thoughts and actions
15-09-08, 22:14
hi guys
On saturday night i went to a house party- there was about 20 ppl there- 5 of which were my closest girl friends.
We all ended up in the bedroom talking and one of them cuddled me and said how nice it was i was there, they didnt know if i was coming or not- at that point something clicked in me- i had to tell them
So i said "you know that excited feeling u get when ure going on holiday or a first date" well at some point during the day i will get that feeling because i have told my body or had a thought that something bad or fearful is going to happen- sometimes i can control it- othertimes it will take over and become panic- (then told them all the symptoms)
They were soooo sympathetic (coz i get emabarrased about it and dont wanna be like this) and it actually made me enjoy the night more coz to be honest once id told them they were like oh okay and talked about something else- it didnt matter- my perception of what they thought i was go8ing through and talked about me 24/7 was wrong- it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders- they didnt mention it again and prob some of them forgot about it lol
Its suprising when u share with ppl what u r going through how many of them have gone through this or know someone that has. I thought my friends would not be my friends n e more and i know now how silly that was of me - i was fearful of the thought that my friends would not be my friends if they knew- that tirggered panic to me when i was around them
Its like claire weekes says if you take the fear out a thought u r left with just the thought- a thought itself is not fearful.
I hopefully, have now enabled my body to react differently when i am out in public with my friensd- and so onto the next chapter
xx
On saturday night i went to a house party- there was about 20 ppl there- 5 of which were my closest girl friends.
We all ended up in the bedroom talking and one of them cuddled me and said how nice it was i was there, they didnt know if i was coming or not- at that point something clicked in me- i had to tell them
So i said "you know that excited feeling u get when ure going on holiday or a first date" well at some point during the day i will get that feeling because i have told my body or had a thought that something bad or fearful is going to happen- sometimes i can control it- othertimes it will take over and become panic- (then told them all the symptoms)
They were soooo sympathetic (coz i get emabarrased about it and dont wanna be like this) and it actually made me enjoy the night more coz to be honest once id told them they were like oh okay and talked about something else- it didnt matter- my perception of what they thought i was go8ing through and talked about me 24/7 was wrong- it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders- they didnt mention it again and prob some of them forgot about it lol
Its suprising when u share with ppl what u r going through how many of them have gone through this or know someone that has. I thought my friends would not be my friends n e more and i know now how silly that was of me - i was fearful of the thought that my friends would not be my friends if they knew- that tirggered panic to me when i was around them
Its like claire weekes says if you take the fear out a thought u r left with just the thought- a thought itself is not fearful.
I hopefully, have now enabled my body to react differently when i am out in public with my friensd- and so onto the next chapter
xx