Weekend Away!! - I survived!

[LisaS]

hi all!

I'm not really sure i should be posting in this bit but i guess it is a success for me! I always feel i'm not worthy yet to be in here!
as some of you may know, i was going to devon for a long weekend - 4 hrs away from where i am, to see my mum.
After crying the whole way round the M25, chewing my fingers to the bone - we got there... I felt such a lot of anxiety for the first day or so,being away from my 'safe' home and never thought i would get thru it, but there were times when i had a really great time. We even went out for dinner - soemthing i've been dreading.. and i did that also! I even laughed on occasions and forgot all my worries. (apart from usual mother driving my completely nuts as usual-why do mothers have the ability to do that!)
:D
however..[Sigh...] why is it, as soon as you feel good you think, oh i feel good but what about my anxiety/depression and WHAM there it is again!!! Ive been reading lots of positive books and trying to keep myself 'up' but it really takes some hard work..
Now i'm back home and so glad to be back.. but i'm like.. what shall i do now? my head just says, just live.. its like i'm almost waiting for something bad to happen!
anyway.. i went on a trip! i'll enjoy that for the moment. Thanks guys for all your support! i just had so many things going round my head when i was feeling bad, that i'd read from you lovely people. I even made my hubby play the word association game with me for 3 hours on the way there to keep my mind off it! poor sod.
thanks again,
Lisa
xxx

[kairen]

Hi Lisa,

Glad you had a good time, i think it just takes a bit of time for your body to accept that your not going to fly into a panic, and your just on guard incase it does, LOL if that makes any sence, it does get better, i still have odd blip but it seems to be getting easier i dont have to try as hard to push away those feelings

hope this helps a bit LOl
i'm not very good at putting things into words


kairen x

[Meg]

Lisa,

Very well done to have gone and enjoyed it too !

Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Well done on the M25 - I hate that road!!!!

You did so well to cope and manage to do all that you did.

I hope it continues to improve for you now.

Nicola

[Karen]

Well done Lisa. Glad you had a good time.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[EmmaJane]

Hi Lisa,

Im not going to go on. But I can relate to everything you have said. Especially about waiting for something bad to happen, when you feel good. My parents also live in Devon,

Well done for surviving the journey and hopefully each one will get better for you.

Take care

Feel free to PM me, if you want to talk.

Emma xx

Keep focused, keep positive.

[sal]

Hi Lisa

Well done you and pleased you had a good time.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[seh1980]

Well done Lisa!! :D

[pips]

Ah Lisa,:D

I'm so pleased for you hun! You did so well![Yeah!]:D

I know what you mean when you do domething so positive you often wait for the negative to follow![Duh!][Oops!][V] Im terrible for doing that! Just tell yourself there isn't going to be a negative and keep up that POSITIVE thinking![Yeah!][^]

You mentioned being away from your safe home. One Quote I find useful when I'm away is: "HOME HAS NO MAGICAL POWERS TO KEEP YOU SAFE - YOUR SAFE PLACE LIES WITHIN YOURSELF"

I find it helps me if I can keep telling myself that my safe place is in me somewhere though I have to search for it at times! LOL [:P]

Glad you had a good time.

Take Care, ;)

Love PIP'S X X

[sal]

Hi Lisa

How are things?

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[LisaS]

hi Sal,
thanks so much for your concern!
yesterday was the anniversary of my dads death, but i got thru it much better than i thought.
I did feel a bit weird being back home actually but I guess its just another step on the ladder..
went to work today and my body/mind kept trying to have a panic but i kept talking myself out of it (in my head of course) and managed to keep it under wraps - yay! and just thought, well i haven't had one for weeks so one is nothing to worry about.
have just been to have my first session of cbt and she really delved into my past and now i have come out feeling like i dont know who i really am? am at a bit of a crossroads in my life i think and it makes me feel quite lost.
sorry - bit of a longer response than i thought!
take care,
Lisa
xxx

[sal]

Hi Lisa

Pleased you coped okay with the anniversary of your dads death, they are never easy but in time they do get easier.

When you first start your CBT you will feel abit lost as to who you are and where you life is going but remember this is the solid ground they are setting to get you back on track and build on that.

It really helped me and made me accept my limitations and why some questions of my childhood affected my everyday life and in some way still do but at least i understand them now.

Chin up hun it will get easier.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[LisaS]

thanks sal,
i appreciate it..
i'll try and view it as my building blocks then. I think i've spent my whole life trying to please people and do what people think i should be doing, and what stage in life youre meant to be at at age 30. She really pointed this out and i never realised before which is why i feel like, what do I want for me!? sounds kind of selfish though but its my life i guess.
thanks again,
Lisa
xxx

[sal]

Lisa

That is the way to look at it, it is your life and once that is in order you can then be your person, the person people know and love.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.