1 step forward... 2 steps back...

[orangeblossom]

I made a real step forward on Thursday when I went on the tube with my therapist - first time in over 4 years. And, I consolidated it by going on the tube again on Sunday. I felt so elated as you can imagine! It was a really, spectacularly, huge deal for me.

I spent Sunday night with a dreadful headache - caused by the stress of Thursday and Sunday and a few moments ago I attempted to go out of my flat to post a letter (birthday card to my best friend). I made it as far as the corner about 50 yards from the front of the building before turning round and literally dashing back inside because I felt as if I were going to die.

It was awful and I'm still sitting here light-headed, panicking and fingers just about able to type!

I just wanted to know if anyone else experiences this state of being able to make real progress, only to find that afterwards even basic things such as being able to leave the house is virtually impossible??

It really scares me - as irrational as it sounds, part of me is wondering whether I really did go on the tube or if that just me imagining the whole thing!!!!

[purplehaze]

Hi

If in doubt about going on the tube ask the therapist. but I know what you mean. One moment your doing something like that and the next just going 50 yards is like a million miles away. So in a sense you do wonder "how could I do that and not post a card"

Progress is sometimes 1 step forward and 2 steps back but dont allow this blip to knock your confidence.

one moment I am driving 67 miles and the next I couldnt get out the door. One moment I am in the city centre and then getting a bus back out and the next I cant cope meeting someone 3 miles away.

we are allowed blips
we are allowed moments of s**t I cant do this so dont be hard on yourself and please dont focus too much on this.


WELL DONE ON THE TUBE-TRAIN

KEV

[Jas]

I used to go all over London on the tube, I used to go in lifts, I used to go take cruises, I used to do what most people take for granted, but since my first panic attack 16 yrs ago I;ve never done any of the above..plus loadfs more..so good on ya for taking the step and I'm in London on Thursday so I might even take the step as well..if you can do it so can I ...thanks and good luck.

[never2late]

You most certainly did go on the tube (or subway as we say here in the States).

You know, when I used to do Olympic-style weightlifting, I had to have a few days in between because I (and no one else) could do it two days in a row.

Same with you and your progress.

One step at a time . . . day by day . . . and a day or two of rest in-between.

[Anxious_gal]

ha yes, I go up town a few times and do really well! then I'll go up town, panic and run home!
How were you feeling? what were you thinking?
compare the two differrent times.
maybe you were worried or stressed out the day you had to go home? maybe something spooked you?
well done on going on the tube! and don't forget to write down on your calender the days you were succesfull!