View Full Version : Repeated swallowing in intimate situations
Relentless
16-09-08, 23:10
For a number of years now I have experienced a problem of feeling the need to repeatedly swallow when I am either a) in close physical contact with someone b) when I'm in an intimate situation with someone and we aren't talking (e.g when watching a film) or distracted by other things.
I try to hide that I am repeatedly swallowing and it only really gets bad when whoever I'm with appears to notice that I am doing it to an excessive extent. This usually makes them feel uncomfortable and the condition even seems to be contagious as they seem to also start swallowing excessively.
A friend of mine who I have wanted to start a romantic relationship with came to visit me two days ago and we spent sometime laid on the sofa together when the fear of swallowing kicked in and I couldnt stop. This clearly started to make him uncomfortable and I ended up making excuses and he left. This problem really is ruining my ability to progress a relationship.
I have not considered that the obsession was linked to a condition such as OCD but after spending sometime analsing other unusual habits I have they seam to bear some relation.
I now have also developed a fear that I wont be able to kiss properly and so try to avoid having to do it unless I'm drunk. I have never had a problem like this before.
When I was a student I would'nt be able to sit on a computer right next to someone because I felt too self conscious and wouldnt be able to stop monitoring the person from the periphery of my eyes. I would worry that they would pick up on this and so would have to move. For this same reason I cant visit a cinema.
Sitting next to friends in lectures was also problematic and I would sometimes feel the need to swallow repeatedly.
The strange thing is that I dont rountinely feel anxious and generally fair well in social situations but I have these very specific problems that I am finding very draining.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Hi there. I really think this is an anxiety symptom, swallowing like this is a classic symptom, and even though you say you're not an anxious person generally, this is obviously your 'thing' in certain situations....just as some people get a churning stomach and others get wonky heartbeats.
Have you ever seen a cartoon strip in a comic where a character is faced with a scary situation and they always write a big 'Gulp' in the bubble? its the same thing, except in real life we dont actually say it we just do it!
Try to relax, do some deep breathing whenever you find yourself in this situation, maybe excuse yourself and go and get a drink to give yourself a breather and relax your throat muscles. If youve trained your mind to expect this symptom every time, then it will. It takes a bit of time to unlearn the programming.
Take care
Cathy xxx :)
General FOL
16-09-08, 23:26
Sounds similar to problems i have, i suffer from OCD and do a number of unusual things, including do things a certain amount of times, this could be anything from stiring a cup when making a drink to writing a full stop.
Have you been to your doctor?.
SuperInfinity
17-09-08, 14:04
Come on guys talk about it more please! I'm completely obsessed over this thing, I need information about it. Someone who has it add me to messenger please...
..
Hi there superinfinity. Sorry if you are freaking out over your own problem but this is in fact a thread started by another person who needs help for their particular problem. Whether their swallowing problem is part of ocd for them remains to be seen, but the replies on this thread will only relate to the question they have asked. If you need people to reply to your problems, then it might be better if you start your own thread and ask for help that way. There is also alot of written info in the main menu on the left of your screen
Take care
Cathy xxx
SuperInfinity
17-09-08, 14:42
Cathy V I already started my own thread about this. I don't understand why YOU are so interested in this. Is this thing taking over your life? I don't think so... so don't pretend like you understand the situation.
.
Whoa!!!!
First of all let's calm down.
We are hear to help one another, not judge, be critical or 'have a go'!!
Excessive swallowing or the feeling of the inabilty to swallow, as we know is an Anxiety symptom.
Relentless:
You say you have suffered this for a number of years. This could be due to not breathing correctly. I know it sounds funny, but, sometimes when we are excited, for example in the company of someone we are very fond of, our breathing can somewhat be erratic (unbeknown to us). Our swallowing can also do the same. Sometimes even our speech can become affected to the extent that we say a word we do not mean to say or we don't pronounce it properly. Our swallowing and breathing etc., are all controled by our subconscious and the fact that we become excited (it doesn't have to be anxious) or even happy in the company of someone, can be all it takes to suffer this problem.
I think this is more a question of nerves rather than Anxiety or OCD.
However, your feelings of self consciousness etc., can be due to Anxiety as can feelings of low self esteem and others.
You know that your swallowing isn't really a problem and therefore you need to tell yourself this...........OK, easy for me to say, but, you can do this! You may get embaressed as well which in turn will of course just make it harder, but believe me once you get over the hurdle, you will not notice it anymore.
It is only your throat muscles telling you to swallow (even if you don't need to) that is causing this.
Remember, there is nothing to fear.
Take care.
Kevin.
Sorry that you took offence super, but i was only trying to explain that you can sometimes get lost in the middle of another persons thread, and that if you had a problem yourself it would be better to ask questions on a thread of your own. I didnt realise that you had already done that, but if so then why are you talking on behalf of relentless on this thread? shouting for ppl to answer because you wanted some answers yourself?
Of course im interested in this problem, im a member of the site and try to help everybody as much as poss. I think your response was a bit over the top and you dont have to be so unkind.
Take care
Cathy xxx
....ive just found your thread and noticed that ppl took the time to reply to you but you havent even bothered to thank them. The last entry on yours was on the 12th, yet you seem to feel it necessary to answer ppl on this thread. Funny that.
OK guys..........let's call it a day shall we?
We are here to help and give support to 'Relentless' and for that reason only.
Let's NOT use this forum as a battle ground please!
May I suggest that if you want to continue your personal opinions or arguement, then you do so by means of PM or personal email......Please?
PEACE!!!
Kevin.
Hi Relentless :D:hugs:
You have had great advice allready, (as always on this great site) her is a link to another thread, I have replied to, which maybe of some help, its just another explanation of what might be happening
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=35820
What I would suggest is to look at YOUSELF MORE closely and ask yourself, WHY, you feel uneasy in this type of situations, its NOT easy to find the answers, you have to really look close at yourself. eg,
Do I like the way I look,
Do, I feel confidance in these situations,
do I feel in control of the situation.
If the answers to any of these questions are NO, you can work on these hun, giving ourselves something to work on helps us move forward a little.
It's possible, that over time you have lost confidance in these types of situations and this symptom has just become a habbit. You may even in the begining, used it as a distration ( short tearm coping skill) But, you did not learn to change your thought pattens in this type of situations, so the more you used this, the less it worked, the less it worked the more it came on, Your confidance went lower, the more it came on, the more you expected it to come on, ohhh am I making any sense at all LOL.
Over time when we have a symptoms, we link it into a certain situation, if we do not learn to change what is wrong in that situation,( are thought pattens) its possible the anxiety will spiral into other situations, like you said, you fear you will not be able to kiss probley. OHHHH hun, DON'T do this to yourself, OF COURSE you can kiss, please believe this, Mrs anxiety is playing with you, DON'T let her do this to you hun, please :hugs:
So hun, look at the situation more closely, I know this symptom is horrible, but look MORE at the cause, in this type of situation, Look at your thoughts, learn how you can change your thought pattens, write them down, change them to more positive reasuring one's., This helps us move on a little.
Hope this has helped a little hun, I know its hard for you right now, but with alot of hard work, time and support, you CAN get through this. :hugs:
YOU TAKE CARE
LOVE JILLXX
SuperInfinity
17-09-08, 16:48
I asked for another response here because I can't stop thinking about this. I've been coming back over and over hoping for another response to this problem. That's why in the end I asked that someone please say something else about it. Do you have any idea the amount of times I've clicked back hoping to see responses here? It's a lot. This is a major problem for me and I don't think you should judge someone who's desperate to find help about something, especially when it's just for a quick message encouraging more people to reply.
I did private message and instant message the people who replied to my other thread. The reason I didn't thank them in the thread is because I hoped other people would reply to that thread as well. I bumped it that way in this thread NOT my own thread because that thread is older and I didn't want to be rude.
I didn't thank them because I was waiting and hoping someone else would reply to it. If anyone has something to answer for it's the person who made the thread who hasn't even come back and replied once.
..
hiya hun, i think u need to calm down alittle as some people may find your posts a little rude. i really understand you are panicking and i am sure there will be people on here who u can relate to and vice versa, but u need to be a little patient as different people come on here at different times, i can not help with your problem but just wanted to say, you will find support so just stay calm cos this is a good site. hugs xxxx
Bloody hell what's going on here?
Superinfinity.
I think that last statement was unfair and uncalled for! Just because the person who made the initial post has not responded as yet doesn't mean they are not bothered. We cannot spend all day in front of the PC waiting for a response to our posts. (And incidently, I'm not suggesting you do)! We do have other things to occupy us.
May I suggest (as I said before) that we calm down, stop having a go and perhaps it would be a good jesture on your part Super if you withdraw your remark and apologised to the sender of the initial post concerned.
And please...........do not start having a go at me now for joining in, I am only trying to keep the peace.
Kevin.
hiya kev, calm down hun and if superinfinity reads some of the profiles of the people who have respnded to him including yours then they will realise we r all nice genuine people with issues and our own probs but r taking our time to try to help them.
u are great on this site and we all think u brilliant so chill hunny cos u are the mr comedian of nmp, so smile please matey hehe. hugs xxxxx
Hi Donna.
It's OK. Just trying to keep the peace.
You know me........so chilled, I'm clinically dead!!!
Take care.
K.
pmsl nice to see u back on track hun haha well u know for a dead person u make me giggle.
i know u were trying to help matey, dont worry about them, hopefully they will see that
SuperInfinity
17-09-08, 17:24
Bloody hell what's going on here?
Superinfinity.
I think that last statement was unfair and uncalled for! Just because the person who made the initial post has not responded as yet doesn't mean they are not bothered. We cannot spend all day in front of the PC waiting for a response to our posts. (And incidently, I'm not suggesting you do)! We do have other things to occupy us.
May I suggest (as I said before) that we calm down, stop having a go and perhaps it would be a good jesture on your part Super if you withdraw your remark and apologised to the sender of the initial post concerned.
If you look back carefully at what I said... I said: "IF anybody has something to answer for". I didn't say the topic creator DOES have something to answer for, I said that they would have more than me.
It was a direct comparison to how Cathy V criticised me for not replying in my thread, except this person made two topics about it and I only made one. Cathy V accused me of the exact same thing, not replying to people who answered in my topic. It may be an older topic, but I wasn't replying even though I was checking multiple times a day hoping someone replied. For a lot of reasons other than this.... it was worse for this topic creator not to reply than for me not to have replied there. I thought it would have been rude TO have bumped my own topic again. Again... not really criticising this topic creator, just saying I was no worse than them for not replying.
.
OK..........let's leave it then!
Case closed.
Another day tomorrow.
Kevin.
no worries super, cathy is just very honest and says how she feels, she is lovely though.
i hope u manage to over come your problem and find some people here to help support u and advise u, im sure you will and please try not to panic matey. hugs xxx
Relentless
17-09-08, 21:57
Hi everyone and thanks to all who replied. There appears to be some consructive feedback here, of which I will provide a more thorough response to as soon as I have had more time to digest the information. I'm a full-time, single parent so time is a precious commodity!
I have an appointment with a hypnotherapist tomorrow and Im also looking into asking my G.P to refer me to a cognitive behavioral therapist.
Will keep everyone updated on my progress and hope that others are making positive steps towards becoming more contented.
Hi to everyone, I have been suffering from social phobia since I was 14 and some automatic thoughts which are probably related to OCD since I was 19. Beside my SA, I started to suffer from neck tension/tighten in public at the age of 19. Then, after a severe and long lasting (3 weeks) upper respiratory tract infection, neck tension worsened and I also started to suffer from excessive swallowing at the age of 21. I was also told that I had a chronic sinusitis and deviated septum while i had that upper respiratory tract infection for 3 weeks. Finally, I started to suffer from excessive salivation at the middle age of 24. I will be 26 in this summer and I have still been suffering from neck tensions/tighten, excessive swallowing and salivation. I usually suffer from only one of them at the one time but its type and degree changes time to time. For instance I may have a mild neck tension in the morning then it may be gone and I may have a severe excessive salivation in the evening. I have been mostly suffering from excessive salivation, secondly neck tensions/tighten then excessive swallowing lately.
That was the short background of me, I ve read lots of things about SA,OCD and those 3 obsessive thoughts so far. Now, what I really want to do is doing a survey and try to see if there are some any other things which related to OCD or SA. For example according to some of the researches there may be a link between physical problems and OCD or tics. For example link between pharyngitis, throat infections and OCD, tics. Or most of us may have some similarities apart from OCD or SA. By doing this survey, we may explore some new things related to our problems even help to find new methods or ideas for treatment.
Here is the survey and my answers at the below, just beneath of it there is the survey itself without the answers so you can copy paste and fill in. If you are interested, please answer all the questions on the survey honestly. Thanks in advance, good luck and best wishes to everyone.
Nickname: abc_03
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Illness title: SA, OCD
Medicines: 20mg Paroxetine per day
Current main symptoms which you mostly suffer from: Excessive saliva, neck tensions/tighten, excessive swallowing, concentration problem, forgetfulness.
Other current symptoms, illness or problems no matter related or not to your mental disease: Chapped lips, excessive sex thoughts and libido, sinusitis and blocked nose, deviated septum, excessive yawning, easily getting startled, click voice from jaw disks, sometimes unbalanced walking, 3 teeth decay, big adams apple.
Old symptoms, illness or problems you had before no matter related or not to your mental disease with times: I was very naughty and active child in childhood, easily affected by movies or people and imitated/copied those characters in childhood, had measles at the age of 11, slowly started to be quiet, introvert and get nervous around people about at the age of 13-14, suffered from under feet pains and diagnosed as mild fallen arches about at the age of 15, I have sprained my ankles mostly in sport lots of time in my life, I have had lots of upper respiratory tract infections and pharyngitis in my life so far and diagnosed as chronic sinusitis and deviated septum at the age of 21.
Sufferers in 1st degree relatives with times and illness title detail: Mum has been suffering from schizophrenia, OCD and mild SA for about 25-30 years. One of my sister has been mentally insane since she was 14. Mum is 62 and sister is 42 years old now. Hopefully their conditions are not too bad but still they are sufferer. Btw, I have 5 siblings, 2 brothers and 3 sisters.
Medicine history: Only 50 mg Lustral/Sertralin per day from 2005 to 10/2008 then changed to 20mg Paroxetine per day only since 10/2008 so far.
Nickname:
Age:
Gender:
Illness title:
Medicines:
Current main symptoms which you mostly suffer from:
Other current symptoms, illness or problems no matter related or not to your mental disease:
Old symptoms, illness or problems you had before no matter related or not to your mental disease with times:
Sufferers in 1st degree relatives with times and illness title detail:
Medicine history:
Thank you, good luck and best wishes to everyone.
I totally sympathise with you Relentless and also with SuperInfinity because I know exactly what you mean. I had a relationship a few years ago, he picked up on it but it wasn't as bad then as it is now. I could do regular stuff then and contrary to your swallowing reaction Relent, my partner actually helped me forget my fixation not exasserbate it.
It shows that even though we have this common problem, it's unique to each of us. Mine stops me from doing alot of things I would normally do. I just say 'no' in advance when people ask me to go anywhere so that probably strengthens it's grip, I don't think I'm going to meet anyone but I've started going to Mind and you start to see the possibilties. I've also started taking medication called 'Fluoxetine' which is for O.C.D, it also works on alleviating depression and on bullimics. It is basically a muscle relaxant, you feel drowzy and your hands are hard to move with any vigour. It surpresses appetite and relaxes the tongue so it's more effort to swallow, I was dissapointed to find that swallowing actually feels more sensitive after taking this but the anxiety that would usually accompany that discomfort was just not there so it definately relieves stress.
Has anyone found a way to combat this 'obsession' that works naturally? The best thing I've found that relieves it is basically a holiday, a break from work for say, two weeks. It's the rare times I get close to or totally forget it.
sb001f8994
06-05-09, 20:46
Hi relentless,
I have a similar problem that only happens when im with my hubby, when Im just about to go off to sleep. I feel I havent enough spit to swallow and it makes me panic. If my daughter sleeps with me, when her dads away or if the grandchildren sleep it never happens! I had been having a bad time with my hubby and the doctor reckons this is stress. Also the kissing thing, I fear I can not kiss properly coz my hubby when drunk said the best kiss he had was three years ago...which was just about the time he was having an affair.
Ive not been too much help but wanted you to know that theres many of us about. take care,
x x
I understand Super, these e-mails tend to sound harsher than intended and I'm sure you mean no offense. We are all here for a reason, we understand how you feel so please relax and take heart. I wish I could offer you a cure but I'm sure you realise by now that it's like trying not to think of a pink elephant. What kind of cure could beat that conundrum? This is just a stress response so stress is the key. If you can get control of that then the obsession should ease. It takes courage to deal with a long-settled habit.
Sometimes also when you're down, people criticize you as if they're blaming you for it when you'd give anything to never think about it again. On this thread replies are sought after but slow in coming. We should all love & support each other, lets not fight.
Take care :)
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