Bonnie
15-09-08, 19:43
hi i'm a new member on here and stumbled across this forum while tryin to find some sort of answer to my problems right i'll start at the beginning
nearly 6 weeks ago my aunt died she was only 37 and died 1 week before her 38th birthday she left behind 3 children 1 of whom has a disability, she had a massive heart attack but there have been rumours about drugs being involved but whether thats true i don't know. before she died we hadn't spoke for just over 5 yrs thru a family disagreement which now i see as trivial but cannot do anything about to resolve, i saw my aunt in hospoital lying there willing her to breathe and it was heartbreaking for everyone and her funeral was very emotional. my panick started just before the funeral i found i couldn't sleep and everytime i closed my eyes all i could see was vicky[my aunt] lifeless and the panic attacks started and my thoughts started to become clouded with sheer panic about death and my own i know it's gonna happen eventually but i'm panicking over everything i have 4 kids and i'm checking them constantly thru the night and even listening to my partner breathing. i wake up in the morning thinkin ok i made it thru again and i'm even going as far as thinkin about relatives funerals who are still here. i'm only 31 but i feel like i've been slapped hard in the face and i feel sick scared and terrified and i dunno what to do all i can see is black it's affecting alot of people my kids have noticed and it's not fair on them but i just don't know what to do
sorry if this is in the wrong place and sorry for going on
nearly 6 weeks ago my aunt died she was only 37 and died 1 week before her 38th birthday she left behind 3 children 1 of whom has a disability, she had a massive heart attack but there have been rumours about drugs being involved but whether thats true i don't know. before she died we hadn't spoke for just over 5 yrs thru a family disagreement which now i see as trivial but cannot do anything about to resolve, i saw my aunt in hospoital lying there willing her to breathe and it was heartbreaking for everyone and her funeral was very emotional. my panick started just before the funeral i found i couldn't sleep and everytime i closed my eyes all i could see was vicky[my aunt] lifeless and the panic attacks started and my thoughts started to become clouded with sheer panic about death and my own i know it's gonna happen eventually but i'm panicking over everything i have 4 kids and i'm checking them constantly thru the night and even listening to my partner breathing. i wake up in the morning thinkin ok i made it thru again and i'm even going as far as thinkin about relatives funerals who are still here. i'm only 31 but i feel like i've been slapped hard in the face and i feel sick scared and terrified and i dunno what to do all i can see is black it's affecting alot of people my kids have noticed and it's not fair on them but i just don't know what to do
sorry if this is in the wrong place and sorry for going on