Petrified

[Sue K with 5]

I am supposed to be going out tonight! Its my birthday tom and I have organised a meal at a pub down the road, thing is everyone wanst to go except me, I am petrified, what if I have a panic attack, or start screaming or run out of the restaurant, what if what if!!!!!!

I hate it, I have had bad new today, so I am feeling very vulnerable and I am so scared that the people I am meeting tonight will judge me for being fat or comment on my weight gain

I dont want to go and I am so scared, I just want to go and have a nice time and I think I am now beyond knowing what that is and how I can acheive it.

Sorry to be so damn depressing!!! I love my family but this is such a scary prospect tonight, and I am trying to think of every excuse not to go

Help!!!!

Sue with the five children

scknight

[seh1980]

hi Sue,

I have often not wanted to go places due to panic, etc and have gone expecting the worst. However, once I get there, I tend to relax and have a good time. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think it will. It's your birthday and you deserve to get out there and have a good time. Have a great birthday!!

Sarah :D

[Meg]

**what if I have a panic attack, or start screaming or run out of the restaurant, what if what if!!!!!!**

I am willing to wager quite a lot that you will not scream or run out of the restaurant. If you need to leave for a few minutes you will do it in a quiet and dignified manner but the likelyhood is that going will be better than thinking about it and all the extreme very remote possibilities........

What if .. It all goes really well ?



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[vernon]

hi sue and happy birthday. As meg said you will not show yourself up and if you dont go you will feel much worst after for not going? I have at times realy felt to ill to go out and made every excuse like you, but u do know if you go you will feel so much better after you always get a good high when you do something? but if you dont go you will only be much worst next time maybe when you have to go out? take care. Vernon

[angieb]

Hi Susan - it is my b-day today (happy birthday for tomorrow by the way).

My hubby has booked to take us out tonight (I am not supposed to know, my sister let it slip that she is booked to babysit) and it has been on my mind for most of the day too.

The what if thing is so scary, much much worse than any reality is ever likely to be. Don't forget feeling follows thought so try to stop those negative thoughts now. Slap an elastic band on your wrist, every time you start to thing negatively about tonight snap the band and stop that thought in its tracks, think something nice instead, what will I eat, what do I fancy to drink, grown up time without the kids etc. I am sure if you can just distract yourself you will soon start to feel calmer.

Hope your evening goes well, let us know how you get on. I will think about how you are doing and you can think about how I might be doing tonight - save us thinking about ourselves eh:D

Take care - have a lovely one...Angie

[carlin]

Hi Sue, Happy Birthday.
How lovely, you will not have to cook for the family tonight, you will be spoilt, you deserve to be, if you feel at all uneasy throughout the evening, just pop to the ladies, or outside for some fresh air, you will not make a fool of yourself, you will not scream, shout nor make a fuss, if you need to leave the table you will do so quietly and no-one will notice, have a fabulous night, and do let us know how well you coped!! As for being overweight, people don't notice, it's us people that are overweight that worry!

[Piglet]

Hi Sue,

Give it a go, with the idea if you really hate it you can come home again.

Do as was suggested with the snapping of the elastic band or elastic bead bracelet. Also bear in mind you would never run screaming out out the place as thats drawing attention to ourselves, like Meg says you would just quietly excuse yourself and then probably cry your head off when you got back home. Been there - done that!

However 8/10 it's been good and now again I've even actually enjoyed myself.

Lots of love
Piglet

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[Karen]

Hi Sue

Happy birthday for tomorrow.

How did the night out go?


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Sue K with 5]

Well you were right I was wrong, I managed to leave the table when things got uncomfortable, I didn't eat much, was conscious about being watched but I did do it and your right I did not scream, although inside I wanted to at times. I managed to cope really well, considering how scared I was, I even managed to laugh a few times, We got to the restaurant and I must admit when it was time to leave i could not wait to get into the car, thank you all so much, I feel a bit silly now writing such a dramatic note, but I was so scared before I left.

I looked nice though, felt very conscious about my weight, but Warren gave me a beautiful white gold necklace and matching bracelet before I went out to boost my confidence

Thanks Guys your all the best


Love Sue (with the five children)

scknight

[Emmie]

Hi Sue,
just read your post and wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And congratulations for last night! Well done for being brave and going for it!

Em xx

[mom22]

Happy Belated Birthday Sue! Glad you were able to get out to celebrate and that things went ok.

Take care,

Sue

[Karen]

Hi Sue

Glad the evening went well. You went and stayed even though you felt uncomfortable at times. Well done.

Hope you've had a good birthday.


Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[henri]

hi sue,
happy birthday and congratulations! your story has given me lots of hope - it's my birthday soon and i'm already freaking out about what to do and how i'll deal with going out for drinks or dinner or whatever. i don't want to celebrate at all but now i've read your success story maybe i'll be more tempted to give it a go!
henri x

[Meg]

Good for you Sue, Now build on it and go out again soon !


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[alexis]

Hi Sue, for some reason Ive only just seen this post, I know the real reason you didnt want to go was cos you would miss us in the chat room, well done Sue, I do know how you feel as you know but hey we went places, it is a long slow job but we will get there , take care and ill catch you later, love Alexisxxxxxx