Getting really concerned now- Can't stop these thoughts

[tashbarnes87]

Hello, i am 20 weeks pregnant and for the past week ish i have had a dry throat, tickly cough, tight chest, feeling like theres something stuck in my throat, a tickly feeling and a feeling like mucus is stuck in my thoaat i was convinced at first it was lung cancer, after seeing an emergancy GP on Saturday he said that my lungs sounded fine and he felt my neck and the only thing he said was my thirod gland was slightly enlarged and to mention it to my GP when i next see him. I am now convinced its Thiroid cancer.

My GP isnt back until next week and i have sunk so far in to my depression, i cry all the time and i am convinced that this is it. I actually believe im going to die and i really dont know what to do or how to deal with it. What could these symptoms be :(

[jannnne]

Oh poor you, I have had for about 6 weeks now a dry cough that feels like asthma but isnt, as though I have to cough when I breathe out, my throat feels lumpy like there is something in it and a slight tight feeling in my chest. I am hoping that this is acid reflux and not my fear of cancer of the larynx/throat. I have had some lymph nodes up and my glands seem up under my chin. I have been trying not to go to docs but am going on Wednesday. I have only just had a mole HA crisis, I feel so bad going again but I shall just worry myself sick. I am sure it is Acid Reflux and especially as you are pregnant I am sure that is what it will be for you too. Your bump will be quite high up I expect and maybe just irritating you stomach. Try not to worry I know its hard, I keep thinking I am going to to die to, its really scary and I know what you mean by sinking in to your depression it seems such a long way back. Try to think of it as acid reflux I am sure the chances that it is anything else are very very unlikely for us both. Lots of love to you and a big hug. I will let you know how I get on on Wednesday.xxx

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Joannne, thank you for your response, i'm just seem to be going mad and its affecting my life and all i keep thinking about is how that i wont get to see my baby grow up. Its the worst feeling in the world and i just dont know what to do.

Acid reflux could be a cause i just wish the doctor would say 'yes you def have acid reflux' and 'you def dont have cancer'. As horrible as it is i am glad i am not alone in feeling like this its comforting to know im not insane :(

Thanks againx

[jannnne]

I am sure you will see you baby grow up...My health anxiety always flares up after a particularly happy time. ie. Christmas and this time we were having our last big family holiday before my teenagers jump ship, I know I was really emotional about this time away together and it was the anniversary of my mums death. Deep down I know this is behind all this, but you are right you do need your doctor to tell you that you are definitely ok. Is there another GP you could see sooner? I know I shall not be happy until mine has told me I am ok. You are not insane, everyone is anxious when they are pregnant it is such an emotional roller coaster.. you just need some TLC and reassurance.

[joyce1980]

Hmm this is what I am scared of.........
This is how i act when i am off my paroxetine medication

You are quite into your pregnancy so it will be something you can ask your Dr about, that's the only thing that makes my thoughts STOP!!

I know taking anti depressants is something to think about but when you are this far gone you need to tell your Dr or councellor

4weeks after taking them this crap just stops and you take a deep breath and start to get on with life.

I understand how you now think that you have thyroid cancer...I'm so sorry you have to go through this!!! call your Dr and say that it can't wait and speak to someone else or go to your nearest walk in clinic and speak to a psyc nurse. Make sure that you tell them whats going through your mind and don't just tell them about your symptoms... tell them you keep thinking you are sick and your thoughts are going 1000 miles per hour

I'll bet you can't sleep and when you wake up in the morning your ok for a few seconds until you start thinking again.
checking your glands every other chance you get...googling perhaps??

Trust me some Drs just don't understand how to deal with anxiety let alone health anxiety, make sure you speak up and get the help you need as you shouldn't need to feel like this.

please email me anytime

[tashbarnes87]

Hi Joyce, thank you so much for your response. I can and will phone up my doctors tommorow and book an 'emergency' appointment as they call it. I need to get it checked as i cant funtion properly i just keep thinking about what will happen next, will i be alive for Christmas, will it be my last etc. I did speak to my doctor who said at this stage he believes it can be made better with out the need for medication but i have been a lot worse since i last saw him so maybe he is wrong. He was absolutely lovely though and said i need to go and see him if i think i have something wrong so he can basically tell me there isnt anything. But because of his lovelyness i can only get an appointment with him next wednesday! But i will go and see anyone if they can just put my mind at ease about the throat etc. I have been made so much worse by using google, i literally put in enlarged thiroid and the second posting was cancer, and i now think i have it. To the extent that i have thought about writing my fianc'e a manual on how to look after the baby when im not around. The moment i think about it though i can feel it now, i start crying and it really hurts me. My biggest fear is not actually dying its being told i have 4 months to live etc and that i havent spent enough time with my partner, i havent hugged him enough or told him i loved him. God its making me so sad.

Any way thank you for your response

x

[jannnne]

Let us know how you get on, lots of love to you xxxxxxxx

[lilibet]

Just wondering darling, that maybe you could phone the dr's surgery now and get an appointment for late this afternonn? Tell them that its an emergency and your pregnant. If i phoned my surgery now i'd be able to get an appointment at short notice so im sure that they could fit you in. You need to talk to someone if only a nurse or midwife or another dr. What do you think

Lilibet x x

[kellie]

Tash hunny i could have wrote that post
I had every single symptom you are getting and still get it from time to time, the only thing that has helped me along was knowing that my anx was the cause of it all.
It took my doc months and various tests to prove to me and of cause the ppl on here that it was my anx.
I thought i had lung cancer also so my doc had xrays done and they were all clear, so i then decided it was throat cancer.
Here is how she explained it to me

When we are feeling anx are throat muscles go tight and the lump sensation will appear
Are throats think there is an obstruction and will produce extra mucus to try and clear this.
The more anx we get about this the tighter our throats can get, even to a point where we may have trouble swallowing or feeling like we do.
your glands are only up as a defence against infection that the body can imagine is there
Honestly hun your anx is the reason this is happening to you and you need to try to relax
Make sure you are not clenching your jaw or holding your tongue to the roof of your mouth as will make it worse
When you do manage to cough up some mucus spit it out ... do not swallow it back down.
This will improve but you must relax about this and stop thinking it is something worse

Take care and pm me if you need to

kellie.xxxxxxxx

[joyce1980]

Anytime Tash.

Try to stay away from the google and try not to ask friends and family what they think is wrong with you, that makes it worse.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

x x x x

[tashbarnes87]

Hello all, well what a difference a night makes. I had actually hit the lowest point yesterday and i was at work when i was writing those posts. My partner picked me up and the moment i saw him i burst in to tears and cried untill there was no tears left, we went home and finally we talked about things and all night he didnt leave me alone to think. He kept talking to me about the random of things and i laughed and it felt great. I have woke up this morning and my chest heavyness has gone, my throat is still sore and i have the blocked up feeling in my throat but i feel like a massive weight has been lifted. I am no where near feeling normal and bad thoughts keep seeping in to my head but i am trying my hardest to forget about them. The throat thing is really annoying me now so i think i may still go to the doctors tommorow as i just want him to tell me its ok but i feel a little bit better

thanks for all your messages, i am so glad i came across this site
x