Rage again... usual rant

[Franz]

Nothing new to say... Just want to get off my chest this rage I feel towards everyone. 2 colleagues were just talking in my field of vision and I freaked out and one of them wouldn't look up and kept shielding his face and I KNOW it was because of me. I just wanted to scream at him what a total c*** he was for doing that.

I'm so tired of having to hold in this urge to scream at people and hit people and things. It scares people away (go figure) and makes me more isolated and so more angry.

I'm tired, tired, tired. I want to cry.

[milly jones]

hunny just try and calm urself, this thought is taking so much of ur energy

can u pop out for a good hard walk to rid urself of ur adrenaline?

i think its so hard for ppl to understand social anx. ppl think that u r being awkward or rude, and most of the time we just want to be accepted as normal.

pls pm if it would halp to have someone to chat to

milly xxxx

[Franz]

Milly,

Thanks. Unfortunately it's not a question of trying to calm myself or of it using too much energy. It's out of my control. I've just been for a walk but I can't go for a walk every time this happens. I have work to do. For how much longer I'll have work to do I don't know because I can't go on like this. I've given it my best shot and I have to accept that there's no way out.

Thanks anyway.

F

[Anxious_gal]

is it everyone you feel a rage towards?
maybe if you were looking at that guy that is why he hid his face? i know if someone was looking at me n i felt uncomfortable i would hide behind my hair,
you cant change the people around you but you can change your self talk and perception, as long as you love and accept yourself things will get better x

[Franz]

Mishel,

I feel threatened all the time when there are people in my field of vision and get this rage. Even towards really nice people - there seems to be part of me that wants everyone to reject me and hate me and be scared of me.

I don't have to look at people. It's possible to "stare" at people without looking at them directly. I've got what the Hindus call the Evil Eye.

I realise this will sound rather negative, but if changing were as easy as you suggest, this site wouldn't exist.

Thanks anyway.

F

[milly jones]

hunny pls we are only trying to help u

u sound so depressed and negative

we do understand franz hunny

hugs

[Anxious_gal]

are you going to therapy?
some of your issues remind me of my friend, she gets very angry towards people and she prefers if people are afraid of her. she grew up with parents that were very mean to her, she thinks if people fear her then they will respect her more. she gets angry towards her self alot and really doesnt like herself.
no change isnt easy, but don't give up x

[pinkpiglet]

Come on, i know it's not easy (infact it's very bloody hard)
but we all get feelings that we can't seem to control. You have got to try to calm yourself down, all we can do here at NMP is offer words of comfort and support. When was the last time you saw a doctor (or other healthcare professional)? Are you taking medication? What else are you doing to help your condition?:shrug:

[Franz]

Sorry, I realise I maybe gave the wrong impression. I don't want reassurance, I just wanted to rant. I'm intelligent enough to know that there are no easy answers.

I'm on citalopram, it doesn't work but very slightly lessons the depression, and trust me I have tried every therapy under the sun.

I emphasise again, I don't want advice. I'm past that. I'm a miserable selfish violent c*** and I just want to let off steam. I'm one of the nastiest people on this site, I can see that, and I don't even care.

[Moogue]

is it everyone you feel a rage towards?
maybe if you were looking at that guy that is why he hid his face? i know if someone was looking at me n i felt uncomfortable i would hide behind my hair,
you cant change the people around you but you can change your self talk and perception, as long as you love and accept yourself things will get better x

The thing with this is it is eaiser said than done! Social paranoia....it is not a nice way to be......and Yes the fact is that they probably weren't talking about you but htat doesn't stop you thinking it and reacting...

You know the scene.... you walk into t room and everyone stops talking............

aaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh

Pinky - don't know what to say for the best..... i obviously don't know you but surely if you are still haveing these feelings and thoughts you should see your doctor and get your medication changed as it is obviously not addressing the core issues you have problems with....

Hugs and Love to All

Flic xx

[Anxious_gal]

If you knew me, you wouldn't like me............... my friend asks me all the time why i like her, she asks me because she doesnt like herself so she cannot understand why i like her

[Moogue]

Sorry, I realise I maybe gave the wrong impression. I don't want reassurance, I just wanted to rant. I'm intelligent enough to know that there are no easy answers.

I'm on citalopram, it doesn't work but very slightly lessons the depression, and trust me I have tried every therapy under the sun.

I emphasise again, I don't want advice. I'm past that. I'm a miserable selfish violent c*** and I just want to let off steam. I'm one of the nastiest people on this site, I can see that, and I don't even care.

Franz - believe me I am not going to "patronize" you with sympathetic pats on the head.... I don't have it in me..... I DO actually understand..... and you know what..... I felt exactly the same when I was taking Citalopram.....for the love of monkeys go to the GP and get it changed!!!!!!!!!!!!

As far as the violence is concerned.... I got a punch bag!!! ( got sick of walking around with scabs on my hands after punching walls........not always appropiate at work i know ;-) Talk to your boss and explain the situation and i am sure that they will be more than happy for you to take 5 whenever these feelings overwhelm you. CHANGE YOUR MEDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs and Love you miserable monkey ;-)

Flic x

[pinkpiglet]

I don't think you are nasty, your anxiety just gives you rage. I thought you were looking for advice......sorry. :shrug:

If it's a rant you want then go ahead and we'l listen.:okay:

[milly jones]

im not just going to listen franz

i still offer a hug and a shoulder

cos ur worth it my friend

love

milly xx