Zingara
02-09-08, 11:28
Just me again... I haven't been around as much over the last couple of weeks. I don't know why really - I've just been in a strange sort of headspace and I wouldn't really know how to explain it, and I haven't felt able to give constructive advice to other people either. It's the anniversary of my surgery next week, the one which triggered my emotional breakdown... and I don't really know how I feel about it except that I know it is important for me... it's so hard to explain to people why it is important, and that makes me feel even lonelier.
I want to let go of the pain, and at the same time I feel scared of not caring any more... not that I can see that happening. It's as though I want to move on with my life and yet I don't want to at the same time... and the fact that I've felt like this for a whole year scares me.
It might sound silly, but I feel like if one day I do get over this, really get over it, then I'll believe it is possible to get over anything.
I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone... this site has helped me so much at the time when I really needed it. I feel so much for all of you as well as for myself, in all of our pain and our courage. I hope that one day we can all find peace.
I want to let go of the pain, and at the same time I feel scared of not caring any more... not that I can see that happening. It's as though I want to move on with my life and yet I don't want to at the same time... and the fact that I've felt like this for a whole year scares me.
It might sound silly, but I feel like if one day I do get over this, really get over it, then I'll believe it is possible to get over anything.
I also just wanted to say thank you to everyone... this site has helped me so much at the time when I really needed it. I feel so much for all of you as well as for myself, in all of our pain and our courage. I hope that one day we can all find peace.