just need 2 have a moan

[titchjd]

Hiya every1 I just need 2 get stuff off my chest .
My ex is getting married 2moz we were 2 getha 15years and hes a gud guy hes marrying a lovely person and she fantastic with my daughter .....I just feel strange thinking it should have been me ..and why has he managed 2 move on and Ive descended over the years .

My daughter is bridesmaid and Im not going 2 see her and its hard as its an important day in her life that i wont see ..as a mom i want 2 see everything .......They are doing me a video and photos but will be sooo strange seeing ex marry some1 else .

Im happy 4 them as they gud people so why do I feel the way I feel ..1 day Im ok next day i feel wow hes getting married .

I think if I had not had my struggles i would be ok but then my struggles have been somewhat caused by the fact I have had a daughter 2 bring up on my own and pay mortgage etc with no support and I wouldnt change that 4 anything I love her 2 bits and she is a fantastic girl ..its just time 4 me 2 move on with my life but find it hard ...x

well thanx 4 reading and hope u havent gone 2 sleep haha x

sorry 2 go on but just had 2 get it off my chest xx

[EmmaJane]

Hi titcjd,

Hope your daughter does enjoy her day. Although, I can understand what you are saying. I don't know the situation, but do you still have feelings for him. Hence, not being able to move on etc?

I don't know, its a difficult one, but hopefully in time, you will find someone you can settle down with and move on.

I have been in a similar situation...

[jodie]

awww:hugs:

i really feel for you on this one i can see how you would want to see your little girl tomoz.
i think you are being brave and doing the right thing ,you will move on in the end hun it just takes more time i guess for others .


jodie xxxx:bighug1:

[ladybird64]

Why do you feel this way?
Titch hun, you were with this guy for 15 years, I would be amazed if you didn't feel something!
You are moving on with your life, you have had to struggle but have brought up your daughter and coped with lots of other stuff..give yourself some credit for doing a fantastic job!
It's the most natural thing in the world to occasionally think "if only things had been different", I think it's in our human nature to do this and doesn't make you a lesser person.

AngieX

[EmmaJane]

Why do you feel this way?
Titch hun, you were with this guy for 15 years, I would be amazed if you didn't feel something!
You are moving on with your life, you have had to struggle but have brought up your daughter and coped with lots of other stuff..give yourself some credit for doing a fantastic job!
It's the most natural thing in the world to occasionally think "if only things had been different", I think it's in our human nature to do this and doesn't make you a lesser person.

AngieX

Thats very true Angie.

I cant type to much at the mo, got tennis elbow and in pain, but some of these posts, I want to write more to :-(

[ladybird64]

Sorry to hear that Emma, I had the same thing a few years ago, ouch! :weep:

Don't overdo it with the typing!

[titchjd]

oh thanx 4 yr replies .....Ido care 4 him but its cus ive known him since i was 15 im now 35 so 20years ..and we have achild 2getha but we just fell out of love 6years ago and it was the ryt thing at the time but there is always that doubt could we have made it work ......even though deep down I dont think we cud .....Ithink its cus im still in exactly same place as 6years ago well worse ....i dont go out ive put on weight and his partner is young and very very pretty and also a lovely person ...I do wish them well as shes fantastic with my daughter and they have 2 other children 2 getha but neva leave my daughter out .....i mean they takin them all on honey moon 4 a week .......but then i get fed up as i think ive struggled 2 bring up our daughter while hes managed 2 go out and meet sum 1 new and have a new life .......xgod i sound bitter and twisted but im not i just find it hard x

i just know 2 moz i will be wanting 2 see my daughter and will feel sad she asks why im not going but i wasnt invited which is fair enuf whod want their exs at their wedding ha x

well thanx 4 replies xx
big hugs 2 u all x

[lorac]

Hi

I really do understand how you feel. Me and my ex husband were together for 13 years and despite the fact that I left him and moved on and re-married on the day of his wedding I had some really strange feelings. My two daughters were his bridesmaids and of course i didn't get to see them in their dresses and I felt really upset.

I hope your daughter has a really lovely day and I'm sending you a big hug.

Carol

[titchjd]

thank u carol .....it is hard becus we have been seperated 6 years and they have 2 children 2 getha and they cum 2 my daughters bday partys etc and its never been a nasty seperation we have always worked hard at doing the best 4 my daughter ..strange though as i put my daughter and not ours .....at end of day he has his family now and a new wife 2moz.....so i find my feelings hard 2 understand ....i just feel weird that hes getting married and its not 2 me xxxxi always thought we wud be 2 geva 4 eva x

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[pooh]

Hi Titch!

I got divorced about three years ago and when my ex finally got a gf that he showed some commitment too I asked myself...how do I feel about this? He's now moving in with her and will be further away and contact for our son due to his work commitments and the travel involved has now dropped down to one night a week. As he has moved on with his life I have asked myself at each major stage how do I feel about this?
I think the reason is because I have always had contact and I do consider him a friend. I suppose that now the priorities in his life are changing ( I dont mean that he is abandoning our son they have a close relationship) but as he changes so do all of the relationships in his life and that includes ours.
I am not in love with my ex hubby but I do acknowledge that I care deeply for him. I know that he cares for me. I myself have moved on and live with someone I am very much in love with and yet how do i feel about this continues? Like yourself this is largely fuelled by my son because I worry about how changes in his dad's life will affect him. I also believe that when my marriage and relationship ended i went through a process of grief because it is akin to a death. I think like when someone passes we always feel that grief sometimes even though it passes and eases with time.

Wishing you good cheer Titch

Pooh xxxxx

[titchjd]

Thanx Pooh ..i agree its like a process of grief .and we are good friend still but he has moved on with his life and has moved further away so only sees daughter once aweek .
I think its hard 4 me as I have not met any1 else so still only have ex think of when I feel lonely xx

take care Pooh xxx