wizz
08-09-08, 13:50
Hello Forum,
My name is Kaneda and I’m from London and I suffer from severe depression and anxiety.
I've signed up to this board to meet friends who suffer from a similar illness as myself and look for support and provide it as well.
I'm 25 and currently live in London, Unemployed as i' moving to Stockholm, Sweden with my GF in two weeks.
I work normally in the video games industry as a Production assistant for a developer, I recently worked on the new Quake game.
MY STORY
My illness started when i was very young, around 18/19.. i had the first symptoms of depression but I didn't understand them and i just pushed them aside and went on with life not thinking another second about it.
I smoked a lot of weed and took LSD when i was younger which is properly a contributing factor to my illness, Anyways when I turned 21 I had a fantastic job with a great advertising company in London doing new media design and worked on some great protects Cadburys/gone a bit Lara etc.
One weekend after partying with my friends and ending up at some house party in London i had a massive anxiety attack at the end of the night with my mind racing full of illogical thoughts, I managed to calmed down and go to sleep.
The next day at work i was getting all the symptoms of anxiety and then some said something to me and it just click and i totally freaked out, the next morning i broke down in tears in the shower...i told my dad how i was thinking and feeling which made me feel like a freak who had gone insane. I didn't return to work for 1 month which entirely in bed, I felt ashamed and a freak an outcast or someone who was losing his mind and all i wanted to do was die.
I went back to work but only lasted one week before i broke down again, I locked myself away in my room for almost 1 1/2 years before i started going to the doctor and counselling sessions which really helped me start to turn things around but i continued to stay in my room playing a game called world of warcraft avoiding most social situations, slowly i started to return to the social scene more and more, and i then i realised that a lot of my friends suffered problems from as well and it gave me comfort that although i had more serious illness i wasn’t alone.
I thought of suicide many times in the early years but it’s not worth it.
I was finally forced to move out when my dad decided to move to Brighton and i didn’t want to move away from my friends so i moved into a friends place and start looking for work, i lived with a friend who suffered from a less serious version of depression/anxiety so she helped me a lot as she understood what it was like to live with this affliction and we supported each other.
Since then i've fought every day tooth and nail to keep myself positive, its hard most days but it’s worth it as I’ve had some amazing times. Since then I’ve worked in an industry i love for over 1 year and a half.. I've travelled to Australia and New Zealand back packing around for 10 months which was the most amazing experience of my life.
I’ve met an amazing Swedish girl who i love and adore!
HOW I DEAL WITH IT
These are some of my methods of dealing with depression and anxiety.
· I listen to calming music, the sounds of nature CD from zaavi is great to relax to and drift off to sleep with
· Listen to strong powerful fighting music which helps boost my resilience to giving in
· Keeping busy with projects, I keep myself busy during the days with hobbies if i’m not working
· Eat well, I always try to eat healthy and heartily
· Exercising whenever I can, it help boost my mood
· Talk with my friends and family, I’m lucky to have fantastic friends and family who support me so much and they may not understand completely what it’s like to suffer like us but they do understand that I’m in pain and help all they can
· I focus on the good times I’ve had when I’ve been ill, i always forget the bad days which helps remind me that it is still possible to enjoy life and there are many things worth fighting for
· Sex, i find myself that sex is a great way to boost my mood and confidence
· I have a two cats who i love and they love me, it can be a great comfort to have them around knowing they don’t judge or feel anything but love for me!
· A UV lap which gives you the same affect as sitting in the sun can help during the winter months
One more thing i have found is that the UK is not a great place to live in my opinion, In Australia my depression and anxiety were incredibly low or gone for some weeks, the attitude to life and the life style itself is far better i find than the UK.
My name is Kaneda and I’m from London and I suffer from severe depression and anxiety.
I've signed up to this board to meet friends who suffer from a similar illness as myself and look for support and provide it as well.
I'm 25 and currently live in London, Unemployed as i' moving to Stockholm, Sweden with my GF in two weeks.
I work normally in the video games industry as a Production assistant for a developer, I recently worked on the new Quake game.
MY STORY
My illness started when i was very young, around 18/19.. i had the first symptoms of depression but I didn't understand them and i just pushed them aside and went on with life not thinking another second about it.
I smoked a lot of weed and took LSD when i was younger which is properly a contributing factor to my illness, Anyways when I turned 21 I had a fantastic job with a great advertising company in London doing new media design and worked on some great protects Cadburys/gone a bit Lara etc.
One weekend after partying with my friends and ending up at some house party in London i had a massive anxiety attack at the end of the night with my mind racing full of illogical thoughts, I managed to calmed down and go to sleep.
The next day at work i was getting all the symptoms of anxiety and then some said something to me and it just click and i totally freaked out, the next morning i broke down in tears in the shower...i told my dad how i was thinking and feeling which made me feel like a freak who had gone insane. I didn't return to work for 1 month which entirely in bed, I felt ashamed and a freak an outcast or someone who was losing his mind and all i wanted to do was die.
I went back to work but only lasted one week before i broke down again, I locked myself away in my room for almost 1 1/2 years before i started going to the doctor and counselling sessions which really helped me start to turn things around but i continued to stay in my room playing a game called world of warcraft avoiding most social situations, slowly i started to return to the social scene more and more, and i then i realised that a lot of my friends suffered problems from as well and it gave me comfort that although i had more serious illness i wasn’t alone.
I thought of suicide many times in the early years but it’s not worth it.
I was finally forced to move out when my dad decided to move to Brighton and i didn’t want to move away from my friends so i moved into a friends place and start looking for work, i lived with a friend who suffered from a less serious version of depression/anxiety so she helped me a lot as she understood what it was like to live with this affliction and we supported each other.
Since then i've fought every day tooth and nail to keep myself positive, its hard most days but it’s worth it as I’ve had some amazing times. Since then I’ve worked in an industry i love for over 1 year and a half.. I've travelled to Australia and New Zealand back packing around for 10 months which was the most amazing experience of my life.
I’ve met an amazing Swedish girl who i love and adore!
HOW I DEAL WITH IT
These are some of my methods of dealing with depression and anxiety.
· I listen to calming music, the sounds of nature CD from zaavi is great to relax to and drift off to sleep with
· Listen to strong powerful fighting music which helps boost my resilience to giving in
· Keeping busy with projects, I keep myself busy during the days with hobbies if i’m not working
· Eat well, I always try to eat healthy and heartily
· Exercising whenever I can, it help boost my mood
· Talk with my friends and family, I’m lucky to have fantastic friends and family who support me so much and they may not understand completely what it’s like to suffer like us but they do understand that I’m in pain and help all they can
· I focus on the good times I’ve had when I’ve been ill, i always forget the bad days which helps remind me that it is still possible to enjoy life and there are many things worth fighting for
· Sex, i find myself that sex is a great way to boost my mood and confidence
· I have a two cats who i love and they love me, it can be a great comfort to have them around knowing they don’t judge or feel anything but love for me!
· A UV lap which gives you the same affect as sitting in the sun can help during the winter months
One more thing i have found is that the UK is not a great place to live in my opinion, In Australia my depression and anxiety were incredibly low or gone for some weeks, the attitude to life and the life style itself is far better i find than the UK.