Im Goin To Be A Dad!!!!!!

[50cent84]

hi everyone. i been with my gf 6 years. i suffer with agoraphobia for about 3 yrs and im so bad i cant wak anywhere go to big paces ie shopping centers or hospitals.

so anyway my gf is pregnant and imso scared. i wont be able to go for scans with her i wont be abe to wak to child to the park and i want to be a norma dad.

please could anybody help with any advise. thanks very much

[marie1974]

aww well congrats hun thats good news and u will be a great dad. start now by setting yourself tiny goals each day and mayb make sure u havesomeone with u.

talk to your doc about this and see if you can get ome counsellin too asim sure you will want to do lots of stuff once baby is born. u can do this facing your fears are really hard but we can do it and recover.

please dont panic too much, theres loads of people on here who will help u too with agoraphobia. hugs

[lilly-lou]

congratulations. I had two pregnancies while I was suffering from agoraphobia and when I was pregnant with the first one my agoraphobia was that bad I couldn'tget to my garden gate but I coped with two very high risk pregnancies and lots of additional visits and scans. Start by talking to your doctor and as Donna has said take small steps each day, I know it seems scary and impossible but it is possible to overcome the agoraphobia.


lilly-lou

[yorkylover]

Congratulations:yesyes:
Im sure everything will ok for you,this may help you get better.Dont let the agoraphobia beat you.:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

[eternally optimistic]

Hey, that's great news, good on yah.

Enjoy the experience and dont put pressure on yourself to
be the perfect person.

Take it in your stride and you'll enjoy the whole thing.

[Tom_M]

You have to start off with small steps and gradually go further. I started off taking my dog as far as the nearest lamppost, then to the end of the road, and then round the block. The more you do it the more you get used to it and the better your confidence gets. When I first started going round the block I felt like turning back but I stuck with it. I'm completely recovered from acrophobia now and thinking about it while out doesn't bother me in the least because now going out is the norm in my life, whereas when I had acrophobia panic was normal. BTW, congratulations

Tom

[50cent84]

thanks very much or all your comments. im not as bad as most i can drive 15 mile radias but car has to be parked right outside but still cant get to big places like shopping centre. thanks again for your comments

[IrishPrincess]

Heya 50,
Congrats:yesyes: .As every1 said take baby steps,i have an 8 year old son and he is the one who keeps me going and makes me determined to get out,i am in a relapse at the minute but am getting there,i got through it once before and if i can do it any1 can.

[Gregor]

Congratulations. Don't see this as a bad, panicky type of situation. You need to see it for what it is - a fantastic piece of news. Just take a step back and think just how good it is. Everything will come over time. As mentioned by others, this could help you in more ways than one. It could well help you overcome certain fears. I know it will all be quite difficult, but it's not impossible.

I suffered from agoraphobia very badly and never even left my house for one year. Now i'm living in Peru! not to make this about me, but if i can do something like that, you can do this, anybody can do anything.

Good luck and well done, again.

[kendo59]

Congrats!

Now you have something worth beating your agorophobia for.

What if your baby got ill and it was up to you to take him/her to the doctor? Would you be able to go outside then?
Do you really want to miss out on those special moments, taking the baby for a walk in his/her buggy/stroller? Taking toddler to the park to feed the ducks, teaching him/her to swim and ride a bike?


Being a parent will give you a level of inspiration and dedication that you never thought possible.
You're no longer doing it for yourself. You're doing it for that child who depends on you.


Are you up to it?

One step at a time, mate. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
It's up to you to put your shoes on, open the door, and put your foot forward.

[50cent84]

all your comments are great thanks alot xxxx

[Tom_M]

I had to go shopping on Saturday with the misses. She dragged me through every shop in the town. We went to Asda, then about 20 other shops and ended up at Tesco. Now I'm like everyone else, I get all hot and bothered spending to much time in a supermarket. Well I was starting to sweat, feeling a little dizzy and not liking it at all. What I did was to call on my COOL state to calm me down. I think I'm mentioned my COOL state before. But anyway, this is what it's about. We all go into states. You loose your temper, that's a state (temper is just the fight part of 'fight or flight'), having a laugh that's a state. You can create your own states. Every thought conjures up an emotion. You think dentist, you automatically feel a little anxiety at the thought of it. What I'm saying is thinking up a word can make you feel a certain way. It's called anchoring in NLP. What I do is to lie on a bed and go into deep relaxation. This is basically self hypnosis. Then I get the sensation that I'm floating on top of the bed. And to keep floating I have to keep relaxing. If I loose concentration in relaxing, I start to drop down to the bed. It really does feel like I'm floating when I get to that stage. Anyway, While in that complete relaxed state I keep thinking the word COOL, which then automatically gets associated with the complete relaxed state I'm in.
Then when I need to I just think the word COOL and my body reacts to the thought by relaxing. It's basically the same technique as stage hypnotists use. BTW, COOL stands for Calm Of mind Of body just Let go.

Tom