Hi all. Any tips for someone who feels like a social outcast attending a wedding?

[LostTomorrow]

Hi NMP:)

Ive suffered with depression, paranoia, panic attacks and anxiety for close on 20 years now.
To deal with it ive just stayed in my comfort zones, eg: if i was going to a pub or somewhere where people know me i would say my hellos, smile a few times and leave whenever i wanted to, feel bad about leaving but feel soooo good that my anxiety was gone.

A couple of years ago i actually manged to apply and get a job in very busy offices with over 200 people in the rooms and really shocked myself at how well i coped, eventually, and liked it :)

That job came to an end and ever since any job i had felt anxiety in, ( which was all jobs since, about 4 ) i have just walked away from, and ive been a house husband ever since, about 4 years.

I have my good days and my bad days like most of you guys, i can be very polite and charming, i can be very assertive, i can be shy.
I can be a person i dont like probably 80% of the times these days:weep:

Anyhows, to the point :yesyes: lol
I have a wedding that i HAVE to go to this weekend and im dreading it, im dreading being the most miserrable person at a wedding ever and dreading the social awkwardness i will feel.

My GP gave me propranolol 80mg two weeks ago as my anxiety had started to build and build weeks ago, and also seven 10mg Diazepam.
The Propranolol seemed to work wonders and the one tablet of diazepam at night seems to help me relax really well.
However, now with only a few days left until the wedding my anxiety seems to be beating the propranolol :( and the diazepam i am saving for the night before and morning of the wedding ( 2 tablets left ).

Ive done some testing with beer to make sure i dont pass out or go loopy on these meds lol. All seems ok:whistles:

Last night i tried on my suit, welled up with anxiety afterwards, and something really weird happened thats never happened before, i became really really tired and almost dozed of withing minutes of sitting down, after this i felt fine again:scared15: ( maybe i should fall asleep at the wedding?:unsure: )

Sorry for the long post, but believe me, it could of been way way longer.

Any of you care to pass on any hints and tips of how you get through situations that you would not normally allow yourself to be in?
I will be attending the wedding with my family, kids and mrs.
( my mrs knows how i feel, but tends to ignore it :( we dont have a bad relationship, but i somehow distrust her a little for ignoring what is a real big thing to me in my life )
I have no friends, so know one to discuss my problems with.

Any advice much appreciated.
Take care all:)

[milly jones]

firstly -



a warm wednesday welcome to no more panic


milly xxx :flowers:



i know u said u had to go to the wedding, could u possibly get away with just the service?

i ask cos for me the reception bit would be much more difficult. and something is better than nothing.

if not and u have to attend it all i would suggest that u take a bottle of water with u and rescue remedy.

i would try to sit on the outside of the room facing ppl so u have warning if someone is coming over to u, but near the door in case u need some fresh air, or go to the loo, or just escape lol

i would just keep general chit chat and nod and smile and lets ppl tell u all about their lives so u dont have to talk much

as much as it may seem confidence building it may not be semsible to drink too much as u cant take back what u say when ur drunk lol and this may cause more social embarrassment in the future

ensure that ur suit etc is comfy and that u feel good when u leave before u go, this has a massive effect on ur self esteem

dont eat too much hunny or u will feel bloated and uncomfortable if anx sets in

and finally, try and enjoy it

the more u fear it the more likely it is to have negative prospects

hugs

mill xxx


ps u r braver than me :blush:

[LostTomorrow]

Hiya, thanks Milly :)

Im an usher and have to sit at the front, or believe me, i'd find a quiet corner lol!
Yes ive allready thought of leaving the service earlier as the whole thing is going on for around ten hours and in any circumstance im not happy with, ive left in ten MINUTES!!

Im probably not alone in the more tired i feel, the more chance and the bigger the anxiety is. So 10 hours is pretty scary to me.
Im really hopeing my kids get tired and start nagging to leave during the reception, however, you know how kids are, that will be the best part for them and their energy levels far exceed mine!

" the more u fear it the more likely it is to have negative prospects " Yes, but how hard is it to keep your mind of it:weep:

Im really hopeing at the end of it ill say to myself, " what was all the worry about? "
But the build up to it inside of me is....shocking! I feel like im gonna burst, or scream!

Does that rescue remedy actually work?

[milly jones]

hugs hunny i dont envy u

rescue remedy does work for some ppl, tho i never found for me, sorry

was just trying to help

i do know that the more u dread something the bigger the mountain becomes u have to climb.

and yes ull prob sit back at the end of the day and think, 'well that wasnt as bad as it could have been', but u must not, u must say -

'well i handled that really well and im proud of myself'

take care

mill xxx

[Stressed92]

I had to go to a wedding a few weeks ago and I was dreading it just like you are. I hadn't been out properly with that many people for months. But it was okay, I got through it. Usually, things aren't as bad as you imagine they're gonna be. If you feel anxious, which I did a few times, just try not to think about it too much, concentrate on something else, Talk to someone, eat something or watch everyone around you. If you do get really anxious, it can't last the whole time you're there, because anxiety always reaches a point where it has to come down.
So, don't worry, try not to think about the wedding until the day and think positively. If you tell yourself you won't panic, then you won't :)
Have a great time and enjoy yourself:yesyes:
Take Care
Amy
x

[LostTomorrow]

Thanks guys, wow, it seems like yesterday I posted this! 2 years ago.
The wedding wen't good, like you said it would:)
A few anxious moments throughout the day, but all in all it went well and was fun.
.................................. I have a Christening tomorrow:ohmy::weep: and the build up over the last few weeks has been terrible, today I feel like absolute crap.
Only meds I have now are 2mg diazepam...which just make me slightly tired...and my anxiety is worse when i'm tired:weep:

To late for advice and words of comfort now I know. but I'm hopeing that typing this will make me feel better:)
Take care all
xx

[daydreamer]

Listen if the wedding was fine and you got through it after all that anxiety you suffered, you will be fine tomorrow with the christening! Its just anticipation anxiety and nothing more, when it comes to the event Im sure you'll cope! just keep telling yourself you can do it and you will. Try and get a good nights sleep if you can and things will seem better tomorrow. Hope it goes well, good luck!

(I will have to remember my own advice here, because I have a christening in two months and am already worrying about it, lol!)