Being home alone - please reassure me.

[Malton Seadog]

I've had a terrible few days.

Basically, as you may have read elsewhere, my mum is on holiday and my girlfriend has gone home for a week or two. (We met at Uni, so still live at home during the summer).

Since they both went, my anxiety and sleeplessness has heightened by about five-fold I'd say.

Usually, I'd have an anxious moment perhaps twice a day for ten or fifteen minutes. Since they went away, it'd been pretty constant with perhaps the odd hour when I'm ok. I'm a keen football fan, and when I was at the football I was absolutely fine. I guess it's the whole thing about taking your mind off it.

So - can someone reassure me - when my mum gets home on Tuesday, I really want my anxiety to return to it's normal levels, as this sort of anxiety is almost unsustainable.

I think being alone is a big problem for me, so hopefully some constant company again will be good for me and I can return to normal.

Talking to my girlfriend on the phone last night for 30 minutes also helped a great deal.

Has anyone else ever experienced this 'Alone anxiety', and does it get better when someone returns?

[mothermac]

This sounds like separation anxiety and the fact that you know you are on your own for a short while.I also have some form of this as when my husband went to Leicester a few yrs ago on business you would think he was going away for 2 years the way I carried on,I cried so much seeing him off on the train and felt sick all the time whilst he was away,I phoned him about 20 times and even though I had my daughter with me(she was only 2 then though)it didn't really help.I do know it is an irrational fear we have because I managed to get through it it's just the thought that you are alone without anyone else there and your mind plays tricks,it's the anxiety you know(lol)
Have you any mates who could stay the night or if you are feeling really crap you could sit up and watch tv or a film until you fall asleep in the chair,it will be morning before you know it.I really feel for you in this as the anxious feelings you have intensify when your normal routine gets disturbed. It's good you have the football to take your mind off it and like you said your'e ok when you are there as your mind is on something else. In answer to the question of it getting better when anyone returns,then for me yes it did,as soon as my husband came home you wouldn't think anything had been wrong.He remembered how bad I had been though and said you need to get help with this which is why I am waiting for counselling at the moment.I have a fear of loss steming from my childhood(my dad died when I was 11) and I need to sort my head out about it but I think that is where my anxiety comes from.Hope this has helped and it won't be long now until Tuesday(take care).

[Pink Panic]

Hiya,

I experience this when my partner goes Offshore ..... he's away for 2 weeks at a time which isn't easy to cope with after he's been around 24/7 for 2 and sometimes 3 whole weeks at a time. I think distraction is the key whether it's on here, the telly, cleaning or whatever keeps your mind occupied. The other thing that helps me is being in a routine of getting up, washed and dressed and having things that i know need doing so that i feel i am engaged in useful activites and not sitting around thinking. My family visit quite a few times which also helps and even chatting to a mate on msn can be good.
You will feel better when they return .... i promise you and you will also feel the sense of achievment that you coped on your own and got through difficult times which in turn will help when they have to go away again.
Hope this helps and you are feeling less anx today. :hugs:

Pink
xxx

[Malton Seadog]

Thanks for the great replies!

At the moment, I have numb feelings towards my girlfriend during the day which I spoke about in another thread. I'm hoping these too will die down once my mum returns.

It's just the old thing of having too much time to think.

Last night, I was almost at breaking point but my sister brought me home and gave me a big hug and said "Get in there, put the kettle on, ring your girlfriend, have a bath and go to bed".

And do you know what - it worked! I was asleep as soon as I hit the pillow, and I slept for EIGHT hours!!