so scared,can`t believe it`s anxiety

[mila]

It`s a long post so please forgive me...
Hi all,
I tried to post last night but it didn`t work out[Oops!] . The first time I forgot to log in,and than i tried again and that time i forgot to put the subject! I just couldn`t do it again [V],it took me half an hour each time i tried[:I]...
I`ve just been feeling absolutely horrible for the past eight days or so.I feel i don`t know what to do with myself anymore,i feel so scared. It started last tuesday literally all of a sudden. I was feeling a bit giddy,my husband was getting ready to go to work and i felt a bit aprehensive about staying on my own,i was scared i may start feeling worse. So just when he was about to leave i started feeling i can`t breathe,i can`t breathe in, i started to freak out the very minute, i was panicing like never before,i started asking him to call in sick, i was in a real state,i feel so ashamed telling you guys this...i was running around in panic,almost screaming, i just wanted him to take me to see someone straight away,i felt doomed,like i can`t believe what `s happening to me.And than i felt something in my chest which made me believe even more that there must be something really wrong this time,or maybe it was all the other times too,but they just didn`t look hard enough. I had this feeling it was so hard to explain to the doctor later,
<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote"> [quote] [quote] [quote]i told her it felt like my lungs were irritated,but she said i would be coughing too than.But now hen i think it`s more like that feeling when you`re running fast and maybe not breathing properly or maybe breathing through your mouth...i don`t know if this means something,i`m not really sure if it is like that really cause i don`t remember when i ran the last time:) At that moment i just remember thinking that must be what it feels like after you`ve had an asthma attack...I`m thinking about asthma and breathing all the time since my husband`s got it,i started having breathing difficulties so much more often and scarier since i`ve met him...Anyway,i spent all of that day alone despairing.I went to the doctors tomorrow,she said i was fine and it does sound like anxiety,the tightness,so that was it. When i came back from her it started to be worse. The tightness got worse. I started feeling fainty and shaky and i thought it must be cause i don`t have enough air,i was freaking out.So i went to the hospital and saw out of hours doctor and he told me the same thing-anxiety can be quite consuming... Well that didn`t help since i still felt the same way and was losing my mind. I`m in a state ever since, i can`t think about anything, i try to relax and go passed it,but than it gets to me and i feel like i`m going frenzy inside...I feel this lump in my throat too and sometimes like my throat is tight too and i feel like it`s difficult to speak loud,like i can`t be bothered speaking,like i can`t let my voice out ,like it`s hard work,just like breathing feels hard work...it scares me too just like the other feeling i described(or not so well [8)]) ,it makes me scared that i really can`t breathe,that it`s not just muscle tightness or whatever...Anyone ever felt these things before? I`m frightened someone who has asthma will tell me about that other thing i described [quote]</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote"> that they feel it...I`m sorry guys i`m not being brief on this,actually being the opposite but i`m in real need of some reassurance and i support and i feel i must explain everything i feel-the tightness in my chest,i feel it in the middle,it`s so strong,sometimes feels like something`s smothering me,i can feel such a strong resistance to opening my chest that i feel like something`s pushing the air out while i try to breathe it in,i have the same feeling of a lump stuck in my throat in my chest,feels lik

[Johnny]

Mila - Hi !

Firstly - sounds EXACTLY like classic panic attack symptoms to me - just plain old anxiety - and I know anxiety !
Cognative Therapy sounds like an excellent place to start - you are on the road to recovery already.
I've had similar levels of panic lately and I'm going down the hypnotherapy route - look forward to comparing notes on our progress !

Johnny.

[mila]

hi johnny,thanks for replying,means so much.I know it sounds like panic,it just that it lasts 24 hours...i was thinking of hypnotherapy myself.

[Johnny]

You can't beat "belly breathing" to put the brakes on, check out the
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety
section from the
Welcome to the NoMorePanic Forum
post.
Try it somewhere quiet and warm and you'll be amazed. 4 in, 6 out
Just repeat, repeat, repeat no matter what - you're mind will soon be concentrating on nothing else !
My first 'proper' hypnotherapy session tomorrow (Thursday 19th), so I'll keep you posted.

Johnny.

[mila]

I do abdominal breathing,i`ve learned it with relaxation tape i tried before,and i do try to breathe like that .I don`t think i hyperventilate,because i am very concious of my breathing now especially and i am trying to breathe slow and deep...it`s the same....

[seh1980]

hello Mila,

You sound exactly like me when I panic. I find that the best thing to do is distract yourself. Something that involves both thinking and physically doing something works best for me..

Sarah :D

[mila]

Thank you so much for trying to reassure me...I am really trying to distract myself,there`s not much else i can do,but take the med,wait for the call or the letter about my therapy and try to just float with it...but i feel like there`s only so much i can endure,i go around doing things,trying to accept it,and all that and than i just cannot take it anymore,it`s just there all the time and it just overwhelms me sometimes,i just wish i could escape myself for a while,just if i could have a bit of a break....

[Jwonka]

hello, i to have had the same, i found it very hard to discribed at first i used to phone my mates and tell them that i feel 'funny' i still get the tight chest and pains but somehow after 5months i have not been panicing (doctor gave me propanolol and it seems to be working), i to felt at first how on earth could this be anxiety- i still do sometimes but after seeing doctors and going to a&e how can they be wrong, take care xxx jwonka:D

[sal]

Hi Mila

I react just like you do and i myself sometimes find it overwhelming and so scary that i cant believe it is just anxiety or panic, but over time i have let it happen rather than fighting and thankfully although exhausted and totally out of line afterwards i have got through it and you will aswell hun.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[mila]

thanks so much for the support again...have anyone felt ever the other things i described beside tightness?

[mom22]

Hi Mila,

Sounds you're scared...that emotion is feeding all the physical symptoms you're experiencing. When this first hit me I felt exactly the same way you're feeling now (I don't have asthma) - tight chest, can't breath, shaky, tight throat, can't swallow, dry mouth, achy head, the runs, thinking about it ALL the time - you name, I had it. Best advice is what others have said, distract yourself with something physical that also requires some degree of concentration (aerobics video, sing and vacuum?), get some deep breathing going and reassure yourself that you're ok. You are ok! The doctors have said so too.

Take care,
Sue

[carlin]

Hi Mila,
Reading your post was as if i had posted it myself a year ago, that was the reason i joined this site, i had all the symptoms you describe (and more), hated being left alone, the feelings were so over whelming i wanted to scream out and run outside for some-one to help, things have changed this last year, i now can manage the awful panics, although i still get them, i control them, i think i realised that it was definately anxiety, not heart attack, blood pressure, etc...i am now on my own a lot, and enjoy it now, i did go for hynotherapy last year and found this helped me short term, i used to run around like a 'mad' women wanting to get out, now i distract myself, i sing loudly, dance, absolutely anything to take my mind off of my body and it's symptoms, please be re-assured that the doctors have missed nothing and things will improve gradually, keep in touch and take care.

[mila]

:(:(:(I feel so fed up with this!!! Why can`t i stop being afraid of it? I`m so scared it`s all in vain,the cipralex i started taking , the cbt i`ll start next week, cause how can i ever stop being afraid of not being able to breathe, i`m scared that it will never go away, or if it does it will keep coming back, because i just can`t believe there`s nothing wrong with me . I know guys some of you said you`ve felt this way , i`m so grateful for your posts,really am so much, but i wish i would not hear someone actually describing the same things i feel, you know what i mean...It`s awful, doubting like i do now, i`m sure you all did at some point, believing that no one could`ve ever felt as bad as you do now...i just feel that if other people felt it as bad as i do, i`m it didn`t last like mine, since it started 10 days ago it`s the same,continously bad with the times when i lose it, lose patience with it and start panicing when i feel even worse...I have moments when i just go on, go around doing things , accepting what i feel, but i also hate myself at that moments, i think that i`ve tried all i could i`ve been to the doctor, i couldn`t go back again, so if there`s still something wrong,so be it, i feel like i`m in the mercy of God...hating myself if there`s nothing wrong,and i`m doing this to myself,but at the same time feeling self-pitty, cause i don`t really think it`s my fault...But than i have moments when i feel like i must run bak to the doctor,any doctor,and just make him look again,i feel they didn`t look properly cause it says i`ve got anxiety...just make him say that he couldn`t be more sure that there`s nothing wrong,just explain to me what happens in my body and i feel it,so i could understand and finally believe it` is really just anxiety-that all the tightness is just anxiety, and that awful feeling of smothering is just anxiety and that i am really breathing even when i feel it`s hard to speak...yeah and he could explain why i find it hard to speak loud sometimes...so i could finally finally stop doubting...as long as i doubt i`m stuck here,that`s for sure, and maybe nothing would happen to me,but my life is on hold...
Thanks all of you
Millie

[pinkscrumpy]

Hi Mila

Just wanted to say that i to wish that I could stop doubing that it is only anxiety. Its a hell of a lot easier said than done

MANDIE XX

[mila]

THANKS
I feel stupid for continuing to write about this and ask about it...but i just find it so so difficult to cope with it, i don`t remember ever feeling more frightened, more desperate for it to go away, and the thing that is the most important is that before after a year of visting doctors and doing loads of tests and checks i have n`t seen one for ages except for usual things like colds and stuff , things i felt,i believed they were anxiety, it didn`t make them go away or make me feel any better about it but it sure helped with dealing with it, there was no doubt about it and that means so much for recovery,at least for me....
But now, i feel torn between doubting and accepting. I can`t accept it because of constant doubting it`s real this time, and fearing it will just get worse and i won`t be able to breathe at all...How can I accept and do all the other things,float,let time pass and so on when whenever it gets worse(it`s constantly there just sometimes gets frighteningly worse) i feel like i want to run to the nearest doctor again...I woke up this morning,about 4 and i realised it felt really tight in my chest, i had that feeling when you feel like you`re still dreaming, and it was because i thought if i`m waking up with it it must be something wrong...it`s hard to go back to sleep afterwards cause i start fearing it will get worse ...and than when i woke up again later i had my throat tight too like someone `s pressing the part of my neck where men have adam`s apple,you know where i mean,but from the inside i think...Is that where the vocal cords are? I`ve done anatomy but if that`s the fact that may be the reason why i find my voice wierd sometimes,or find it difficult to let my voice out loudly,that the muscles there get tight cause of anxiety so that would mean it`s cause of anxiety and i can`t ever be sure about that WOW That was alot of rambling LOL I wonder will anyone understand what I was saying there lol
I am so grateful for being able to say all these things here,it makes it a bit better....
I just wanted to ask you guys if anyone felt like this could you please please try to describe to me what you felt, i know a lot of you had some kind of breathing problems but if i hear someone describing the same thing i feel and if i hear someone saying they felt it all the time like i do i may start to feel safer to accept it,and less alone in this...I just hope there is a person like that :D although i don`t really wish this on anyone and it doesn`t sound too good saying that,does it [8)] saying you wish someone else had felt so horrible too...