Here Goes ..............

[Hope 2]

Hi Guys :unsure:

Tomorrow I start a course of counselling. I am pretty ok about it, hopeful in fact, but I have never shared some stuff with anyone other than my best mate. I know it's gonna thrash me head and hurt like hell. So I guess I am just wanting to 'open the door'.......... somewhere I feel safe .............. for me to spill if I need too............that be okay u think ? Cos I kinda feel alone with this.

Love Jules xx

[Pansy]

When I went for therapy I really suprised myself.....................I told her everything, I'm not usually very forthcoming, but I did feel a whole lot better. Used loads of kleenex, put on sunglasses when I left, but it was worth it.

I say go for it.............don't hold back.

Lots of luck Jules

[milly jones]

go for it hunny

it is painful, but it does help

all my love

milly xxxx

[titchjd]

All the best Jules ...just tell them what you are comfortable with and just go with the flow so 2 speak ...

We are all here for you if and when needed

take care and best of luck xxx

Titch xxx

[marie1974]

hi mate course it is we all here for you and you know i am. good luck and let me know how u get on hun, i be thinking of u. hugs xxx

[Hope 2]

Hey Girlies :yesyes:


Thank you all very much. I hate this sinking feeling. Your care helps me, a lot. Bit nervous about tom aft but no pain no gain eh ????

Cheerio for now
Jules xx

[milly jones]

girlies rofl

im 43 lol

xxxxx

[titchjd]

GOOD LUCK 2 DAY :hugs: :hugs:

All the best Jules 4 2 day ..thinkin of you xxxx

big hugs :bighug1:

Titch xxxxxxxxxxx

[Hope 2]

Awwww Titch, thank you so much, your words mean a lot, really :hugs: xx

Just to let u all know how I got on this aft, well, it was an eye opener. There is loads of stuff to unravel, and I feel confused and a little overwhelmed actually. The counsellor was fab, a lovely person. I learnt a lot in that 50 minutes about myself, even though I did all the talking mostly. Nothing new there lol. I think it's gonna be okay in the end :unsure: ? Time will tell eh folks. Although I surprised myself at how open I was with her, she felt I supress my emotions, squash them right back down. It hurts though doesn't it :scared15: ............. but this can be worked on in order to heal.

I am so grateful for all your care, I can't tell you
Love Jules xx

[titchjd]

Hi jules .................glad it went well ....and feeling overwhelmed etc is normal hun .....you prob bein talking about things you dont normaly talk about ........I also squash my emotions and feelings way way in side ....but when they do come out my god its an explosion lol.....like yesterday I also went 2 counsellor and starting talking about how i dont like myself ..and last nyt I just cried and cried ...helped along with a few large vinos :blush: but i know now I have things 2 deal with x

How many sessions you having do you Know ?.....You will get there m8 ...it takes time and its a bit of a rollacoaster ..well in my opinion .....!


Hope you are ok 2 day m8 ..and well done on going 2 counselling

Im here wenever u need me

Big hugs :bighug1:

Titch x

[marie1974]

hiya my mateypies, thanks for email and well done you, i knew u would be ok cos u r strong and you really need to do this so u can learn to be at peace with yourself.

like titch says too the first couple of times are really hard and u will feel so emaotional and angry, upset etc etc and just feel mentally drained, i felt this way too and lately doing wot i have has drained me too.

we will all get there and we will all be much stronger people and so much happier, we are all nice lovely people and deserve just that.

[Hope 2]

Hello People

Sorry Titch, I am intially booked for 8 sessions. Might be able to have more if needed I dunno.

Appointment number 2 tomorrow. Have had a weird day today. Anyway I will go and let you know. But I feel a bit less hopeful .........:lac: .

Bye for now
Julia xx

[titchjd]

Hiy M8 .......good luck 2 moz hun .....
If u have had a bad day then its natural 2 feel like its not going 2 be a good as 1st time ....Ive had 3 now and each time befor i went I think oh this is waste of time but actually things do sink in even if u dont think they do .

Let me know how u get on m8 and big big hugs xxx:bighug1:

Titch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[marie1974]

hi jules have faith in yourself hun cos u know deep down u can get through this, we both know it gets hard before getting better but the outcome in the end will be closure for you, and this is wot u need.

you need to to able to look in that mirror girl and know that u are a good person, a nice person and a beautiful person, u need to like yourself hun and realise non of this was your fault.

this is a good opportunity to really start seeing the real true julia underneath all that self hatred and guilt u carrying around thats weighing u down. u got a hubby and daughter who think u are just the best and i do too and u been so good with me so wake up in the morn, paint on that war pain, take the ball by the horns (well mayb not lol) and unleash your anger and upset and hurt and guilt and begin to rid yourself of it all cos u deserve to be happy and to live free from this, so go in there and be honest and go for it kiddo and i will be here for u always hugs xx

[Hope 2]

Hey Titch and Donna xx

Thanks for giving a sh*t, it means more than u know.

If I am honest. I am so so scared. I am scared cos I feel all twisted up with hate and I don't even know why. I daren't even contemplate letting it out cos I will lose it. Big Time.

I am also freaked to even try and think about what the real me is like cos for years I haven't had a clue.

WTF is it all about eh.

Sorry, this is why I have avoided people today. That's what I do.
I put shades on this aft when I went to school cos I was full of rage and didn't wanna look at anyone. I hardly spoke to my child cos my voice was like devil woman.

Thanks for being here for me.
Jules xx

ps. my mother hasn't even asked how my initial assesment went 3 weeks ago, never mind since.

[eternally optimistic]

Well done Jules,

If you've got a counsellor that you can relate to and you can talk like mad, that's really good. Let it all out, I say. I had a counsellor like that too.

I know what you mean about what you say when you've learnt alot already.
In my sessions, albeit only 6 (NHS), I could feel the penny dropping every minute I sat there.

Hope it continues in the way you want it to.

J

[marie1974]

matey listen please its ok and u will feel like this until u dealo with it, and u need to lose it big time and let it all out hun, counselling is for that mate, just dont deck the counsellor haha, but serious please believe me that it will be ok, u know wot i been doing and god its been bloody terrible i have felt really bad, but now i done it as hard as it still is, i feel better already cos i got it all out and u MUST do the same, i am your mate and always been honest with u on here and msn and u gotta trust me hun, otherwise everything will suffer. i felt awful whilst my probs were going on cos i was dead grumpy with kids and short tempered, but i thought why should i let my parents make me feel this way and it affect my kids, no way matey, so now i much more relaxed.

i know u will do ok just stay focused and strong and b honest it dont matter if u lose it, cos i think u need to as it will b a massive release.

hugs xxx and i shut up now haha, u know i can b dead bossy mate so dont mess ;) luvya hun

[Hope 2]

Donna, Titch, Jackie :hugs:


Thanks girlies. Been having a bit of a 'breather' over weekend, but I is back lol.

Just letting you know how Friday went. Well, initially I thought this aint gonna get me nowhere. I can't even begin to let any emotion out, but I have had a long time to practice keeping a lid on it all I suppose. Towards the end of the session, the lass who I see, gave me a summary/conclusion that made perfect sense about the whole thing. I was soooooo comforted to know she 'got me' . Wow. So I am still very very reluctant and scared stiff to 'let go' But that will come in time ?? I dunno. I am so gonna keep going tho. I don't do giving up.

Thanks again girls for taking time to support me thru this :flowers: xx

Love Julia xx

[Hope 2]

Hellooooooooooooo anybody out there ........pmsl

Well I am going for number 3 appointment shortly. Got the usual apprehension going on but it will be okay, maybe, probably......

Just saying hi to everyone especially Donna, Titch and Milly as I have not been around really all week. A lot can happen in just a few days on here I hope no one feels I don't care, cos I do.


Sniff sniff lol
Luv 2 all
Jules xx

[Cathy V]

Hi Jules, they're prob out shopping or still in bed, or that savverners donna case she's probably power walking around the park by now! so i'll step in and say that i'll be thinking about you this morning and hope you get what ypu want from the session. Dont be nervous, coz if you think your counsellor 'gets you' then its gonna be ok...some ppl dont get on at all well with theirs do they. Let us know when you can how you got on.

Catch up with you later
Cathy xxx :hugs:

[Hope 2]

Hey Cathy

Thanks chuck, really. I agree, I am fortunate to have that 'understanding' with my counsellor, it is an immense relief, after all this time.

Cheers Cathy, we have missed you.
Jules xx

[titchjd]

hellllllooooo my friend Jules .........

Soz havent replied hun not bin on myself much but always thinkin of u xx

How are you ....are you seeing councelling as a positive thing .....i just had my 5th session and It makes sense but still hard 2 practice what she tells me ....xx

Hope you are ok hun and sending you big big hugs :bighug1:

carry on doing councelling youre doing brill and you know where I am if u need anything

Titch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[marie1974]

hi ya hun, i know i already mailed u but,good luck again for today i hope it all goes ok and u get something good from it matey. hugs to u xxxx

blimin scousers haha actually i was power walking cath, me in bed never up with the little birdies me, i bet that milly is out with the credit card, aving a good old spend up hehe. hugs cathy hun xxxx

we all here for u jules xxx

[Anxious_gal]

aw like you i'm in therapy have been ten times and i still am afraid to open up, i'm afraid to face my emotions i think, good to hear your managing to open up and i hope all is going well for you x