Manny
04-09-08, 22:50
Hi Everyone,
My name is Manny, and yeah I'm a girl. I use to come on here often, a few of you might remember me. I am 20 years old. I use to have a lot of panic, and depression.. anxiety attacks galore. For the past 8 months I went in this mode of just trying to ignore depression and anxiety because I tried every other way posisble to stop it. I figured university was doing a lot of it. But especially certain people that were there. People from my past, just things I couldn't ignore. So this year I moved off campus, in hopes that... I wouldn't be bothered. So when I came back to uni, just a little bit ago. I think it's not better. I spent the whole summer in my hometown (which i also hate) building this bubble of ignoring things, and i think there for a bit I was happy, or happy by ignoring things. I made this bubble of friends and things and then I had to break out of it. And I have lots of friends to come back to at uni. But I changed, and things. dont feel right.
Over the summer I have tried to forget things about focusing on my weight, eating.. not eating more like it. I started drinking, by myself morning, whenever, with people, didnt matter. Now I crave it. To feel anything but the loneliness and the anxiety sneaking back in. I feel very alone. Not that there arent people that are feeling the same way as I am. Just that there is no one in my proximity that I have access to ... talk to. But I have not talked in months. So, I doubt that'd help, i wouldn't know what to say.
I am a honour student and I'm scared I'll lose that this year in uni, because I just feel... not right. I'm freaking out a lot.. and... I want to hide. And its lame that I have tried all summer to get over things, just to come back for them to... bother me. And forgetting means lots of drinking, no eating.. and... unhealthy ways of coping.
Sigh.
Emm
My name is Manny, and yeah I'm a girl. I use to come on here often, a few of you might remember me. I am 20 years old. I use to have a lot of panic, and depression.. anxiety attacks galore. For the past 8 months I went in this mode of just trying to ignore depression and anxiety because I tried every other way posisble to stop it. I figured university was doing a lot of it. But especially certain people that were there. People from my past, just things I couldn't ignore. So this year I moved off campus, in hopes that... I wouldn't be bothered. So when I came back to uni, just a little bit ago. I think it's not better. I spent the whole summer in my hometown (which i also hate) building this bubble of ignoring things, and i think there for a bit I was happy, or happy by ignoring things. I made this bubble of friends and things and then I had to break out of it. And I have lots of friends to come back to at uni. But I changed, and things. dont feel right.
Over the summer I have tried to forget things about focusing on my weight, eating.. not eating more like it. I started drinking, by myself morning, whenever, with people, didnt matter. Now I crave it. To feel anything but the loneliness and the anxiety sneaking back in. I feel very alone. Not that there arent people that are feeling the same way as I am. Just that there is no one in my proximity that I have access to ... talk to. But I have not talked in months. So, I doubt that'd help, i wouldn't know what to say.
I am a honour student and I'm scared I'll lose that this year in uni, because I just feel... not right. I'm freaking out a lot.. and... I want to hide. And its lame that I have tried all summer to get over things, just to come back for them to... bother me. And forgetting means lots of drinking, no eating.. and... unhealthy ways of coping.
Sigh.
Emm