Gryphoenix
23-08-08, 03:05
Well, I found myself running out of a staircase today...
I felt so bad for not making it up to the fourth floor. I had worked myself into such a state because I'd drank a tiny bit of coke and was afraid the caffinne would mess with my heart rate and by the time I got to the staircase my heart was already jackhammering away and I got up two flights, and found myself in a tight, claustrophobic area with my heart already pumping away at who knows how many gazillion miles per hour. I could feel it starting to get ready to palpitate (the fast buzzy heart rate not the ectopics) and I was like--how can I make it up more flights if I'm already maxing my heart rate out? This freaked me out and I didn't have to go up there after all so I didn't.
I looked at all the people living up there and walking up the steps and I just got sad for a moment...that I couldn't do the same things they could do. That I couldn't go where I wanted to. That they could go up there and I couldn't.
(I think this bothered me because one time when I was little I went to one of those Discovery Zone fun places where there's this big indoor jungle gym and I couldn't get up the big long slope pyramid thing and I made all the kids behind me impatient and mad. The attendant lady had to help me up cause I just couldn't climb it no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't strong enough.)
Am I really that unfit? I've been exercising pretty nicely as of late and I know I could have done it if I haven't worked myself into a state. Now it's going to be hanging over me...>__<
Anyway I just wanted to have a moan...it's been a long day.:wacko:
I felt so bad for not making it up to the fourth floor. I had worked myself into such a state because I'd drank a tiny bit of coke and was afraid the caffinne would mess with my heart rate and by the time I got to the staircase my heart was already jackhammering away and I got up two flights, and found myself in a tight, claustrophobic area with my heart already pumping away at who knows how many gazillion miles per hour. I could feel it starting to get ready to palpitate (the fast buzzy heart rate not the ectopics) and I was like--how can I make it up more flights if I'm already maxing my heart rate out? This freaked me out and I didn't have to go up there after all so I didn't.
I looked at all the people living up there and walking up the steps and I just got sad for a moment...that I couldn't do the same things they could do. That I couldn't go where I wanted to. That they could go up there and I couldn't.
(I think this bothered me because one time when I was little I went to one of those Discovery Zone fun places where there's this big indoor jungle gym and I couldn't get up the big long slope pyramid thing and I made all the kids behind me impatient and mad. The attendant lady had to help me up cause I just couldn't climb it no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't strong enough.)
Am I really that unfit? I've been exercising pretty nicely as of late and I know I could have done it if I haven't worked myself into a state. Now it's going to be hanging over me...>__<
Anyway I just wanted to have a moan...it's been a long day.:wacko: