LostTomorrow
10-09-08, 14:24
Hi NMP:)
Ive suffered with depression, paranoia, panic attacks and anxiety for close on 20 years now.
To deal with it ive just stayed in my comfort zones, eg: if i was going to a pub or somewhere where people know me i would say my hellos, smile a few times and leave whenever i wanted to, feel bad about leaving but feel soooo good that my anxiety was gone.
A couple of years ago i actually manged to apply and get a job in very busy offices with over 200 people in the rooms and really shocked myself at how well i coped, eventually, and liked it :)
That job came to an end and ever since any job i had felt anxiety in, ( which was all jobs since, about 4 ) i have just walked away from, and ive been a house husband ever since, about 4 years.
I have my good days and my bad days like most of you guys, i can be very polite and charming, i can be very assertive, i can be shy.
I can be a person i dont like probably 80% of the times these days:weep:
Anyhows, to the point :yesyes: lol
I have a wedding that i HAVE to go to this weekend and im dreading it, im dreading being the most miserrable person at a wedding ever and dreading the social awkwardness i will feel.
My GP gave me propranolol 80mg two weeks ago as my anxiety had started to build and build weeks ago, and also seven 10mg Diazepam.
The Propranolol seemed to work wonders and the one tablet of diazepam at night seems to help me relax really well.
However, now with only a few days left until the wedding my anxiety seems to be beating the propranolol :( and the diazepam i am saving for the night before and morning of the wedding ( 2 tablets left ).
Ive done some testing with beer to make sure i dont pass out or go loopy on these meds lol. All seems ok:whistles:
Last night i tried on my suit, welled up with anxiety afterwards, and something really weird happened thats never happened before, i became really really tired and almost dozed of withing minutes of sitting down, after this i felt fine again:scared15: ( maybe i should fall asleep at the wedding?:unsure: )
Sorry for the long post, but believe me, it could of been way way longer.
Any of you care to pass on any hints and tips of how you get through situations that you would not normally allow yourself to be in?
I will be attending the wedding with my family, kids and mrs.
( my mrs knows how i feel, but tends to ignore it :( we dont have a bad relationship, but i somehow distrust her a little for ignoring what is a real big thing to me in my life )
I have no friends, so know one to discuss my problems with.
Any advice much appreciated.
Take care all:)
Ive suffered with depression, paranoia, panic attacks and anxiety for close on 20 years now.
To deal with it ive just stayed in my comfort zones, eg: if i was going to a pub or somewhere where people know me i would say my hellos, smile a few times and leave whenever i wanted to, feel bad about leaving but feel soooo good that my anxiety was gone.
A couple of years ago i actually manged to apply and get a job in very busy offices with over 200 people in the rooms and really shocked myself at how well i coped, eventually, and liked it :)
That job came to an end and ever since any job i had felt anxiety in, ( which was all jobs since, about 4 ) i have just walked away from, and ive been a house husband ever since, about 4 years.
I have my good days and my bad days like most of you guys, i can be very polite and charming, i can be very assertive, i can be shy.
I can be a person i dont like probably 80% of the times these days:weep:
Anyhows, to the point :yesyes: lol
I have a wedding that i HAVE to go to this weekend and im dreading it, im dreading being the most miserrable person at a wedding ever and dreading the social awkwardness i will feel.
My GP gave me propranolol 80mg two weeks ago as my anxiety had started to build and build weeks ago, and also seven 10mg Diazepam.
The Propranolol seemed to work wonders and the one tablet of diazepam at night seems to help me relax really well.
However, now with only a few days left until the wedding my anxiety seems to be beating the propranolol :( and the diazepam i am saving for the night before and morning of the wedding ( 2 tablets left ).
Ive done some testing with beer to make sure i dont pass out or go loopy on these meds lol. All seems ok:whistles:
Last night i tried on my suit, welled up with anxiety afterwards, and something really weird happened thats never happened before, i became really really tired and almost dozed of withing minutes of sitting down, after this i felt fine again:scared15: ( maybe i should fall asleep at the wedding?:unsure: )
Sorry for the long post, but believe me, it could of been way way longer.
Any of you care to pass on any hints and tips of how you get through situations that you would not normally allow yourself to be in?
I will be attending the wedding with my family, kids and mrs.
( my mrs knows how i feel, but tends to ignore it :( we dont have a bad relationship, but i somehow distrust her a little for ignoring what is a real big thing to me in my life )
I have no friends, so know one to discuss my problems with.
Any advice much appreciated.
Take care all:)