Dissapointing day :(

[mjh74]

Hi all,

I know this happens to most of us when on the road to recovery(blips) but I've had a really good 3 or 4 days now and have been getting out for about an hour a day until today. I woke up this morning and found that I just couldn't stop thinking about and working my throat swallowing over and over again. I tried to do something to occupy my mind but it still seemed to override that, I had tightened the muscles in my throat so much I started to have the feeling like I wanted to retch like a "stick a toothbrush down your throat" retch. As soon as that happened I sort of kept that notion in my mind which took a while to shake off and of course, a sudden burning sensation soars around my body and a thudding heart and I'm in a panic attack. This happened at about mid day and I still feel really scared and a bit tearful.

I had a sort of mind set going where I knew how my throat felt and that it was a safe feeling and when I was anxious I was accepting that this produced a tight/despirate feeling that I would accept until dying down. I feel that all this has gone down the drain after my earlier attack and am just sitting here waiting for it to come back on and make me sick. This would mortify me as the shire thought of throwing up petrifies me anyway but to have no control over it and when I'm not even ill would just destroy me. I'm starting to worry about eating when it's tea time and I haven't done that for a fair while, let alone the thought of going out and feeling like I did earlier.

I know our anxieties are tough but just when I start to feel a bit braver I seem to get knocked back down again and each time it feels a bit harder to get back up.

Sorry to harp on, just feeling a bit disappointed after a good run,


Mark.

[sal]

Hi Mark

Sorry you havent had such a good day, but remember how well you have being doing and this is just one of those blips we all get.

Dont be disheartened mate and just remember all the progress you have made.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Meg]

Mark,

This is normal . I've not met anyone who had a free from blips recovery ..

Think back to what happened today and where you lost be able to control it and what thoughts it was that triggered the 'worst' bit and what you could do another time to control it .

Be pleased for few good days as progress rather than focussing on a bad one

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[seh1980]

hi Mark,

Blips are very normal and we all get them. Don't let it ruin all the progress you've been making!!

Sarah :D

[mjh74]

Thanks for the reply Sal,

I still feel like I'm going through new experiences since I started to feel a bit better with the medication now kicking in. I guess this was just another one of those albeit a scary one.

And thanks Meg, I think this mornings "throat working" was caused by waking up with a lot of cattarh in it. I found myself continually swallowing and coughing to try and clear it but felt like I needed to continue swallowing, doing this was already making me feel a bit edgy. Before I knew it, the muscles had all tightened and I was swallowing really hard until I felt choked and wanting to retch. My tongue seems to spasm at the back too making it feel like I have a marble sitting on it.

I have noticed with my anxiety that it usually needs working off. I'm assuming this is the adrenaline release? Like if I feel a bit icky and I'm feeling a bit anxious, this amplifies the icky feeling. If my throat is feeling particularly bad at the time, it amplifies the throat feeling. It seems that it hits the part of me that's feeling "off". Even the eye that I've had an operation on can feel tight as well!

I'm not sure if that made sense ....

Mark x

[mjh74]

Hi Sarah,

Thanks for your reply. I'm starting to feel a little less 'nervy' now. It all just came out of the blue and shocked me a bit. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day!


Mark x

[kairen]

Hi Mark,

Sorry to hear you didnt have a good day, try not to think to much about it you are doing so well so just focus on that, we all have those little blips, they just get less and less and easier to control, keep up with the getting out and about even if it is just a quick walk,

hope you are feeling a bit calmer now, PM me anytime if u want i'm never far away LOL sad eh !!!

take care hun,

kairen x

[Meg]

*waking up with a lot of cattarh in it* Get up , have a good cough and nose blow and go and get a large drink and try to counter it that way insread if there is another time.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[mjh74]

Ok thanks Meg, I will try that in the future.


Mark.

[nomorepanic]

Mark

Sorry to hear you are having a bad day. I still get the throat thing as well and I know how scary it can be. I have had a sore throat on and off for 4 weeks now as well but I am trying to get it better naturally rather than go to docs.

Sucking sweets helps to keep the throat moist so I do that. You can even suck an ice cube - that is very cooling on the throat.

Hope you feel better soon mate.
x

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Mark

Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. You take care of yourself and dont forget we are here for you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[henri]

hi mark,
sorry you've had such a miserable day. i know how it feels when a panic attack comes out of nowhere after a few good days - it's so frustrating. it's hard, but i think the way to beat it is to try and focus on all the good progress you've made. (do you keep a diary? looking back over past entries helps me when i'm feeling down).
the throat thing is so scary - i get it and i know how awful it can feel. have you tried doing a relaxation cd? sounds weird, but it really helps all your muscles relax.
hope tomorrow is a better day for you,
henri x

[sal]

Hi Mark

I hope you have had a good sleep and have a much better day today.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[mjh74]

Hi all and thanks for your replies!

I've tried the boiled sweet and chewing gum Nicola, the chewing gum seems to create more syliva which is welcome since the pills I'm on are causing me a really dry mouth. I haven't tried the ice cube though and will do next time I get panicy!

As for the relaxation CD Henri, I haven't tried one yet. That is going to be my next step I think. I just find it REALLY hard some days to channel my concentration away from my throat. It's so daft yet as you say, can feel so scary :(.

And thanks Sal, it's lovely to know you're here to listen to me rant. It's such a horrible thing to obsess about and sometimes feels impossible to cope with. Even with distraction, I still worry that I'm always going to be chased by this and that distraction isn't always easy to find.

Today so far has been very dull here and I feel a bit flat and nervous still so I'm just doing what I can to try and get on with the day.


Mark xxx

[sal]

Hi Mark

Hope the day improved for you.

Take care.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.