CBT

[seh1980]

hello everyone,

Had a bit of an emotional and revelationary experience today. I went for my CBT assessment, which at first I thought had gone really badly. Firstly, I discovered this morning before going that I had thrown out the piece of paper telling me where the appointment would take place. [Duh!] So ended up driving to different hospitals and asking. Finally, one woman called around and found out where I was meant to be.

So...turned up 15 min late and the guy called me in. Ed had been for CBT here is Durham and had seen a young trainee who had no idea what he was doing and proved to be useless so I didn't have much hope. I was pleasantly surprised to see that this guy was about 50 and looked like he knew what he was doing. When I walked into the room, I was surprised to see another woman there (she was the note-taker) and a box of tissues next to my seat. I thought to myself "wow, people actually come in here and cry??" Silly me. 20 min later I was sobbing my eyes out!! I had no idea that they asked such personal questions!! I ended up telling him things from my childhood that I haven't told anyone before (even Ed!!).

This may sound silly but I had never thought that these events from my childhood had such an impact on my anxiety/panic attacks. I mean, I assumed that they played a role but until this guy pointed it out, I didn't realise what a LARGE role they played. He literally sat there and connected things from my past to my present. Very scary!!

Only thing now is that I have to wait 2-4 months for my first appointment..

Sarah

[nomorepanic]

Sarah

At my CBT assessment they had a tick list that they seemed to be scoring me against.

E.G.

Do you feel like you don't want to live anymore - tick
Have you lost all interest in sex - tick
Do you feel that you can't cope with life - tick

etc etc

Then they talked to me a bit and then decided that I was "ill" enough for some help lol!

I am pleased that it helped even though you got upset - that will be good to get it all out in the open though and open up about it.

Pleased you felt it helped though so let's hope the next sessions go well too.


Nicola

[sal]

Sarah

Sorry you got mixed up where to go, but i hope you appointment comes through as soon as rather than later as in my opinion it really does help.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Meg]

Its amazing what we harbour within ourselves ..Sarah ..

Hope it comes through soon and is helpful.


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[kairen]

hi sarah glad u got there in the end, do you feel it has helped you,


kairen x

[alexis]

Hi sarah, it is mentally exhausting isnt it, im sure in the long run you will feel better for todays events.
it is a shame you have such a long wait for the next meeting.
You will feel better for getting things in the open just maybe not today.
You know where we all are Sarah if you need us, yes in the forum getting you drinks in, seriously though I am with you all the way.take care and stay strong, love Alexis.xx

[henri]

hey sarah,
you know what they say, better out than in!
these things can be so mentally draining, but i really believe they are helpful and worth it in the end.
is there no way you can hurry the next appointment along?!?
henri x

[seh1980]

hi guys,

Thanks for your replies!! Yes, I think the CBT will help. The guy made it sound like it's exactly what I need.

After my stressful day, I had a horrible night. I went to bed quite early cos I was meant to go into Newcastle this morning for research. Suddenly, my head felt like it was on fire and so did my feet. I had never had this feeling before and started freaking out cos I had my hair dyed yesterday and was thinking that maybe I'm allergic to it, etc. It finally got too much and the panic started rising. :( I called Ed in and he talked to me and I controlled my breathing and the panic passed, thank goodness. I really thought I was heading for a full-blown attack. I guess it was just the stress of yesterday. I hadn't realised how much it had got to me..

Sarah :D

[kairen]

Hi Sarah,

You have my moby, u shud have text me wud have met u in town for cuppa, maybe next time hope your feeling a bit better hun big hug xx

kairen x

[lainey]

Hi Sarah

Hope you are feeling better today.
I'm glad your appt went well and letting it all out will help you in the long run I'm sure.
I have had the head burning too and it's not nice is it!!!

Take care chuck

Elaine x

[LisaS]

hi Sarah,

I had my first CBT appt today too!
I had a nice lady a bit mum-like, grey hair, 50 ish.. like a fairy godmother! she also went right into my childhood and made me realise so much i never thought of before about my beliefs in things and why i would be anxious about certain things.. a real eye opener.. but like i told Sal, it has made me feel quite empty and like i dont know myself as well as i thought and like i have to reinvent myself or something!
can't wait til my next one! we will have to compare notes!
good luck,
Lisa
xxx

[seh1980]

hi guys,

Thanks a lot for your support!! I'm feeling better today though I have had palpitations on and off and I very rarely get them.

Kairen - we will have to meet up sometime soon hun!!

Lisa - Yes, we will have to compare notes!! I know what you mean about not knowing yourself well enough. I felt the same. :D

[pips]

Hi Sarah,

Glad you got there in the end hun!

It's amazing how much stuff we keep inside as Meg said! I wondered why they had the tissues there to! When i used to go! I was blubbing away like a good un as well!

I hope you don't have to wait to long for your appointment and I do hope it benefits you hun!

I'm glad your feeling better today.

Take care,

Love PIP'S X X

[seh1980]

Thanks for that Pips!! :)

Well, am feeling up and down today. Still have the palpitations, which I have hardly ever had in the past. Can't help but feel that I'm going backwards here!! Getting new anxiety symptoms isn't a good sign, is it?? I'm dreading going to bed tonight as that seems to be when it all kicks off..:(

Sarah

[tasha]

Hi Sarah,

I hope you're feeling better today and that your research interviews went well.

The symptoms that you are feeling are related to the CBT session but it doesn't mean you are going backwards - it actually means you are getting better! I know that might seem a little strange but having been through counselling and some CBT, I'm always told by my counsellor that when you first go through counselling, things can go up and down. It doesn't mean you're getting worse....talking can trigger off emotions that you weren't expecting. Just keep in there - it's such a shame that you have to wait so long but you seem such a strong person :)

Anxiety can be linked to childhood experiences too - a good book to read is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay as she talks about how childhood can effect how we see and experience the world when we are adults. I've only just started reading it and amazed at how it makes so much sense.

I hope this helps and I also hope it all makes sense!

Tasha

[Meg]

Sarah,

Think its shows you're moving energy and moving on inside so not a bad thing ..


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[seh1980]

Tasha - thanks for your support. I will definitely look into that book!!

Meg - I hope you're right. :D

[LisaS]

hi Sarah,

I have also had a bad day following my CBT yesterday. has really knocked me as I got home and felt good, had a listen to my relaxation tape - felt so relaxed. then had a lovely bath with classical music and just felt so so good. then just hardly slept, having panics and anxiety just like before and today i was on edge all day with negative thinking back again.. I hope its just the CBT bringing up issues and not this returning again.
I'm with you with this.
lisa
xxx

[seh1980]

Thanks Lisa - your post made me smile. :D

[linjane]

Hi Sarah,
Sorry I haven't replied to this before I've only just spotted it!
When I had my assessment my counsellor decided I had health anxiety and its only since I've been going to see him that he delved into my childhood and made connections to then and now. Things I had never put together, he did. Very strange!
I am still not letting the emotions out though. I think I need some serious help now. We were talking, at my last session, about him discharging me, but right now I have gone back to really bad anxious state and what would I do if I get discharged and have to wait for the whole process to start again? Maybe I'm feeling so bad, because I did have quite a deep talk with him on Monday after visiting my baby's grave and everyone elses and maybe thats why I feel so bad now?
Anyway, I'll stop rambling, I was intending to post about this so I'd better shut up before I repeat myself - again!lol:D
You take care and if you want to PM me please feel free.
Love, Linda.xxx

[kerrywatts]

Hi (my 3rd post - eek)

I too went back to extreme anxiety when i was told i was gonna be discharged soon!! I think its because you rely on this person with a magic wand to tell you that you are normal!! But i did fine!!!

CBT was Fab for me and in 12/13weeks (i think it was 12 sessions over 13 weeks) i was signed off. i live a 85-90% normal life now and only have to slap myself round the face and tell myself to get a grip (LOL) every couple of weeks as oppsed to every couple of hours!

Kerry

http://frankielampard.proboards55.com/index.cgi

[seh1980]

hi Kerry,

Thanks for your reply. :) Glad to hear that CBT helped you so much!! Unfortunately, I am STILL waiting for my first real appointment. I really wish these things didn't take so long. Fingers crossed it will be my turn soon!!

Sarah :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal