I need serenity [Archive]

NeedSerenity

09-09-08, 06:28

:weep:

NeedSerenity

09-09-08, 06:33

Hi everyone--first off, I'm so glad I can share my feelings and fears with people who won't judge me. I'm crying as I'm typing because I can't believe this is my life. I have an incredible amount of guilt, sadness about these intrusive thoughts, which includes every under the sun. I only really got them about a month ago when I experienced my first panic attack. Until then, I've been able to fight off the thoughts, always scared about having them, but never obsessing about them. Now, since then, my thoughts have become more violent, despisable, and I just can't bare it. I fear I'm becoming a bad person...and I've had suicidal thoughts. The worst of it all is that my brother suffers from schizophrenia, and my parents are already going through a lot with him. I need help. I don't want to be a bad person. I just want peace in my mind, my heart and my soul.

Veronica H

09-09-08, 09:53

Hi
Welcome to NMP. No one will judge you here. You will find comfort and support and make some new friends too. I am so sorry that your family is going through such a rough time, but it might surprise you to realise that many of us have intrusive thoughts with panic/anxiety disorder. Read the links down the side of this page and take a look in the forums. Do not be afraid to consult your Dr to get some help with this. I am sure that your parents would hate to think that you did not get help because of their current difficulties. I can understand how you might be afraid because of your brothers condition, I was worried myself because my father had really bad depression which he hid from us for many years. I found out after his death that he had also tried to commit suicide on one occasion in his life. This made me dispair when I started to get panic attacks as it is very difficult not to think of genetic links etc. I felt that the Drs would probably latch on to this link from the outset and judge me accordingly. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I felt very reassured about genetic links having spoken to my Dr. It is worse for you to live in fear than to get as much information as you can and to start getting your life back on track.

Veronica

kittykat

09-09-08, 09:54

Hi there and:welcome: to the site. Sorry to hear your feeling so bad just now but there are lots of people on hear who can help you through this difficult time, take care xx

jesse08

09-09-08, 11:17

Hi there. Maybe you are feeling a bit better today. NMP offers lots of support and new friends. You are not alone. Welcome to the forum, Jesse.

lorac

09-09-08, 11:59

Hi

Welcome to the site I am sure you will meet many on here who understand how you feel

Take care

Carol

milly jones

09-09-08, 16:26

:welcome: hi and a warm welcome to no more panic

hugs :bighug1:

milly xxx

pinkpiglet

09-09-08, 16:32

Hi There!
&:welcome: ,

You are not a bad person, you'r just going through a difficult period.
you have come to the right place for support and advice. You will realise you are not alone in experiencing these feelings, someone here will be able to relate to you. Hope you find it a huge help......i have x
Have a hug!
:bighug1:

alexis

09-09-08, 18:45

Hi and welcome, I am sure you will soon find your way around and make lots of new friends.

nomorepanic

09-09-08, 21:18

Hi

A warm :welcome: aboard and lovely to see you here.

Hope we can be of some help.

Alisonj

10-09-08, 05:29

Welcome, I hope you are able to find lots of support here.

Lindalou64

12-09-08, 13:32

Hello And Welcome ,you Are Not A Bad Person At All Its The Anxiety Playing Head Games With You, Have You Been To Your Doctor? I Wish Ya Well, Linda

IAN W

13-09-08, 14:39

:welcome:

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to be too hard on yourself. We are our own worst judges, quite often you can accept failings in others, but never yourself, believe me I know from experience.

You are not a bad person, or selfish, just person who needs a little help and reasurance.

IAN W

MandiMoon

13-09-08, 17:40

This is the right place to find serenity and normality and even a bit of a laugh ! We have all been in the dark place where you are today and we can all tell you, you will get out and you wont go back. Sometimes maybe things will be shady.... but when u are at the bottom there's only one way to go ...UP