just fed up

[lilly-lou]

I'm so fed up at the moment, as you all know I haven't been having such a good time lately but have been ploding on and now have been forced to help out with my sis and her mess of a life which I can't go onto here. I have my niece living with me at the moment because my sis can't be bothered parenting her whenever she does something wrong but this morning my sis was ranting down the phone at me about all the c*** in her life which she brings on a lot of it herself and the way she acts so I told her to stop shouting at me as I am the only person that will help her and her kids out so she hangs up on me. She has no thought for the fact that I am not in a good place and just dumps all her s*** on me too, she thinks my life is so peachy and great and I get so much support off my hubby when in reality I have to do things pretty much by myself and she is the one who everybody runs around after especially our parents, I have told my mum today that I can't do this anymore, because I need to consentrate on getting me well, now I feel really bad.

I am meant to be going swimming later and all she has done is wound me up and now I don't feel like it but my kids know about it which is making me panic more as I don't like letting them down, my head is banging and my heart is racing she is so selfish and as horrible as this sounds I don't want her in my life at the moment as I don't have the strength to deal with her issues and mine.

Sorry all for ranting on again, its all I seem to do lately and its driving me crazy!

[milly jones]

hunny calm down

just take 20mins to have a coffee and relax

ranting on here is great cos it releases emotions

have a good cry if u need it, hit a pillow, r cuddle a pet

i bet even now just posting has helped calm ur anx

families are never fair. we choose our friends lol

as for the swimming, id try and go

if ur children are little then supervising little ones at swimming can be a real giggle and may help u

if they are bigger, take the swimming as an opportunity to lie back and relax and destress in the warm water

if u cant face going, stick cbbc on and let them indulge whilst u have some down time

take care

mill xxx

[lilly-lou]

Thanks Milly,
I have been in tears to my poor hubby this morning because sometimes crying is the only way to stop a panic from coming, I am so determined not to let this spoil taking the kids out, my niece and her little girl are coming too to help me out and I can't let my son down he is autistic so if I change plans now his anxiety will go off the scale. It is so true you can choose your friends but not your family, I most definately have quite a few odd members in mine, me being one of them!

[milly jones]

no hun ur not odd, u have an illness which some ppl cannot no ma\tter how hard they try comprehend how exhausing this is.

if u had, god forbid, say diabetes, they would be right behind u supporting u all the way. but cos its hidden ppl dont see u as being poorly and needing help.

i k now how difficult it can be to change plans for a child with asd, but if u are really unable to go then praps ur neice could take him?

on the other hand the upset for ur son may cause so much more anx for u it may be easier for u to just go.

but pls find some down time hunny

u as a carer need space too

hugs


milly xxxx

[Anxious_gal]

aw sorry your having such a bad time x seems to me your sister needs to take responsiblity for her own actions. maybe try not to get so involved in her problems if you can. because your absorbing all her stress.
i have a friend, she had so many problems and eventually my anxiety got so bad i had to stop talking to her for awhile. i realized i had a habbit of offerening her advice and help, i now know only she can help herself, there's nothing else i can do to help her. she's a grown woman.
try to put your self first x

[lilly-lou]

I try very hard not to get involved in my sis problems but she drags every one into them but I think that the time has come for me to ignore her for a while as she is emotionally draining and at the moment all my energy is getting used up just getting from one day to the next and trying to go out but I am a little pleased with myself as I just managed a trip down to the retail park by myself with my baby son and I actually bought some things too which unless I am with somebody else is a no go but I did it and felt ok about it, I have made the desision that I will go swimming and if I can only stay in for 10 mins then thats 10 mins longer than if I didn't go.

My sis will have to come to the conclusion that only she can stop all the hostility in her life, I think that she has lived so long with confruntation that she doesn't know how to live without it, but I am staying well away for the sake of my own sanity and well being.

lilly-lou