mtk
04-09-08, 02:53
just wanted some support. sorry if this is annoying. I'm not really sure whats going on with me but i will give the timeline and see if i relate to anyone or if in actually a lunatic. this is the first time i have spoken of any of this to such an extent
here goes:
about 5 years ago i started getting palpitations during a stressfull relationship. i didnt realize at the time that stress may be causing them and had hardly any anxiety. at least not enough for me to think about. i saw the doctor and he said they were normal and i was fine for about a year or so. a few years later out of the blue i started getting a funny feeling in my head. like my ears needed to pop and i couldnt pop them. i also had a feeling of tightness in my hear and twitching in the veins in my temples. i still get them from time to time but not as bad. after that symptom died down i usually had some sense of dizzyness or numbness or tingeling sensation. i have convinced myself that im going blind and that the room is turning white. i saw the doctor a few times because of a numbness in my arm and was radiating to my back and neck. i convinced myself that i was having a heart attack. i have skipped beats and heart palpitations, my face goes numb, my tounge goes numb, i have low blood sugar which causes me to constantly obsess over what i eat, i think im gaining weight and constantly convince myself that ive gotten fatter in the past hour, i cant exercise anymore because im afraid something will happen, and i check my pulse obsessively.
my anxeity is snowballing. if im sleeping somewhere other than my house i stay up all night thinking someone is going to come kill me, i dont like to go anywhere alone unless the conditions are perfect, every pain or minor change in my body causes me to think i have some sort of deadly illness and i constantly feel the need to flee or run away.
none of my freinds or family or doctors have any idea how bad my anxiety is. i dont want to go on medication
i dont want people to think im crazy or treat me differently
i want to be able to hang out with my friends
i want to be able to go places alone
i want to be normal.
sorry if this sounds like a sob story but i had to get it out.
any suggestions?
here goes:
about 5 years ago i started getting palpitations during a stressfull relationship. i didnt realize at the time that stress may be causing them and had hardly any anxiety. at least not enough for me to think about. i saw the doctor and he said they were normal and i was fine for about a year or so. a few years later out of the blue i started getting a funny feeling in my head. like my ears needed to pop and i couldnt pop them. i also had a feeling of tightness in my hear and twitching in the veins in my temples. i still get them from time to time but not as bad. after that symptom died down i usually had some sense of dizzyness or numbness or tingeling sensation. i have convinced myself that im going blind and that the room is turning white. i saw the doctor a few times because of a numbness in my arm and was radiating to my back and neck. i convinced myself that i was having a heart attack. i have skipped beats and heart palpitations, my face goes numb, my tounge goes numb, i have low blood sugar which causes me to constantly obsess over what i eat, i think im gaining weight and constantly convince myself that ive gotten fatter in the past hour, i cant exercise anymore because im afraid something will happen, and i check my pulse obsessively.
my anxeity is snowballing. if im sleeping somewhere other than my house i stay up all night thinking someone is going to come kill me, i dont like to go anywhere alone unless the conditions are perfect, every pain or minor change in my body causes me to think i have some sort of deadly illness and i constantly feel the need to flee or run away.
none of my freinds or family or doctors have any idea how bad my anxiety is. i dont want to go on medication
i dont want people to think im crazy or treat me differently
i want to be able to hang out with my friends
i want to be able to go places alone
i want to be normal.
sorry if this sounds like a sob story but i had to get it out.
any suggestions?