It's begun!

[mothermac]

Put a post on yesterday about how anxious I will be knowing my husband is driving today(I panic really badly over this)well he has just left the house and already I feel VERY VERY BAD!I am trying to keep a lid on it as I don't want my daughter to notice or she will get anxious too so it's really bad.How am I going to get through this?I even asked him not to go but he said how can that be he has to go to work or we don't eat basically,stupid thought I know but I think irrational thoughts when I am like this.I would literally give my right arm if I thought I could stop him going,that's how bad it gets.Help me please someone I can't live like this.

[Stressed92]

Awwh try not to worry.
Do something to take your mind of it, something you enjoy:)
Are you feeling any better now?
Amy
x

[milly jones]

hunny the more u think its going to get u anx and make u feel ill the more it will

try and think positively

write down the hours till hes back on paper, as the time passes mark the hours off

sometimes for me the having the visual 'timetable' in front of me helps the time pass sooner to get to the goal

loads of nmp hugs

mill xxxx

[Veronica H]

Hi Mothermac
As you said yourself, you know this is irrational. The problem is that this is also a well established routine for you, from the build up to him leaving, trying to conceal your fear from your daughter etc. Stop fighting it and accept that this is an understandable loop of fear/anxiety/fear for people like us. Try to replace some of the negative thoughts today with positive ones. E.g I didn't stop him, which would have made me feel worse in the long run, therefore I have done something positive to break the cycle. Remember this is really about how anxiety manifests itself, not about your husbands driving. Distract yourself as much as you can and try not to watch the clock. Use today as an opportunity to practice a new way to deal with this. I really feel for you though as I know that desperately anxious feeling only too well.
Veronica

[mothermac]

Hi guys,thanks so much for all your advice i really need it.It's roundabout 10.00 at the moment and Iv'e been doing some housework and making my daughter some snacks,I haven't been watching the clock but it does feel like I have been up for hours as I got up with him as he had an early start.You are right Veronica at saying I should concentrate on the positive thoughts like I didn't stop him going,I don't think he would have done that anyway as he is understanding but not really about this.He says that everybody drives and it's a fact of life and I will just have to get used to the idea(easier said than done but he doesn't suffer from this does he?)He does suffer the phonecalls though and the tears so I suppose he does suffer only in a different way.
I will try and occupy myself until after lunch as that is when he is coming back.

[Horse]

Mothermac.

This could be Separation Anxiety.

If you look at the symptoms you will see that this can be linked to 'fear of something happening to loved ones' as far as part and parcel of Anxiety is concerned. Your worry that your husband is not safe or that something is going to happen to him probably links to insecurity when you are alone after he has left the house. Maybe subconsciously, you worry that he won't come back safely or even at all.

You will find that this will in time disappear. Once again these Obsessional thoughts do their best in making us panic and worry about something that will probably never happen in the first place!

A typical example of the 'What if' syndrome. The most important factor here is that you occupy your mind with other things during his absence.

Kevin.

[mothermac]

Thanks for replying Kevin and I do agree that is EXACTLY what it is.I have had this since having our daughter 5 yrs ago and it is driving me mad as well as my husband,it's a good job that he has hands free but I really shouldn't phone him at all.I think it stems from the fear of losing my dad when I was 11 as he went out and never came home(he worked abroad and had a heart attack)I never got closure as I didn't see him at rest and my mum reacted that badly that everyone thought it was best that I didn't go to the funeral,I shouldn't have been shielded from it though as look at the state I am in now.
The only thing I can't understand is why did it only kick off after my daughter was born,I have always been an anxious person in a way but never to this extent and why when he is driving or away at work.He has had all sorts of jobs and when I worked full time I reacted normally like any other person,just the usual concern like "drive safely,look after yourself" not this terrible fear I have now that swallows everything up.
I am waiting for counselling at the moment(operative word being waiting!) and I hope I can examine it on a more deeper level there. I am waiting anxiously for 12.30 at the moment as I know the course he is on ends then and he will be driving back.I have had a horrible sick feeling in the pit of my stomach all morning but I am trying to occupy my mind best way I can,coming on here and talking to you guys does help me a lot-thanks.