View Full Version : Were you bullied as a child
I was just wondering if anyone in here was bullied like me as a child to see if maybe this has something to do with how we feel?
Yes, by people who didnt know me, complete randoms and even my friends. I find I have little to no trust in people, especially those people close to me. I think the ffects my anxiety to the extreme!
my hubby was bullied badly. he was beaten by his mother which knocked his confidence out of him then he was bullied and beaten at schhool too and still suffers from that now.
but he is a lovely kind clever and funny bloke and i love him loads, i bet most of the ones that bullied him at school are in prison or having bad time.
I was bullied alot and school and by the time i had learned to stick up for myself the damage was done,it also wreacked my schooling.My confidence levels are low but im adressing that at the mo.But i suppose the only way is up!!
I was bullied really badly by 3 girls in particular when at junior school,unfortunately I saw one of the girls a lot around as her mother lives near me and the horrible feelings were still there,she hasn't changed and even though she is married now she still has a horrible domineering personality.It did affect me a lot and the story is too long to go into on here but all I will say is we must not let the bullies win and move on if we can.I do sympathise with Donna's hubby as my husband was also beaten by his mother,the one person who he should have been able to trust and who let him down in the worst possible way.He still bears some of the scars today and does not have any contact with her,she married a rich man and ownes a posh house somewhere which she has always wanted,I hope it makes her very happy as she is a very sick woman and needs help.My husband has very low self estem because of what she said to him when he was little,but has managed after a long time to get himself a good job and believe he is important and always will be.There is a lot of nice people in this world but a lot of not so nice people as well,but we can surround ourselves with the goodies and meet lovely folk on here so that's the main thing.
i did till was about 11 then one day when it happened , i went blank and the bully never did it again
I was bullied as a child at school and by my sister and it really affected my confidence and abitity to trust anybody, it affects me so much that I only have one friend that I see every few weeks which makes me sad as at nearly 37 you'd expect me to have loads.
lilly-lou
Anxious_gal
13-09-08, 19:28
I was picked on by teachers!
For me i realy think its something i did to let go of to carry on with my life,whats past is past and all that.I just feel that if i had of stuck up for my self sooner i would be in a good job as id have got a decent education and been on good money.I feel like ive let my family down.But in a way im still letting my family down by not getting on with my life and maybe doing night classes to get a degree and then i can provide my family with a life they all deserve.At the moment im torturing myself and i know it.:shrug:
hi neil, never feel like u let or letting your family down, they know and love u for being u, u dont have to prove anything and yes we could all wish we done things different but your experiences have made u who u r and i bet u r a lovely kind, genuine person who is loved dearly and if u had been mr confident, i dont care, then mayb u wouldnt have the qualities that your family see in you that make u so special matey to them. hugs xxxx
hi neil, never feel like u let or letting your family down, they know and love u for being u, u dont have to prove anything and yes we could all wish we done things different but your experiences have made u who u r and i bet u r a lovely kind, genuine person who is loved dearly and if u had been mr confident, i dont care, then mayb u wouldnt have the qualities that your family see in you that make u so special matey to them. hugs xxxx
Cheers donna, and your right my experiences have made me who i am.Its good to know ppl like you are around to give a bit of support when we get a bit down.Sometimes i think its hard for us blokes because we are ment to be super macho all the time,anywho enough of the negative thinking am back to being super macho again lol.
thanks again you lot...Best site on the net this is!!!
purplehaze
14-09-08, 09:01
No I was never bullied. I had 3 other brothers and if one got hit the other 3 would come down hard on whoever did it to him. In Glasgow we take no s**t, well not in my school and I dont regret hitting anyone who hit me or my brothers. I did whack someone with my dinning room tray after he kept kicking my heels while I was in line at primary, then my brothers jumped over to see what was the problem.
Me and my big brother are still the same now and if anyone hassles us we take no s**t.
Its not about violence its about standing up for yourself and even if my brothers where not there I would still give as good as I got and I tell my son the same...If anyone hits you hit them back and hit them hard..forget running to the teacher coz that solves nothing
Anyway thats just life and you got to deal with it
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Hi Neil.
I was bullied from the age of 12 1/2 to 15 because i was fat, ugly and didn't fit in. It was living hell.
I'm sure the experience of bullying has effected me in a negative way. I know it damaged my self-esteem and confidence, but i can't blame it all onto that, there has been other people throughout my life that have constantly put me down and criticised me.
Who knows if i was stronger and more confidence in myself i wouldn't have got panic attacks, afterall, it can strike anyone at anytime.
Granny Primark
14-09-08, 09:36
I was picked on for being thin when I was at high school.
I got called Olive Oil who was popeyes mrs.
I hated being thin and was constantly trying to put on weight.
Its now fashionable to look like a stick insect.
neil hun, if u really needed to be macho then u would be, my hubby is as laid back as they come and so calm its unbelievable, but if it came to protecting his family he would do the so called macho thing if he was pushed, so dont beat yourself up over how a bloke is supposed to be or act cos everyone is different and u know wot, i am so fiery and sometimes mouth opens beofre brain goes into gear hehe and he is the sensible one that says look and he will explain a situation to me mayb in a way i not thought of and will calm me down and make me think about it, we are both opposites and he is great for making me see things clearer and in return i am quite energetic and happy and positive and hyper so i bring out some of me in him, so we bounce off of each other. i wouldnt want him going around acting macho cos it wouldnt be him and im sure your family wouldnt want to change u. ok the bullying did affect him loads and knock his confidence but its also made him a very lovely special, patient, clever person and his mother who beat him also dosnt know wot a great son she got. xx
very true donna,well said!!
I was bullied as a child at junior school
but by the time i was in the bigger school i become a fighter and frought back
i was also bullied by certain family members untill i left home who i was to scared to fight back against.
And yes i think it has effected me.
I was very small as a child, the proverbial 'titch' at school. I was the smallest kid in my whole year, and smaller than a lot of kids younger than me. As a consequence, and partly due to it being a bit of a 'rough' school, I was forever getting kids picking fights with me, especially the bigger younger kids in 1st & 2nd year, who wanted to brag that they'd 'beaten up a 3rd-year'.
Fortunately I won all the fights as I was a right little scrapper, (and was always at the headmasters office), and consequently grew to quite enjoy getting into fights.
After I left school I did martial arts, joined the Marines, did weight-training, put on some weight, and soon 'bulked up' to a good weight/size.
Yes, very badly, and at several different schools. I went to three different schools in the space of two years. It was hell. I was brought up to be 'different' which didn't help, my parents disapproved of popular culture and I was a bit like an Amish child, I had no point of contact with the others and must have seemed weird.
All the problems I had put my parents under a lot of strain and I felt terrible guilt... I am still not over it really.
The bullying I experienced was mostly verbal, which makes me feel kind of wet given how much it affected me.
I got bullied by other boys (including a large number of my friends) because I was so manifestly sensitive to rejection, but the thing that has really stuck with me is the teasing I got from girls. It crushed my self-confidence permanently. I've only had one girlfriend and that was 16 years ago. (I married but that was complicated.)
That's where all this anger and this raging desire for revenge come from.
Like Kendo, I started exercising a lot when I was an adult and also I bulked out due to medication, so at least in terms of walking past gangs of youths etc. I tend to feel less vulnerable than I used to. I often get fantasies of beating people up but my wrists are too thin and I don't think I'd really be much good as a fighter.
I used to get beat up because of my size when i was in secondry school i was 6ft 1 and quite broad.So all the little toe rags used to like to get one over on the big lad.And on top the that alot of the girls at my school would take the micky too "asking if i had a brother that was not soft to go out with and things like that".Its weird for me because i CAN stick up for myself now,but i hate the fact i did not face up to it at school!!
I was bullied from the first day until the last....
I wasnt what you'd call bullied, i was just ignored. I was never part of anything and never picked for anything. I wasnt part of any 'in-crowd' but did have one mate all the way through so i suppose we were both ignored really.
Then, when i was 17 something strange happened. My teeth brace came off and i stopped wearing specs and started wearing make up and trendy clothes and i suppose you could say the ugly duckling turned into a bit of a swan! I went to a re-union disco and all the lads who had also ignored me were like bees round the flower...it was such a great feeling to ignore them all night!
Havent looked back since hahaha! :noangel:
Cath xxx
I wasnt what you'd call bullied, i was just ignored. I was never part of anything and never picked for anything. I wasnt part of any 'in-crowd' but did have one mate all the way through so i suppose we were both ignored really.
Then, when i was 17 something strange happened. My teeth brace came off and i stopped wearing specs and started wearing make up and trendy clothes and i suppose you could say the ugly duckling turned into a bit of a swan! I went to a re-union disco and all the lads who had also ignored me were like bees round the flower...it was such a great feeling to ignore them all night!
Havent looked back since hahaha! :noangel:
Cath xxx
great to hear when things like that happen..Well done!!:yesyes:
milly jones
16-09-08, 19:16
i never thought i was bullied at school
i was never physically hurt or had stuff taken from me
i was unhappy at school and was a loner who tried to join in with others
eventually i did join a group of 3 girls who appeared to accept me, but who were i see now emptionally bullying me
they would but me birthday pressies and inside would be rotten veg
they would laugh at me and id laugh too so as not to be outside the group
i now know i have avpd which is an social anxiety disorder
i was always the outsider cos i still find keeping realtionships difficult
through therapy thses feelings of hu miliation have surfaced
funny actually cos they are the same feelings i got a work when a colleague used to belittle me and did not follow instructions given to her
i now realise that cos i have avpd my communication skills were based on fear and defensiveness which she thought was rudeness
i got to the stage where i couldnt talk at work comfortabley
so yes i do feel bullying has affected me now
milly xx :blush:
I was bullied most terribly at high school, from the first day until the day i left at 16 years old. I was also bullied from kids who lived around the streets where i lived. I had noone to turn to as i am an only child and noone believed me! I am still affected by all of this and i am still very bitter about it and the people who did this to me. I cannot forgive or forget and would still like to get revenge. I never stood up to them and just suffered for 5 years. I had alsorts of bullying. From name calling to being beaten up.
Then we wonder why our confidence has always been a problem? Ha!
Liverbird67
16-09-08, 20:52
I hated high school was bullied for the whole five years I was there, bullied because I was clever and different, its the same at work, I am not a gossip or a person who delights in causing trouble or someone whom moans over trivial things so I don't fit in with some of the other women. so what! people whom are bullies never change and the people whom are in their particular little groups are worse! they are like bloomin sheep cannot think for themselves or are so desperate to fit in with what they perceive as the right crowd they have no minds of their own or are very narrow minded.
At least everyone on here is kind thoughtful and knows their own mind (even if they think that they don't they do!)
Lots of Love
My bully was kind of psychological. She was in my class and asked me to be best friends one day, this was in our first year of secondary school and I saw no reason not to so I said yes. After a while though she became quite domineering. She would be doing her homework in class and I had to keep an eye out on the teacher for her and I felt i had to or else. Somedays she would just stop talking to me or she would talk loudly about me in the class when the teacher was out.I was a very sensitive child and this started giving me panic attacks in class and removed all of my confidence so that I was the girl who had her lunch in the toilets some days. I ended up not finishing my first year but I never told anyone about her. I'm getting furious as I sit here typing this just thinking about it. I managed to move classes in my second year and after that school was great
i know i still have at of anger about how i was bullied and the fact that i was given no support from the school i was in when the bullying eventually came to light,my parents could of done more too i suppose.But to be honest at the end of the it was ME that failed me the most.If only i had stood up to these little sh*ts.I was bigger and stronger than all of them but i still let myself get hit!!:shrug: :shrug:
hi ,
Yes i was bullied as a child at school,at home and by people i knew.
I now take a very long time to trust people.I guess ive lost a lot of friends because of this.
Take care Linda(lindajoy)
the-heartache-kid
24-09-08, 16:59
ATTENTION!
Were you bullied at school?
Age 30+?
We want to hear your stories
Student filmmakers at Degree level seek participants for a Documentary
Directed by a EU & UK Film Council funded student with two years BBC experience
If interested please contact;
Stephanie & Emmanuel at bullyingdoc@hotmail.com
bullying for me is so not as bad as thoughs stories but it still hurt.after my best friend moved away i didnt really have many good friends left and then a new girl came and she had this way of manipulating people to do as she says and i actually spent alot of my last years of junior school alone becuase of that.she bullied me and so did many people when i got to high school as i was scared and weak.i was an easy target.i didnt no how to deal with it and unfortunalty i pushed all my last friends away.i still feel incredibly lonley everyday and i wish i had them to still stick by me.i try not to hold grudges but i cant help but blame that wretched girl for everything.
Yep, there was a kid down the block who was three years older than I was. He'd be friendly then fight with me then make friends with me, then fight with me. He was bigger than I was so I could never get the best of him. I think it had a negative effect on my self esteem and my relationship with people. I've always been on the shy side which hasn't helped either.
charlotte-louise
28-09-08, 20:27
I was bullied by my best friend at school when i needed her the most. i have petit mal seiziures when i was 10 til i was about 14 and she told everybody that i had an awful disease and to stay away from me
she also bullied me from year 8 to 10 of school :weep:
Im really weary of people, and my friends, and i dont trust them at all always think they r talking about me behind my back etc
i think this is where it stems from
It got so bad for me it was every man and his dog that wanted to give the big lad the good hiding.EVERY single lesson someone wanted to have a go at me,and that made fighting back so damn hard.Because it wasnt as if you had to fight one kid and that was it.It was 2,3,4+,but that bullies fav tactic,they are brave in a group.My fight back starte with around 4 months of school left.In all honesty it was too damn late,i left school with nothing all for the sake of waiting until it was too late.I went to college and did get some qualifications but here i am at 30 years old going to have to go back to college if i want the life i know me my wife and kids should have.If there is anyone out there who is being bullied at school,work or anywhere STAND UP to them now!!!! or one day you may just wish you had.....like me!
my hubby was bullied bad throughout school mainly because his mum used to beat him alot and verbally abuse him too, which made him shy and withdrawn and knocked his confidence, so made him a target for bullys.
he is such a lovely clever guy though but still lacks some confidence. i hope my kids dont face bullys cos its very upsetting, although i would try and sort it out very quickly.
I was bullied throughout primary school. The worst thing was, the lad who was my best friend at the start of school ended up being the one who bullied me the most. I remember having to go to a birthday party of his when I was around 10, 3 of the lads who bullied me the most were there, they had me in tears. Horrible memory.
I remember also, if I ever took it up with teachers, I always got told off for 'telling tales'. One teacher inparticular would always tell me off, or send me to the head whenever she found me in tears or upset because I'd been bullied.
When I went to secondary school I managed to near enough completely break away from all of those kids. Thankfully I got a different school bus than the majority of them as well.
But it has definitley stayed with me even now. I'm a friendly person, but I am very shy, and can appear to be quite standoffish, although anyone who knows me knows I'm not even slightly. I know for a fact that my self confidence and self image is right down in the dirt somewhere though. And I don't doubt for a moment that those childhood experiences have a major part to play in that. I also find it hard to keep friends. I have one core group of friends from college, but they're spread all over the country now, I only have 2 very good friends who live close to me. I have other 'acquaintances', workmates, people who I see out drinking on a saturday night, but not many close friends. So yeah, I definitley think it holds sway.
i was bullied all the way through my childhood, and it has left its mark, low self esteem , self confidemce, and lack of trust to name a few.... if only i could meet them now, i believe what goes around comes around eventually....and some of them have a lot coming their way...:)
I was bullied at school and think it is one of the main contributing factor of my anxiety. Looking back my first panic symptoms came on then.
It destroyed my self confidence and made me feel ugly. Ever since then I am constantly thinking/worried about what other people think of me as a person and the way I look in every social situation. I never feel comfortable when i am out. I always feel as if people wont want to know me and because my anxiety hinders me from doing things, I never have anything interesting to talk about.
I left school 15 years ago!!
I repeatedly became best friends with people that eventually bullied me. The first time was when I was 8/9 but I don't remember it at all (I only know because my family told me about it)
I was then bullied by 'best friends' again at the age of 13 and 15.
Recently I left my job after being bullied by my boss. The worst bit was that having experienced bullying as a kid and teenager I thought I should have seen it coming.
I understand now more about why I was bullied, but it had both bad and positive impacts on my life.
I was picked on in high school. By various pupils,some knew me,some were just randoms joining in.
Was the stereotypical chubby geeky girl with the frizzy hair and specs and apparantly this gave everyone the right even particular teachers to abuse me.
I think everyone including the teachers did it because they knew I wouldn't say boo toa mouse.. some of the hooligans in the school had the run of the place AND the teachers.
And..I think what's worse is the teachers are still there in that school,no doubt f***king up other quiet children
I was bullied at school - both junior and secondary, weirdly at junior it was for being posh (it was a school in Barnsley) and then at secondary for being 'common' ( a posh school in Sheffield). You just cant win!
The bullying at the second school went on for months and months and the whole year sent me to coventry - it was hell but I think those people were nasty losers. At the end of the day I do think it affected me a bit but not as much as the situation at home did so...
i was bullied at school.. i hated it used to come home as fast as i could.. im sure its the start of my troubles.. i find it very hard to trust anyone! even work collegues i have known for ages who i know are good freinds..
if im out with someone and in there car i carnt get out of it on my own for fear they are going to drive off and leave me as a "joke". i leave the door open or wait for them to get out first ect..
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