Problems with reality

[Ollie12]

Hi everyone,

Its been a while since i last posted on this site so hello to all!
I have recently re-lapsed after 3 years of feeling ok and i'm extemely scared at the moment. My anxiety revolves around reality and me constantly questioning it. For some reason in the past i decided to analyse reality and now everytime i come under stress my anxiety starts to kick in and i question whether the world is real and whether in fact i am in a dream world. To most people this would sound absurd but to me it is a real problem because i find myself completely taken over by these thoughts to the point where i can now no longer function normally and i am stuck in my house petrified of absolutely everything. Now i know i have been through this in the past and made it through the otherside but currently it is so overwhelming i can't look past the present feelings. My doctor has prescribed me Cipralex 20mg which i took before and diazapam for the short term to ease the tension and i have asked him to refer me for therapy. I'm only 25 and i've just bought a house, have a lovely girlfriend and a loving family but this seems to mean nothing to me at the moment. If someone speaks to me my subconscious starts to question whether they are real or whether i am alone. The suicidal thoughts i have been getting are awful as well but i have promised myself no matter what happens i would never harm myself but the thoughts worry me immensly.
I was hoping somebody could relate to my problems and perhaps offer some words of support and hope especially the extreme thoughts i am having.

I'm sorry this is so long but i needed to share it with like minded people.

Thanks
Ollie

[Veronica H]

Hi Ollie
Your sensitised nerves are trying to protect you by looking for a threat. Unfortunately they latched on to these thoughts about reality when you were really anxious. We all know that these intrusive thoughts feel very real when we are in this state. As you fear these thoughts(who would'nt) it just keeps you in a fear/panic/fear cycle.Accept the thoughts as having come back because your nerves are sensitised again and need to repair themselves- they could be sensitised with the excitement of the new house and the changes that brings etc. Do not let these thoughts have power over you. Remember that you have recovered before and you will again. Just try to rest. Take care.
Veronica

[milly jones]

just hugs hun

living there at the moment with bad thoughts

keep on nmp it will give u strength

mill xxx

[Ollie12]

Thanks you ever so much for your kind and helpful words Veronica and Milly i really appreciate them. It just seems that i've lost control of my mind and its the scariest thing i've ever experienced as i can't connect with people at the moment and i feel like i've lost touch with reality. I think deep down we all know what is right or wrong but i can't rationalise at the moment. The suicidal thoughts really scare me as well.

[milly jones]

just remember hun they are thoughts

u havent done anything

its the anx hun, ur brain playing tricks on u

hugs xxx

pls make sure that ur gp knows exactly how ur feeling asap too

[Ollie12]

I have a direct line into my GP, he is really helpful and he knows how unpleasant it is for me which is good. I'll cling to the positives and hopefully my mind will works its way around the mess.

Thanks
Ollie

[feels_like_home]

I was doing well for about a year and then during the summer I started to feel all the old feelings come back. I feel that I am in a dream and cannot connect to the people around me. When they are talking I am too busy checking in to see how I am feeling. We got through it before and we can do it again.
Take care.
Michelle

[milly jones]

so glad ur are safe matey

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Ollie12]

It's comforting to know that we're not alone! Thanks guys, it's good to know that i can get my feelings across to people who understand.

Ollie
x

[popsy]

Ollie you really arent alone.

I have suffered like you describe alot, and its one of the most awful parts of my (our) condition, feeling 'unreal' is horrible.
My psychistrist tells me its very common and is our bodies mechanisum (feeling detached from the world) to protect our minds/bodies to feeling more stress. Apparently, as our nervous systems become more stable it happens less and less, try and see this as yourself trying to protect itself!
I know thats really hard (i know, i promise) but i hope it helps to know someone else does suffer this like you.

Popsy x x x

[evilbob333]

This is my biggie at the moment...i've had it going on for a while and its probably the most distressing anxiety symptom i've experienced. The thing is I know the world i'm in is real and the people i interact with are real but its the what if that gets me going...what if i'm really in on my own and talking to myself, what if i'm not really in my shower, what if , what if, what if. But then logically i think that my senses are all i have and real madness (sorry, dont like the word but cant find an alternative) doesn't work like that...what proof do i have to say none of this is real? None...just a what if question.
I sometimes realise that i havent had this thought for a while, when i've been busy or whatnot, and find that quite reassuring. I find what Poppy says quite apt as well...as my symptoms have disappeared after periods of rest and only return when i'm tired or stressed.
It is an awful feeling, the worst, but its not for ever...like you i've been in this state before and completely got over it. It certainly doesnt mean that you're insane or anything like...far, far from it...its a perfectly normal reaction to a condition (anxiety) that takes an exhausting toll on the mind and body. Think of it like going into shock...your mind cant take it all in and you feel far away and nothing really registers...the only difference is that it's more sustained. Take some time out, get some good sleep, really relax, read...it'll disappear. BTW there are some forums on the internet that talk solely about these symptoms, search for depersonalisation and derealisation forums.
Hope this helps...you'll be fine buddy...just cut yourself some slack and be good to yourself!

[Ollie12]

Thanks Popsy and evilbob, you're gems. You hit the nail on the head with the What If questions. I catastrophise and at this current time find it very hard to rationalise. The What If's seem so strong that you start to almost believe them and it's very distressing. I have been very lucky in that my local mental health team rang yesterday evening and talked me through everything and are going to meet with me this week hopefully to discuss some form of therapy. I really hope things will get better soon as it's an awful feeling and my heart goes out to everybody else feeling like this at the moment, my thoughts and love are with you.

Ollie