Rob1977
29-08-08, 00:25
I’d like to start off by saying hello to everyone. This is an excellent site with a tremendous amount of accessible information along with members that provide admirable support for one another.
I am a 31 year old male. I have been physically active my entire life. I still presently lift weights, bike, run, and study kung fu. In my teens I started adopting a healthy lifestyle. After experimenting with alcohol in my teens I did not touch the stuff between the ages of 17 and 28. At 28 I started drinking wine and the occasional beer which does not add up to more than one or two drinks per week. I’ve never smoked and never taken any recreational drugs. I take my vitamins, watch the junk food (though I enjoy the occasional treat), and eat my fruits and vegetables.
It would be accurate to say that I have had social anxiety since I was a child. I don’t have issues meeting new people or being in crowds, but I hate being the centre of attention. I also find that I’m uncomfortable in groups of people more than 5 because I feel a different kind of mentality takes over. While I admit to this anxiety, I am reluctant to label it because it has not been overly debilitating. I may avoid going out to a party but I make the best of it while I am at one.
For the most part, I’m considered by most to be fairly laid back. I don’t sweat the small stuff, or for the most part, the big stuff either. I am married, have a loving wife, have a good career, and have a supportive family. Life is good and I enjoyed it…up until 5 weeks ago.
While at work I was dealing with a coworker who was questioning the integrity of my work, I had not eaten anything all day and I had just drank a latte. I started to feel a little tight in the chest, short of breath, and I could feel my heart beating. I took my pulse and it felt like beats were being missed.
I work just down the street from a hospital so I checked myself into the emergency room. The doctor took two ECG’s and told me she caught a couple of extra beats that were completely benign. I felt a little better when she told me this but this did not last for long.
For the past 5 weeks I have been experiencing anxiety over these beats. I notice them all the time and they seem to range from 20 to 150 each day. My family doctor looked at the ECG and told me they are PVC’s and are benign. Nonetheless, he is going to set me up for a twenty four heart trace. Blood pressure is normal, blood work came back fine.
I’ve read on here how much these PVC’s can cause anxiety. I also for the most part have convinced myself that they are benign. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about death. Sometimes I get into this mode where I think my death is imminent. Other times I think I will live to 100 but that those 70 years are going to disappear in a flash. Then I think about the incomprehensibleness of having an absence of self and it sends me into a wave of panic. When I get like this I feel completely disassociated from the rest of the world. Time seems to stop and the past, present, and future seem to be a single snapshot. I’ve never had any problems thinking about death before. I previously enjoyed pondering such heavy stuff.
I should mention that the first two weeks after going to the emergency room were the worst. 95 % of my waking hours during that time were in this state of worry about death. Two weeks after that I actually had a few days where I felt completely okay. Then I had days where I felt okay for most of the day but had episodes around midday or first thing in the morning.
Now I am at the state where I am okay for most of the day but I am still thinking about death. I took quite a few philosophy courses when I was in university and I feel it is the student in me not satisfied with the answer I am finding. I still have some anxiety usually around the midday and in the mornings, but nothing like it was a few weeks ago.
Here is my dilemma. I went to see my doctor and he prescribed 37.5 Mg of Effexor and 50 Mg of Clonazepam. He told me I should take the Effexor for six weeks and then he will look at doubling the dose. He is looking at having me on this for six months to a year. The Clonazepam is a two week supply to be taken at bedtime. He is also referring me to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist.
I have not taken the medication. Having a bachelor’s degree in psychology I know the great things that pharmaceuticals can do. However, I almost feel like it is overkill when I consider that the trigger for all of this was “benign” ectopic beats. But I also know that I have not been myself. I am more than willing to partake in some CBT.
For all of you out there that have much more experience in dealing with anxiety, I don’t know which direction I should take. Part of me feels like I have made progress and will get through this on my own. Another part of me feels like I should avoid the medication and take the CPT. Another part of me thinks the medication may give me an advantage.
I apologize for the long post and thank all of you that have read to this point, but I think I should add that the evenings for me are usually fine. From 7:00 p.m. until I go to sleep I feel great, like my old self. I also have no problems sleeping. When I wake up though, I feel like there is something that I’m forgetting…and then I think about health, death, and anxiety.
I am a 31 year old male. I have been physically active my entire life. I still presently lift weights, bike, run, and study kung fu. In my teens I started adopting a healthy lifestyle. After experimenting with alcohol in my teens I did not touch the stuff between the ages of 17 and 28. At 28 I started drinking wine and the occasional beer which does not add up to more than one or two drinks per week. I’ve never smoked and never taken any recreational drugs. I take my vitamins, watch the junk food (though I enjoy the occasional treat), and eat my fruits and vegetables.
It would be accurate to say that I have had social anxiety since I was a child. I don’t have issues meeting new people or being in crowds, but I hate being the centre of attention. I also find that I’m uncomfortable in groups of people more than 5 because I feel a different kind of mentality takes over. While I admit to this anxiety, I am reluctant to label it because it has not been overly debilitating. I may avoid going out to a party but I make the best of it while I am at one.
For the most part, I’m considered by most to be fairly laid back. I don’t sweat the small stuff, or for the most part, the big stuff either. I am married, have a loving wife, have a good career, and have a supportive family. Life is good and I enjoyed it…up until 5 weeks ago.
While at work I was dealing with a coworker who was questioning the integrity of my work, I had not eaten anything all day and I had just drank a latte. I started to feel a little tight in the chest, short of breath, and I could feel my heart beating. I took my pulse and it felt like beats were being missed.
I work just down the street from a hospital so I checked myself into the emergency room. The doctor took two ECG’s and told me she caught a couple of extra beats that were completely benign. I felt a little better when she told me this but this did not last for long.
For the past 5 weeks I have been experiencing anxiety over these beats. I notice them all the time and they seem to range from 20 to 150 each day. My family doctor looked at the ECG and told me they are PVC’s and are benign. Nonetheless, he is going to set me up for a twenty four heart trace. Blood pressure is normal, blood work came back fine.
I’ve read on here how much these PVC’s can cause anxiety. I also for the most part have convinced myself that they are benign. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about death. Sometimes I get into this mode where I think my death is imminent. Other times I think I will live to 100 but that those 70 years are going to disappear in a flash. Then I think about the incomprehensibleness of having an absence of self and it sends me into a wave of panic. When I get like this I feel completely disassociated from the rest of the world. Time seems to stop and the past, present, and future seem to be a single snapshot. I’ve never had any problems thinking about death before. I previously enjoyed pondering such heavy stuff.
I should mention that the first two weeks after going to the emergency room were the worst. 95 % of my waking hours during that time were in this state of worry about death. Two weeks after that I actually had a few days where I felt completely okay. Then I had days where I felt okay for most of the day but had episodes around midday or first thing in the morning.
Now I am at the state where I am okay for most of the day but I am still thinking about death. I took quite a few philosophy courses when I was in university and I feel it is the student in me not satisfied with the answer I am finding. I still have some anxiety usually around the midday and in the mornings, but nothing like it was a few weeks ago.
Here is my dilemma. I went to see my doctor and he prescribed 37.5 Mg of Effexor and 50 Mg of Clonazepam. He told me I should take the Effexor for six weeks and then he will look at doubling the dose. He is looking at having me on this for six months to a year. The Clonazepam is a two week supply to be taken at bedtime. He is also referring me to a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist.
I have not taken the medication. Having a bachelor’s degree in psychology I know the great things that pharmaceuticals can do. However, I almost feel like it is overkill when I consider that the trigger for all of this was “benign” ectopic beats. But I also know that I have not been myself. I am more than willing to partake in some CBT.
For all of you out there that have much more experience in dealing with anxiety, I don’t know which direction I should take. Part of me feels like I have made progress and will get through this on my own. Another part of me feels like I should avoid the medication and take the CPT. Another part of me thinks the medication may give me an advantage.
I apologize for the long post and thank all of you that have read to this point, but I think I should add that the evenings for me are usually fine. From 7:00 p.m. until I go to sleep I feel great, like my old self. I also have no problems sleeping. When I wake up though, I feel like there is something that I’m forgetting…and then I think about health, death, and anxiety.