mlondon
25-08-08, 12:56
This bank holiday weekend is an important weekend. A year ago this weekend I thought I was going to die. I came home one night, was alone, panicked and in my irrational state of thinking as I was panicking I thought the only way to stop the feeling was jump off the balcony. Instead luckily I was thinking straight enough to take valium and passed out.
Obviously there are associations with last year. This weekend was my friends birthday, i went out drinking with her and when I came home yesterday, I felt totally spaced out and my panic was at a 9/10 i'd say. But I calmed down and was ok, my mum came round to spend the evening with me. Now when I think about panic I think I am going crazy and I am scared and so I guess I am panicking about being in the same place I was last year.I have come a long way but it hasn't been easy, what if I go back to where I was?
I should be happy I have got through the weekend, I got over feeling totally anxious yesterday but I still feel sooo scared of everything.
Another thing that makes me feel awful is when I hear about bad things happening and I wonder if they could happen to me. For example my friend found out 2 of her friends hung themselves this week. That totally freaked me out! I tried to imagine how they were feeling and then began to worry I could hang myself. I don't want to, don't worry I am not suicidal but hearing horrible news totally scares me.
Anyone else have similar experiences?
Obviously there are associations with last year. This weekend was my friends birthday, i went out drinking with her and when I came home yesterday, I felt totally spaced out and my panic was at a 9/10 i'd say. But I calmed down and was ok, my mum came round to spend the evening with me. Now when I think about panic I think I am going crazy and I am scared and so I guess I am panicking about being in the same place I was last year.I have come a long way but it hasn't been easy, what if I go back to where I was?
I should be happy I have got through the weekend, I got over feeling totally anxious yesterday but I still feel sooo scared of everything.
Another thing that makes me feel awful is when I hear about bad things happening and I wonder if they could happen to me. For example my friend found out 2 of her friends hung themselves this week. That totally freaked me out! I tried to imagine how they were feeling and then began to worry I could hang myself. I don't want to, don't worry I am not suicidal but hearing horrible news totally scares me.
Anyone else have similar experiences?