Therapy bombshell!

[belle]

I don't know where to put this thread, so if it's in the wrong place, please move it :)

So yeah, i have just had a CBT session, the first in about 5 weeks. Anyway, he dropped the bombshell that I am possibly one of the very few in his 30 year career that hasn't made any progress.

Clearly this has made me feel like a sack of sh*t. I know i am not very good at this recovery business, but being told it, is not something you want to hear.

I just cannot do it. I cannot get past any of these feelings. I feel them, i avoid them. I have tried my fricking hardest over the 10 years of being agoraphobic to recover, but i am just not able to do it.

I've done 'baby steps', i've done 'exposure'. I've been exposing myself to the school run for FIVE years, yet i still feel panicky! HOW MUCH EXPOSING does it take to feel comfortable??? Five years and still no better, that's a sign that things just don't happen for me.

Do i curl up in a ball and just give up, 'cause that is exactly what i want to do right now. I am a big, fat, failure, who is undoubtedly destined to a life of misery and imprisonment.

I see NO WAY OUT.

[kendo59]

Hey, it's his job to help you improve. If you haven't improved, then it's HIS failure, not yours.
Are you paying for your therapy? Ask for a refund.

OK, let's look at your problem.

I have tried my fricking hardest over the 10 years of being agoraphobic to recover, but i am just not able to do it.

How far outside the house ARE you able to go? 5 years doing the school run is enough to make anyone panicky, so don't beat yourself up.

If you ran out of milk, food, medicine, etc, would you be able to go to the corner shop, or to the doctors/chemist? If your house was on fire, would you be able to leave it?

[milly jones]

huny altho cbt helped me conquer some of my fears, im 3 years later on still fighting

push for further types of therapy

for some ppl cbt works well. others understand the process but just cant make it a spontaneous mental action

im one of those

for some of my behaviours emotions are so repressed that it takes more

try and get other types of therapy, talk to ur psychiatrist and psychologist about the ways forward.

dont let it beat u, dont give in to the anx

theres lots more avenues to try

hugs

milly xxxx

[belle]

Kendo..

In answer to your question. I can't go out alone, at all. The school run is a 2 minute walk from my house, not exactly far!! If my house was on fire, yes i could walk outside, any distance, no.

Milly...

I think i am a lost cause.

[Anna C]

Hi belle,
What a horrible thing for your therapist to say to you! I thought CBT was all about getting you to think positively, they shouldn't be allowed to be negative towards you.
I can relate when you say you have tried for years and its still no better, I've been like that for years too.
I'm reading Claire Weekes, she said (not her exact words) that although you may do things and go to different places, you're doing it the wrong way, and at least for me I think she is right - I'm tense and terrified, so I've been following her advice and it did help me when I was scared on the bus yesterday.
No don't give up, and you're not a failure. I hope you find a therapy that will help you.
Anna :hugs:

[milly jones]

hun ur not a lost cause

never give up to the anx

never give up fighting hunny

u can get better

its fooling ur mind into doing what u want instead of the anx ruling ur life

pls seek more help

milly xxxx

[Tom_M]

It doesn't sound as though he's that good at his job. He's supposed to build your confidence up not destroy it. Unfortunately there's a lot of "career" types doing this work that shouldn't be doing it.

Tom