need to talk, cant stand this much more have i got hiv

[sharon1]

hi everyone, need to get this off my chest feel like im going crazy..about 6 weeks ago i really started suffering with anxiety(or so im told) symptoms were pins and needles, numbness in face lips tongue, feeling of dread in stomach that never leaves..been to docs gave me a short course of prozac then did loads of blood tests which have all come back fine...so im suffering anxiety, but how do i know this..i am terrified i have hiv, i had a sexual encounter 14 years ago with someone who was a high risk person..my doctor says if i had been hiv positive for so long i would have known, but i have googled and it says you can have it for years and not know..im in a long term relationship with two healthy children but cannot get this out of my head, im too scared to get a test and now im obsessed because my tongue has a white coating on it which google says is a sign of hiv...my doc has looked at this and said its not thrush(i do get burning mouth and have been given mouthwash which seems to help) apart from this i am not ill in other way..can anyone relate to this or i am been totally irrational..

[jojo2316]

oh poor you - big hugs. your symptoms are very typical anxiety though. Did you tell your doc about your hiv fear? You mention you have children, and hiv is routinely tested for during pregnancy........ they don't tell you about it, they just do it (as I noticed, while inspecting my pregnancy notes). So you may already have been tested. (and obviously, they WOULD have told you if it had come back positive....)
hope you feel better soon... xx

[sharon1]

i can vaguely remember been asked about it with my last child which was in 2002 cant remember if i had it and when i asked my doc he couldnt find anything on my medical records but i dont know if this is because it was on my antenatal records...thanks for your reply..

[nickieb]

Sharon

Hello love, your going through a tough time. I personally have worked with many HIV+ patients and so have learnt alot speaking to them. I can assure you you would have found out after 14 years if you have contracted it. I can understand your anxiety with your symptoms however as a fellow anxiety sufferer myself again i can assure you i have also had these symptoms.
When i was at my worse, i had this coating on my tongue and it was due to being dehydrated and lacking in many vitamins, as soon as i picked up in myself in went.
I hope your GP understands and is able to reasure you any way possible which i think will be the only way to clarify this doubt in your mind!

Best Wishes

Nicola

[seeker]

To be absolutely sure, you could go to your nearest GUM clinic, and they will test you for free, anonymously! I went for something pretty minor, and they offered me the whole gamut of tests, including syphillis and HIV! I was a bit taken aback, and not sure I really wnated the tests, but anyway I had them done and they were all negative, so that is a whole list less of illnesses I have to worry about. They don't pass results onto your GP unless oyu expressly allow it and they were exceptionally sympathetic and professional - highly recommend them.

[Erica]

Hi I kind know a bit about HIV (we did research in school), first off its okay to be scared, I know I would be. Here are some facts, HIV is a virus it does not kill you, second the only definitve way to tell if you have it is to get the test done, yes it can be scary but i would rather have the peace of mind knowing the answer, last it is treatable if you have it but you have to know you have it to be treated for it.
Last 14 years is a long time and your doctor is right you most likely would have started showing signs by now.
Good luck and best wishes

[girlrock]

Sharon,

I agree with everyone else....after 14 years, you would probably be very sick by now. I was getting oral thrush since I was 18(24 now) and that was the only thing the doctors would say it could be..HIV. Same with Google...type in oral thrush once and it all comes back HIV. Well I just had a load of bloodwork including HIV and auto-immune and everything came back fine. They don't know why I get thrush but I suspect its from my stress and anxiety.

Just because you have a white coating on your tongue doesn't mean you have thrush. If you smoke, it could be from that too. I always have a coating regardless of whether I have thrush at that time or not. Thrush gives you a really distinct taste in your mouth(well it does for me anyway) and its not just a coating its literally fuzzy...like if you spit you will see pieces of the fuzz in the sink.

On the other hand...I don't think a lot of doctors are knowledgable about thrush. I had my own GP tell me a few times that I didn't have it when I knew for a fact that I did and sure enough my throat culture would show it. But just go get tested! I know its extremely scary..I had the whole "I don't want to know" complex but now that I've been tested and its shown negative I feel so much better. Especially when I actually had doctors looking me straight in the face and saying "You must have HIV."

Your symptoms are pretty typical of anxiety. They can manifest differently at different times. I had the tingling in my face back in July for about 2 weeks and it went away and hasn't returned. Right now I am having squeezing sensations in my chest and neck for about 2 weeks. I know its anxiety because its not there all the time...just when I'm thinking about it or stressing. Symptoms of major illnesses don't come and go...that's what I try to tell myself anyway. Hoped I could set your mind at ease a bit! Take care!