at least you can have peace of mind and try to take some of the weight off of your shoulders.

Hope you start to feel alot better very soon/

Loads of love

Lisa
xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Piglet - wow get you eh! Well done on all your successes.

Odd bunch aren't we that we prefer pain over panic and "normal" people wouldn't even want the pain !

Good luck with the course - as you know I did it last year and maybe I could do with a top up - I am sure you can do it as many times as you want so many consider it. Let us know how it goes.

Andy - thanks for the message and the text today and for thinking of me.

Lisa - cheers mate. It has been an odd few months hasn't it? Thanks for letting me moan all the time (well daily at the moment lol) on MSN. You make me laugh and that is a good thing !

[kazzie]

Nic and Alex:hugs:

So sorry to hear Treacle is poorly too:weep:

Thinking of you all and Walnut too:hugs:

If you want a chat Nic you have my numbers

Love to you all

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Lindalou64]

sorry to hear your havin a rough time nic ,but does it ever end hmmmmm well your talkin to wrong person im chief grey cloud, but things do get better till the next and im sure you will get better also , keep the faith , linda xxxxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Nic

How are you and the pussys today? Hope things have improved for you all.

Love

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Andy
xxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Things are no better in fact they are far worse.:lac: :weep:

The pain in pelvic area is so intense that it is making me very very miserable and I hate it!

Doc can't tell me if it is Crohns or the ovarian cyst and I am still waiting to see the consultant and a re-scan on ovaries. Also been referred to a gynae doc as well.

Feel so down at the moment as the pain is so intense and pain killers only stop it for a few hours and I cannot keep taking them.

I am trying to cope with this pain and my blooming throat swallowing problems and I have never felt this down before as I have never had so many things to cope with at once. The panic is bad enough but all these other problems are dragging me down big time.

I am living for weekends at the moment so I can curl up and sleep.:wacko:

When does the pain go and how will I ever know what is causing it if the docs don't?

Just wanted to moan anyway - please feel free to ignore me :doh:

[leo05]

Big hugs for you nic,
here for ya

lea

[nomorepanic]

Lea

Thanks for not ignoring me lol and for the hugs.

[diane07]

Aww sorry you're having such a rough time nic,

I to have got the throat thing, its definately anx hun, we can't all possibly have throat cancer lol, i had this 19 years ago, and i'll tell you what makes it worse, its all the swallowing we do, i've been swallowing so much for the last 3 days my throat is killing me now, and i swallow to make sure i can swallow...........how mad is that......... you'd think after i swallowed the first time that it would tell my brain........ hey! see you can swallow...........but oh no! i have to do six zillion times just incase i can't. And then theres that lump that i'm convinced is there, the mad thing is my uncle had throat cancer, and never ever felt a lump or had difficulty in swallowing, his voice went. So what do i do ......i start thinking my voice is going......... i'm sure if he told me that the only symptom he had was a third leg appeared i'd be convinced that another leg was appearing lol.

Damn anx is a pain in the backside

keep your chin up girl,
thinking of you

di xx

[kazzie]

Thinking of you Nic:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Got no advice Im afraid just lots of:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[bottleblond]

Boss Wumin


I am not in the least bit surprised that this is getting on top of you because you have had one thing after another recently and that is enough to bring anyone down.

I seriously believe the throat thing is anxiety although i could be wrong, but it just sounds so similar to what i get and others on here describe. It is a horrible feeling, like the throat is closing and you're constantly swallow just to make sure you CAN! it's tight, restricting and feels like you are breathing through a pin hole?

Your other problems, i can only sympathise with mate because apart from a skin condition, i don't even get a common cold! (bet i just jinxed myself saying that).

I offer you a shoulder and an ear ANYTIME you need/want one!!

thinking of ye

Loads of love
Lisa

xxxxxxxxxxx

:bighug1::bighug1:

[nomorepanic]

Di/Kazzie/Lisa

Thanks for the replies guys - means a lot to me.

I sometimes suffer in silence and forget I have a whole forum of people here that understand and can empathise and support me too.

I try not to moan but things are so bad that I felt I wanted to last night.

The pain is bearable tonight and I feel a bit better.

Let's hope I get these things sorted soon and back on track to good health again!

I guess it was just too much in one go to cope with - I prefer one issue at a time lol.

Thanks again

[marie1974]

hi nic only just read your thread but i am so sorry u feeling so crap mate, im sorry i cant offer much advice to u but sending big hugs and im here if ever u feel like a good moan. xxxxxx

[nomorepanic]

Thanks Donna

I have to try and get through this somehow but so depressed and in pain that it is doing my head in!

Friday tomorrow - woo

[leo05]

yyw nic and hey hugs for ya and hope you are feeling even more btr tomoz too

lea xx

[Piglet]

Have you had a date to have a rescan yet Nic and did you tell the doctor that you are in this sort of pain??

I do remember being doubled up with my cyst (makes it sound like we were lovers or something :blush: ) at first, which is indeed what took me to the docs in the first place (that and the bright orange stuff coming out of me :ohmy: ). Thankfully though neither went on for very long at that level however even now I do get twinges at ovulation time etc.

I hope you feel much better very soon cos I know how grumpy and down I got in March/April with the pain I had from my wisdom tooth!

Hang on in there! :hugs:

Piglet :flowers:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Nic

Sorry i havent been around much on MSN but wanted you to know i have been thinking of you:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I hope things get sorted for you soon and start to feel much better, sorry to hear the pain killers havent been much help. If i was you i would keep pushing your GP to get the tests done quickly so things can get sorted, it seems ages now you have been suffering and you shouldnt have to suffer like this.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs too !:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[titchjd]

Hi Nic......hope you are ok and so sorry you having a rough time m8 ..we are all here for you when ever you need 2 let off steam..:hugs:

Have you had appointment for new scan ? I have endometriosis and have has 2 ops 2 cure it but with no luck it just comes back ...but the pain killers I have Mefenamic acid is very good ..not sure if you have tried this for the pain .

Keep pushing for the scan hun as you need 2 get this sorted x

Sending you big big hugs :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:


Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Hope 2]

Hiya Nicola

You are living a total nightmare at the mo. I hope you can manage to persuade someone to get off their ar*e and speed things up. Any way will do just something so you can some relief from all this that's going on.

Have the whole weekend in your pit if poss.

Bestest of wishes
Julia xx

[nomorepanic]

Thanks everyone.

My rescan is on the 24th Sept - same day I see the Crohns consultant as well so hopefully one of them will give me some answers.:unsure:

Today I have developed acid indigestion which I have not had for a while so now my stomach is agony! One thing after another.:weep:

I must have been really bad in a previous life to have all this going on at the moment. Where's the end of it all.

I am fed up of moaning about it all to be honest :doh:

[marie1974]

aww nic lets hope they can sort u out quick hun, and i sometimes think that i must have been bad in my past life cos everything seems to happen to me, it just makes me stronger and more determined. hugs and thinking of u xxx

ps make sure u rest up and do nothing this weekend, cuppa magasines and choc matey. xxxxxxx